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This page last viewed: 2017-09-14 and has been viewed 1427 times

Title: Man with a Van

Man With A Van

by Face's New Flame

 

Rating: R

Warning: slash. also very silly. really there is no excuse for this sort of thing, sorry.. oh, and very very AU

Summary: does BA love anything more than his van?

Notes: Another virus fic of atonement.... requested by Roady to feature Hannibal and BA and the van.... again, t'ain't what you wanted, but it's what you got.

 

 

#################

 

Murdock looked up momentarily, allowing himself to be distracted from the onslaught of tender little kisses Face was subjecting him to. Terrible, really, to be abused that way. Just awful...

 

'Colonel, he's never gonna notice. You're sharing a room with him, and he still hasn't seen it. Too busy with that van of his. If you want him, you're gonna have to just.. tell him.' He let his head fall back again and Face began licking his neck. Bastard.

 

'Hmph,' grunted Hannibal, noncommittally.

 

'Hmodgu wdgrht,' said Face.

 

'What?'

 

'Sorry,' said Face, remembering to remove his lips from Murdock's ear. 'He's right. BA's a great guy, but he's never been exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer when it came to dating. If you're hoping he'll take the hint from your long, moody stares, well.. you'll have a long wait.'

 

'Sometimes I swear he cares more about that van than me,' complained Hannibal. 'Although....'

 

Face moaned as he saw those 'jazz' eyes sparkling bright. Or maybe it was something Murdock's hand was doing in the area of his groin making him moan.

 

'Get a room, you two.'

 

'Yes SIR,' saluted Murdock, dragging Face by the hand. 'C'mon Face.. gotta follow orders!'

 

###

 

Face and Murdock lay on the bed, looking out of the window. BA was taking such great care of his van, washing it, rubbing it down, polishing it, waxing it.

 

'Sure can see why Hannibal's upset,' said Murdock. 'If BA spent *half* as much time on the colonel as he does on that van... but he doesn't even notice him.'

 

'Mmm,' agreed Face, somewhat distracted. 'Tell me, Murdock.. is watching that *rubbing* motion having an effect on you?'

 

Murdock grinned. 'Bags me the chamois!' he laughed, pushing himself against Face.

 

###

 

Next morning, the sun breaking through the curtains woke the young lovers. That, and a loud banging and crashing from outside. Yet more work on the van?

 

Face having hidden his head under the sheets as usual, Murdock took it upon himself to undertake the reconnaissance mission, peeking through the curtains. Yes, there was BA, changing a wheel by the looks of it.. and there was Hannibal, who was...

 

Oh boy!

 

'Face! Face, c'mon man, you *gotta* see this!'

 

Face peeled the sheet back a little, shielding his eyes from the cruel sun, and crawled over to the window.

 

And started chuckling.

 

For there was Hannibal, holding a pile of wing nuts, wearing...

 

Well, at first glance, it looked like a track suit. Sort of.

 

But when you looked at him, you noticed it was black. Kinda like the van.

 

With red stripes down the legs and arms. Kinda like the van.

 

Murdock grinned. 'I am *so* getting one of them in white.. you gonna wash me like you do the 'vette, Facey?'

 

'Maybe... can I give ya a hot wax too?'

 

###

 

Hannibal was getting more and more riled as the days went by. Murdock kept telling him, 'You're gonna have to spit it out. Like I did with Face.'

 

Face snuggled in beside Murdock, pecking him on the cheek. 'Never looked back, Hannibal.'

 

'Hmm,' growled Hannibal.

 

###

 

'So, BA, what you doing today?'

 

BA glowered. 'Changin' th' oil, foo.'

 

'Ah. And.. uh.. anything else?'

 

'Checkin' th' spark plugs.'

 

'Oh. Anything not van related?'

 

'Nope.'

 

'Giving it a good servicing then?'

 

For no apparent reason, Face collapsed behind Murdock's back in a fit of giggles. And Hannibal stormed off to do something terribly-secret-and-important in the other room.

 

###

 

Face brought Hannibal a gift wrapped box the next day. In it, was a pair of silk pyjamas, in not exactly a pink color, maybe something more like coral.

 

'Try a new starter motor,' he suggested. 'Always worked for me.'

 

###

 

That night, they didn't hear any snoring from the other bedroom. No moans of ecstasy, either. Nothing.

 

It was a hot, stuffy night, though, and Face opened the window a little. And *then* they heard it; a squeaking, springy sound.

 

They both peeked out the curtains. And there, in the bright moonlight, was one black and red van, swaying gently at first, then rocking a bit more quickly; then frantically.

 

'They're not.. are they?' Face had always been skeptical on Hannibal's chances with BA.

 

'Looks like it,' smiled Murdock. 'That or checking the suspension.'

 

'Hmm...' said Face pensively. 'Fancy road testing our springs?'

 

###

 

END!

 


Man With A Van by Face's New Flame

 

 


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