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This page last viewed: 2017-08-15 and has been viewed 835 times
Summary: What if the Superman/A-Team words collided into each other full force?
The van was speeding down a gravel road, rocks flew every which way, and there were police cars chasing the van too. Lights were flashing, guns were being shot. Finally, the driver lost them, and three heads looked out the back windows.
"Nice job B.A. We lost 'em. They're gonna have a hard time figuring out, where we went." He chuckled a little, and lit a cigar. Then, he went back to studying the map.
"Uh Hannibal, where exactly are we going?" asked, a cautious/worried voice, from behind him.
"Metropolis, New Troy." Hannibal turned to B.A., and said, "Take a right up here, and we'll be back on the freeway. That's where we're going to meet our client Face," said Hannibal.
Finally answering his second in command. Face said, "You still haven't told us who our client is."
Hannibal said, "Our client is, Superman." Hannibal continued, "But we're going to meet, his close friend Clark Kent in front of the Daily Planet."
"We what?" asked B.A.
B.A. disliked the press (not including Amy Allen of course), almost as much as he disliked, the police officers, and any other uniformed person, who supposedly upheld the law.
Hannibal was still talking, "We're going to meet Clark Kent in front of the Daily Planet news building."
B.A. scowled, "Great, them r'portahs gonna want ouh pictuh's Hann'bal."
"Aw c'mon B.A., you're very photogenic," chimed in a new voice.
B.A. growled, "Shuddup Crazy Man." "I ain' got no time foh yoh jibba...."
Murdock answered, "I know, I know. Ya haven't got any time for my jibba-jabba. That line's old." Murdock continued, " 'Most as old, as my deep respect for ya."
"Grrrrr," replied the driver.
Then the voice continued. " 'Sides I'm excited we're gonna be, workin' for Superman." The voice continued, "He can fly 'ya know." The voice continued to continue, "I wish I could fly like Superman."
B.A. muttered, "You crazy foo'. Bad 'nough ya ev'n fly a' airplane." B.A. continued, "You crash mos' o'em tha' ya fly. If you cou'd fly yore ownse'f yo'd prob'bly crash yore body ta the groun' too."
Murdcok replied, "Oh you're a laugh riot Ugly Mudsucka. If you weren't so afraid of flyin'...."
B.A. growled, "Ain' 'fraid o'nothin'. Now shuddup, 'fore I make ya shuddup."
Murdock continued, heedless of the threat to his life. "If you wasn't so afraid of flyin', you'd be a much happier person."
"I SAID SHUDDUP MURDOCK."
With that said, Murdock stopped pestering B.A., and started pestering Face. He said "We're gonna be workin' with Superman. Ain't that super?"
"Oh yeah, just," murmured Face. Soon, they were in Metropolis.
MEANWHILE AT THE DAILY PLANET A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE GUYS ARRIVED....
Lois Lane was having a hard time concentrating on her work. Suddenly she had premonition, and looked up from her desk. She looked at her partner's desk, and saw that he was gone. She knew Clark's identity, and so she decided to see if she could find him. She made sure nobody was looking, and sneaked out. As soon as she got to the front of the building, she found Clark standing and it looked as if he were waiting for something, or somebody.
So she stood right beside him, and she asked, "What are you doing Clark?" Even though he'd heard her coming, he had been so lost in thought, that her voice had made him jump a little. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."
"You still didn't answer me. What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for someone. Actually several someones."
"Superman's run into a problem that not even he can solve."
Lois knew it was bad. When he started talking about himself in third person, that meant that this problem or whatever, was very big indeed.
Clark continued "So I hired out some help."
"They're sort of renegades...."
"Renegades? Superman would not be working with renegades."
"He would if he believed in their innocence," answered Clark.
"Who are they?"
"They call themselves the A-Team."
"WHAT?" screeched Lois. "Th-They're trouble. They have weapons and everything."
"Yeah, but they don't kill people."
Just then Lois spied the suitcase at Clark's feet. "What's in there?"
"Money," remarked Clark matter-of-factly.
"Clark Kent...." Before she could finish her splutter, a van with red detailing on its side, skidded around the corner, and stopped right in front of the two.
Four men stepped out, dressed as differently from each other, as the men themselves were. They surrounded the couple, and Hannibal said "We're here Mr. Kent."
"Call me Clark," replied Clark.
"Okay then Clark. And may I ask who you might be Ma'am."
"I'm Clark's partner," said Lois. She then spun on her heel, and went back inside the Daily Planet's news room.
After she'd gone, Hannibal introduced the rest of the Team. "This is Templeton Face/Faceman Peck, Bosco B.A. Baracus, and last but certainly never least, Howlin' Mad Murdock. I'm of course, Hannibal Smith."
"Nice to meet you. Just to refresh the others' memories, I'm Clark Kent. And that was Lois Lane. We're partners. Enough about that though. Do you all have a place to stay tonight?" All four shook their heads no. "Well you can stay at the Lexor Hotel." He nearly choked on the word Lex, and Hannibal noted the fact.
Hannibal politely nodded. He then asked, "What about Superman? Where's he going to meet us?"
"At Centennial Park. Here's the directions." He handed Hannibal a piece of paper with the directions of Lexor Hotel, and Centennial Park. With that, and the promise of Superman meeting them that night, the four said goodbye to Clark, and headed towards the hotel. During the ride there, Murdock regaled them with the latest movie coming out into theaters.
"It's really neat. It's the new James Bond Movie. He's a spy of course, and then he gets mixed up wit' the wrong people, and he turns into a bad gu...."
"Murdock shuddup," yelled B.A.
"Aw c'mon B.A., the best part's comin' up."
"I don' care."
"Shuddup." Murdock for once, shut up, and remained quiet the rest of the way.
Hannibal said, "Well guys this's it."
Face whistled. "Whew not bad, not bad at all. Definitely to my taste. I think I'll go and get us some rooms Colonel," he volunteered.
Hannibal looked at his second in command. "What's in it for you? Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden?"
"Oh come on. Can't a guy be nice once in a while?"
"Sure. But you're not the type to be a nice guy."
"Well I just feel different that's all. I promise, I can get us all nice rooms, with no hurt at all to our budgets."
"That's so generous of you Lieutenant. But usually I have to order you to get us some rooms."
Finally exasperated Face said, "Please. Just let me go and get the rooms."
The three waited in the lobby, and a few people looked at them with curiosity. A snobby couple even had the nerve to make remarks. "Well of all the trash that comes in off the streets," said the woman. The man answered, "Yes, they should ban people that look like that from coming in here." As they were scrutinizing the three, B.A. growled. "Well of all the nerve," sniffed the woman again, and the two hurried away.
"Well thanks alot," sniffed back Murdock. "We aren't street trash."
"No we're not," agreed Hannibal.
"You jussa crazy man," answered B.A.
Just then Face appeared again. He threw a key into the air, and said, "Gentlemen if you'll follow me." He led them to the presidential suite.
Murdock whistled, and B.A. growled, "Faceman, ya got us this? Oh look a t.v." He hurried over to the box in question, and flipped to a sports station, and watched a football game. He was so absorbed in the game, that he missed the conversation going on in the kitchen between Hannibal, Face and Murdock.
"This is nice Face, but I thought you were getting us several rooms?"
"Well I was going to, but this was much cheaper then getting four different rooms. Besides all the chump change we've been making, didn't cover the fees."
"Oh. Well, carry on then."
Left to themselves, Murdock and Face looked at each other, and shrugged. The two split, and Murdock explored the suite. He found the candy/liquor cabinet, and he was about to eat a candy bar, when all of a sudden..... "MURDOCK STOP! DON'T EAT THAT!!!"
Murdock dropped the candy bar onto the floor, and he asked "What? What's wrong? What happened Faceman?"
Face picked up the candy bar, and started to give Murdock a lecture. "Do you know how much one of these costs?"
"Uh-uh. How much?" questioned Murdock.
"Well let's see, you probably got a twelve dollar candy bar right here."
"Twelve dollars? But Faceman, I haven't got twelve dollars." Face frowned. Murdock replied, "All right already. I'll put it back." He was in the process of doing so, when Face left the room. As soon as Face was gone, Murdock started eating the rest of it.
Hannibal then came into view, and asked, "What're you eating Murdock?"
"A twelve doll'r candy bar Colonel."
"Okay." Hannibal made his way to, his bedroom, and sat down on the bed. He was thinking over the case at hand. This was too weird of a case, and then some. Some people that Superman was dealing with, had found a way to slip some Kryptonite into his Kryptonite proof suit, and now Superman had no way, to get them to justice. Well how was he and the Team supposed to? They were after all, fugitives. If they brought the bad guys were brought to justice, surely they'd be put in jail too. Could they trust Superman? What a dumb question, of course they could. Superman was Superman. He stood for Truth, Justice, and most importantly of all, The American Way....
Suddenly a plan formulated in his head. He picked up the phone, and found a phone book in his dresser drawer. He found Clark's phone number, and he called him up. But all he got was, the machine. He hung up the phone, and started to pace around again. He waited an hour, and then he called Clark's apartment again.
The next morning.... "Get up guys. We're going to meet Clark, and his partner Lois at the restaurant downstairs, in an hour."
"But Hannibal, it's only six a.m."
"No really? Get Up Lieutenant." When Hannibal used lieutenant, in that tone of voice, he meant it, and nobody had better argue with him. Without further complaint, the lieutenant did as he was told, and stumbled towards the shower. Hannibal went to the other rooms, and made sure that both Murdock, and B.A. were up too.
"I'm up Colonel," came Murdock's voice.
"Good. Is B.A. up too?"
"Don' think so. He's snorin' up a storm."
Hannibal grinned a little at the statement. "Well come on out, and we'll both wake him up."
"Aw Colonel, lemme do it... Please? I like to wake 'im up, 'most as much, as I like wakin' up the Facial One."
"Okay. Just try not to get killed. Okay?"
Hannibal turned away from Murdock's door, and went to the center of the suite. He sat down on one of the couches, and was waiting for his men to gather themselves into the living room as well. Just then he heard a noise........
"Foo' get out m' door, or I'monna let you have a tas' o'my choc'late fist. Wakin' me up, when you knew I 'as alre'dy up." The two came into the living room, B.A. was holding on to the back of Murdock's leather jacket. Murdock was yelping, and when he saw the colonel's face, wriggled from the big guy's grip.
"He'ya Colonel. I got 'im up."
"I can see that Captain, good job. And where's Face?"
"Coming," came Face's voice. As usual, the Lieutenant was impeccably dressed in a suit.
Hannibal said, "Face we're going to breakfast, not a lawyer's convention."
Face replied, "So? I like to be dressed properly. Who knows, who I'll catch the eyes of. A pretty lady perhaps...." His voice trailed off, and the three others rolled their eyes in his general direction.
"Or maybe the eyes of the guys in white?" suggested Murdock.
"Or maybe the eyes of the guys in....," repeated Face, not paying attention to what he was repeating. Finally realizing his error he squeaked out, "Hey!"
Hannibal, and B.A. tried hiding their smiles. Seeing as everybody was ready to go, Hannibal said, "Let's go. We're late already."
"Late for what?" asked Face.
"Our meeting with Lois and Clark."
"We're meeting them where?"
"At the restaurant downstairs."
"Oh, yeah. Well let's go Colonel. What are we waiting for?"
"For you to stop your babbling," commented Hannibal.
MEANWHILE AT LOIS'S APARTMENT......
"We're meeting who? Where?" asked Lois Lane into the phone. "You know, I don't care for them Clark. You'll be over when?" TAP-TAP. TAP-TAP. Lois went over to the window........ "Oh hi Superman." She said that just in case, someone'd overheard something in the halls.
When he got in, he asked, "Well are you ready Lois?" Lois put the cordless phone back into the cradle. Then she nodded at him........ "Good. Jump up."
He cradled her in his arms, and she asked, "What is going on here? Why are we going to meet them?"
"Because, Mr. Smith, called me last night, and told me he had a plan. That's why."
"Oh. Well I have a few questions to ask him...."
Her thoughts went uncompleted for then, because they had landed, right outside the restaurant. Clark pulled her to a corner, where they wouldn't be seen, and spun out of his suit. Then they, both went inside, and found the Team already seated.
As soon as Hannibal saw them he said, "Pull up a couple of chairs. Ms. Lane, you may have my spot." He graciously stood up. She glowered at him, but she took his place, so that she wouldn't seem so rude. As soon as, everybody was seated, Hannibal said, "As you all may or may not know, I've gotta plan. Here's what I need your help on Clark. I need you, and Lois to find Superman, and bring him to Centennial Park tonight, and I'll discuss the plan in fuller detail. Think you can find him for me?"
Just then Lois, spoke up. "You dragged us all the way over here, to see if Clark could find Superman, when you said you would tell us the plan this morning?"
Hannibal replied, "Yup. Now if you'll excuse us...."
Lois spoke up just then, "Oh no, you're not getting off that easy. I've found out stuff about you guys."
"This should be fun," muttered Face.
"Go on Ms. Lane," said Hannibal, getting a slightly amused expression on his face.
Lois stated, "You're all running from the law, but you've totally disgraced the Army, not to mention one Colonel Roderick Decker."
"It's been a fun ride," countered Hannibal. Grinning.
"You've also been playing a dangerous game of Hide and Seek," she countered again.
"More of a Who's Smarter Then Whom deal," explained Hannibal matter-of-factly.
Lois countered, "You're all very expensive, and make your clients pay you in unmarked bills, whether they have the cash or not."
"Oh no, sometimes we take Travelers' Cheques," said Hannibal again. He was beginning to enjoy their little tete'a'tete', but time was running short, and he did need to meet up with Superman.... "Ms. Lane it's been fun, but we've gotta go. Here's some money for the meal check."
As he got up to go, Clark handed him the suitcase full of money. "From Superman," he'd whispered. Fortunately Lois didn't hear a thing, and the four made their way out, and back to their suite.
LATER THAT NIGHT.......
Hannibal was pacing again, while the others were heading out to town. "Are you sure, you don't wanna join us Hannibal?" asked Face.
"I'm sure. You guys all go and have a good time."
"You ain't sick, are 'ya Hannibal?" asked Murdock. Worry rising in his voice. "No Murdock. I'm fine. Really."
"If you say so man," said B.A. And all three went out the door.
So as he was pacing, Hannibal's brain went into overload. Suddenly, he'd gotten a mental image of Superman, and Clark together, and he heard their voices too. "I've got it! I know Superman's secret identity." Suddenly he realized, he was shouting too loud, and covered his mouth, with his hands. He made sure nobody'd overheard his exclamations, and called up Clark again. He was at the Daily Planet, and so Hannibal decided to call the Daily Planet Newsroom. "Clark Kent please." Soon....
"Clark Kent speaking."
"Hi Clark. Listen, can we talk?"
"I know who you really are."
"Who am I really?" asked Clark. He was dreading what was coming next.
"Just come to the presidential suite. Okay?"
"Okay. I'll see you in five minutes."
EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES LATER....
"Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap...."
"I hear you, I hear you," came Hannibal's voice from inside the room. He opened the door, and led Clark inside. "Clark, I know who you really are."
"Oh really? And who is the real me?"
"You're...." (whispered here), "You're Superman."
Clark jerked back a little, and said, "I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out, right away. But, yeah, I am Superman."
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."
"Now could you do me a favor, and meet us as planned?" asked Hannibal again.
Clark replied, "Sure."
Hannibal continued, "Don't worry, I won't tell my teammates. Now get out of here, before they get back." Suddenly there were footsteps, and they were surrounded by the other guys. "Hey guys, did you have a nice tour of Metropolis?" asked Hannibal.
There were a chorus of 'yeahs', and suddenly, "No."
Hannibal asked, "No? Why not Murdock?"
"Didn't get to see Superman, not one time."
"Okay, time to head off to the Park," said Hannibal. Gathering his men up, like a chicken gathering her chicks, under her wing. Clark made a lame excuse, and darted off, while the four made their way to, the Park.
Twenty minutes later.....
"Okay we're all here," said Lois. "What are you going to reveal to us?"
"Here it is....."
"You've gotta be kiddin' Hannibal!!" exclaimed Face.
Murdock said, "That seems a bit ordinary for ya Colonel."
Hannibal replied, "Yeah well, it's all I could come up with in a pinch. Face we need these items." He handed the list to Face, and Face motioned for Murdock to follow him. They were going scamming....
"What are we going to do, while they go get the supplies?" asked Lois.
"We wait, and then we start building. Now you, and Superman, know what your assignment is. Right?"
"Right," they both chorused. "Although I think it's a worthless plan," said Lois.
"Thank you for the input Ms. Lane. But we've gotta get this thing built, or we won't catch them by surprise. Superman, do you know where they're hidden?"
"Sure do." He gave Hannibal, the instructions, and then they continued to wait for Murdock, and Face. Finally they were back, and they'd gotten all the stuff.
"We got it, but the guy who gave us the body of the old car, didn't seem too enthused that I was getting it."
"Well all that matters is, that you got the car. Isn't it?"
An hour and a half later.....A car with dynamite hanging all on the outside, and on the inside too, was being driven by, Murdock and Face. While they followed, the van. Meanwhile, Lois and Clark were inside the building. Clark radioed Hannibal, and told him the coordinates. As soon as the coordinates were taken down by Hannibal, Lois and Clark went out of the building. Clark had spun into Superman first, and had put Lois into his arms. Then they flew as far from the building as they could. So that Lois, wouldn't get scorched.
As soon as the Team reached the building, Hannibal spoke into his walkie-talkie: "Now Face, now." The two exited the car, and lit it up. Then they (with the help of the van), pushed it into the building.
After the fire was set, Clark deposited Lois somewhere safe, and blew out the fire, so that it was only a smoldering pile of bricks. The smoke was awful, but the bad guys somehow stumbled out. Once out they were all caught, and Superman brought them to justice. While, the Team brought the extra Kryptonite to S.T.A.R. Labs. There was alot of Kryptonite, but Doctor Klein put it in a lead lined safe.
Soon, the four were all back in Metropolis, and they were being thanked by the two reporters. "Next time, I'll find out for myself if rumors are true," stated Lois. "I enjoyed having you all here, and helping out Superman."
"Yeah Superman really enjoyed your help," said Clark. He winked at Hannibal, and Hannibal winked back. Soon, the four were back to their routines, and Lois and Clark watched as they rode out of the city's boundaries.
Suddenly Clark's super hearing picked up something. He smiled and related what he'd heard to Lois. She turned to him and said, "You know he's absolutely right. I love it when a plan comes together too."
"Uh-oh what's this I'm hearing?" asked Clark.
"What is it Clark?"
"Nothing. Just a howl. Sounded like something Murdock would do."
The two smiled, and soon the van was out of sight, riding into the sunset, like all heroes are prone to do.
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