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Run Like Hell, Nowhere to Hide

Run Like Hell, Nowhere to Hide

by waffles


Rating: NC-17

Warning: Strong language, m/m non-consensual sex.

Disclaimer: S. Cannell owns the characters. Lyrics are property of Pink Floyd.

Copyright: waffles2001


Authors note: The phrases used in this fic are Vietnamese. Translations:

Dep trai- ("dep cheye"): Vietnamese for "handsome."

Lai dai- "lah-die" (VN) : Come here.

Dien cai dau- "dinky-dow" (VN) Crazy.





Running... Running... Tripping... Stumbling... Through the

darkness of my nightmares. I can see, but through

clouded eyes.


The jungle. Hot and steamy. Sounds of gunfire.

Yelling. Screaming. Hacking my way through the brush.

Sweat, dripping down my forehead, plastering my hair

to my face, my eyes. Stinging.


Eyes. All around me. Watching me. Trained on killing

me. They're not making any noise, but I know they are

there. They're doing what I was trained to do.


A click. The distinct sound of a safety being

released. Like an explosion in a silent room. Shots

Fired. Pain. Ripping through me. I'm hit. My chest,

burning, bleeding. I place my fingers over my heart.

Flesh, fading, my fingers, in front of my eyes. I'm

down. Blood. Fading. Fading.






"Murdock... Murdock... Snap out of it." Face snapped his

fingers just inches from the pilot's frozen face.


Nothing. Vacant stare. Eyes glazed.


'Buddy. Where are you now?' Face thought to himself.

"Come back."


Still nothing. No sparkle. No life in his eyes. Just a

vacant stare. Somewhere back in time. Reliving the

horrors he'd seen. The deaths of friends, of



Face slowly reached his hands out to the distant man.

"It's just me. Just me." He wrapped his arms around

Murdock and pulled him close. He buried his nose in

Murdock's neck, and took in his scent.


Old Spice. Not too strong, but nice. Relaxing. Murdock

had always smelled like this. Except during the war.

You didn't wear a thing out there in the jungle. They

could smell it. They could smell anything.


Face stroked Murdock's hair as he slowly rocked him in

his arms, trying to pull him gently from his






Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone home?'




Blood. Blood on my hands. Gun smoking. Enemy dead.


Killing. I can't handle this. This isn't me. Why did I

come back? Why?


Dropping the gun. Running. Back through the jungle.

Not looking.


Just running.


It's quiet. Too quiet. I don't like it. War is not

quiet. This is not good.


Trip wire. Shit. Explosion. Destruction. Pain. Blood.






Murdock stirred in Face's arms. Something flickered in

his eyes. Then it was gone.


"Come back. I'm here." Face whispered into Murdock's

ear. "I'll help you buddy."


'I love you.'


Sadness washed over Face as he sat, cradling his lover

in his arms.


"Why, Murdock. Why? What did you see?" Face muttered.

"What hit you so hard? What?" Tears collected in the

lieutenant's eyes. He couldn't stand the pain of

seeing his love get pulled back to the horror. Why did

it affect him so badly? I love him. I can help.


My love can help.




Come on, now.

I hear you're feeling down

Well I can ease your pain.

Get you on your feet again.




Hands grabbing me. It's dark. Damp. Dank. The smell of

blood and urine burn in my nose.


Is it my blood? Probably.


My neck is snapped back. All I can make out is a faint

outline of bars. People pacing back and forth.


Who are they? The enemy? Probably. Ignoring what's

going on.


Not out there. The killing. Me. Who fuckin' cares

about me.





I just need some information first.

Just the basic facts:

Can you show me where it hurts?




They're screaming at me. 'Fuckin' American, tell me

what you know.'


It's their language. I understand them though. They

want the upper hand.


I'm not talking. Soldier. Trained. Take what happens,

but don't talk.


My head's ripped back again. The cold steel blade of a

knife tracing a line across my neck.


They're going to kill me.


I won't talk.




There is no pain you are receding.

A distant ships sail on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.




Face looked down. Murdock's lips were moving. Words.

Scattered. Not making sense. Barely speaking. Not

American. The enemies language.


"Lai Dai.. dien cai dau..." Murdock stumbled over the

words. Not making any sense.


"Murdock... Murdock... Come back." Face begged his lover.


He was lost in another time. Flashbacks. Memories.



Face lightly rested his fingers across Murdock's lips.

Soft. Warm. But not understanding what he was saying.


"Shh.. Love, it's ok. Come back."




When I was a child, I had a fever.

My hands felt like two balloons.

Now I got that feeling once again.

I can't explain, you would not understand.

This is not how I am.




Hands. All over me. Pulling my hair. Stroking my face.


Memories. My Uncle. Touching.


Something whispered in my ear. 'Mine, you're mine.'

Was that the enemy? Or my Uncle?


Fuck. They're both the enemy.


My head is shoved into someone's crotch. I can smell

him. Foul. Fucker.


I hear his zipper drop. My face pushed against his

dick. Shoved in my mouth.




Pulling my hair. Fucking my face.


Memories. Being used.




I have become comfortably numb.




Throat filled. Hot cum gagging me. Sick fuckin'



I'm pushed back, my head hits the dirt. Boot in the

ribs. Again.


Picked up and flipped over. My face being pushed into

the ground.


Dirt. Sweat. Cum. Filling my mouth.


"Talk American, talk!"


A jab. A sting. Floating. I can't focus. Fuzzy.





Just a little pinprick.

There'll be no more. Aaaaahhh!

But you may feel a little sick.




Bile, rising up. Filling up my mouth. Mixing with the

dirt. The sweat. The cum.


Spinning. Still dark. Words, spilling out. I don't

know what the fuck I'm saying. Words and bile. Vomit.

Dribbling down onto the dirt. Smearing on my face.




Can you stand up?

I do believe it's working. Good.

That'll keep you going for the show.

Come on it's time to go.




Picked up. Slammed against the wall. Knees buckling.

Pulled up again.


"Lai day." Being dragged. Stumbling, tripping, hazy.

What'd they give me?


Louder. Out of the room. No walls. Escape?


I try to break free. Can't walk. Stumbling.


"Dung lai!" One of them shouts, then something strikes



Pain. Spreading. Back of my head. Fuck.


Dragged inside again. Blurry vision. All I can make

out are shapes. Lots of them.


Thrown down again. Circling. Enemy circling. I can

feel them grinning at me. One of them speaks.




I know what's coming.




There is no pain you are receding.

A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

Your lips move, but I can't hear what you say.




More muttering. Unintelligable. Face continued to run

his fingers over Murdock's lips. "What's in your mind,

Murdock?" Face talked. Just to hope that somewhere in

there, Murdock heard his voice.


No reaction to the voice. But his eyes flickered.

Fear. Understanding. Face knew the look. Knew

instantly what Murdock was reliving.


He'd been there before. Had it happen to him. He

buried it deep inside. With time the memories faded.

They didn't for Murdock.






When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse

Out of the corner of my eye.

I turned to look but it was gone.

I cannot put my finger on it now.




Circling. An order. A shout.


Clothes being ripped from my body. Hands all over me,

stroking me, but roughly. Talking while they stroke.

"Dep trai."



Hard cock. Pushed against me. Pushing in. Pain.

Ripping through me. Over and over. Forcing. Grinding

my face in the dirt.


Something. Distracting. In the corner, dirty, bloody.



Fatigues. Tall, lanky. Familiar. Too foggy. I flicker

back. It's gone. Not there. Who was it?


Uncle? Enemy? Me?


Blocking out the pain. Grandma. Cookies. Home. Love.



They used to exist. Not in this hell though.


Hands, groping, pulling, hurting.






Silence. They're gone. Left me here.


It was me in the corner.




Murdock began to thrash wildly in Face's arms. The

younger man tried his best to calm him down.


Holding him tightly. Waiting for him to come back.

Waiting. Loving. Hoping.




Murdock calmed down. Like he lost the will to fight.

No expression. Vague. Blank.








The child is grown, the dream is gone.

I have become comfortably numb.




Run Like Hell, Nowhere to Hide by waffles



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