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Moments of Stillness
Date: April 2001
Rating: G (slashy but nothing graphic)Summary: Face is sound asleep but Murdock hasn't slept all night. Though this time it's not the nightmares that are keeping him from rest.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me no matter how much I wish they did. I think they belong to SJC and/or Universal. I only borrow them and I have made no profit from this. If anyone wants to sue me, please don't! I'm terribly under-funded.
Comments: Yes please!
Silence reigned, and the bedroom was still deep in gentle shadows. Murdock didn't have to look at the nightstand alarm clock to know that morning was getting close; he could feel it. He yawned and pressed a hand over his mouth to soften the sound; even the faintest whisper felt too loud in the quiet room. He hadn't slept all night, but it wasn't nightmares or worries that had kept him from rest this time.
He turned to his side, moving slowly, deliberately, as not to disturb the sleeping Face, and rested his head on his hand, propped up on one elbow. Murdock strained his ears; Face was breathing so quietly that he wasn't sure he actually heard it, or if he just felt it against his bare skin.
Face was sprawled out on his stomach, the lower part of his naked body still concealed under the rumpled covers. One arm hooked under the pillow and the other resting next to him. It had left Murdock a little cramped for space, but he didn't mind. Tonight he didn't mind at all.
He didn't want to give in to sleep yet. Soon, but not yet. Because when he woke up again he knew it would be gone, this calm, this rare sound of inner silence, and he'd be back in the maze trying to find his way out again.
He let his fingers slowly trace the outlines of Face's hand on the soft cotton sheet, following every familiar angle of it. Starting at the wrist, moving past the thumb, following the fingertips. Those slender fingers knew exactly where to roam to get him jump-started, firing on all cylinders. They also knew how to keep him begging, just shy of ecstasy, pleading for liberating release.
He kept circling Face's hand, close enough to feel the warmth, but never actually touching it, knowing full well that the slightest touch would wake the sleeping man in an instant. And Murdock wanted to watch him sleep just a little longer.
He'd already been watching for hours this time around, feeling Face's soundless breaths caress his skin, seeing the chest rise and fall with hypnotizing regularity. You're not half bad on the eyes, Faceman. Face's normally neat hair was tousled, and his mouth was open just a little bit. Murdock's smiled softly. Even in sleep you look like a million bucks. Murdock's hand froze an inch from Face's cheek; he had almost pushed a renegade strand of hair from Face's eyes without thinking about it. He let the hand hover over Face's skin a second, then pulled it back slowly. Don't wanna wake you, Facey. You just keep on dreaming.
Face shifted slightly in his sleep, awkwardly moving his feet to escape the sweaty confines of the covers, then settled down. Moments later he stirred again, and the hand Murdock had been circling reached out. Soft fingers brushed against Murdock's chest, came to rest there. Murdock lay motionless until he was sure Face was deep into sleep again, then put his head softly down on his own pillow, never leaving Face with his eyes.
I know you think it's crazy, Facey, but I can watch you for hours. Just watch you breathe; inhale, exhale. For hours. Murdock twisted the soft fabric of the sheet unconsciously between his fingers. It's like part of you rubs off on me when I watch you sleep. I seem to find these tiny stretches of calm, and all of a sudden I feel whole again. I like that. Fleeting moments of stillness. Inside and outside.
But they never last. So I stay awake and watch.
Murdock let his eyes travel down Face's body again. Starting at the mop of disheveled hair, running over the back (light scars against tanned skin. He couldn't see them in the darkness, but he knew they were there), and all the way down to the soles of the now exposed feet. Then back up again, following the same path. Murdock sighed contentedly and settled his gaze on his lover's face.
Half an hour later, faint daylight was filtering through the windows, slowly re-claiming the room. Murdock yawned again and pulled the cover up over his shoulders. He let his fingers close softly around Face's hand.
It was time to rest now.
~ The End ~
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