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Three Little Fugitives

TITLE: Three Little Fugitives © 2000

AUTHOR: SherryGabs

RATING: G ARCHIVE: Yes /w comment card

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any A-Team characters, just like to play with them. Also, no infringement intended on Walt Disney's Three Little Pigs.

WARNINGS: Only extreme silliness.

SUMMARY: Three fugitives leave home to seek their fortunes and have to deal with a wicked MP. This is a silly parody of the classic folklore. Blame it on my hubby, it was his idea!

 


 

THREE LITTLE FUGITIVES

SherryGabs

 

This is the story of three little fugitives, and one big bad military policeman named Decker.

The three little fugitives were hiding away in a house at the bottom of a hill. They lived with their fearless, cigar-chomping commanding officer, Hannibal Smith.

The big bad Decker had commandeered a house at the top of the hill. He lived alone. With his demeanor, is it any wonder?

One day Hannibal said, "Boys, it's time for you to go your own way. And to live in your own houses. I'm sick and tired of having you around me constantly!"

"Yes, it is time," said the first little fugitive. His name is Templeton Peck. Known as Face by his fellow fugitives. He is handsome, sexy, blue-eyed, blond-haired, charismatic, God's gift to women everywhere----ahem. You get the idea.

"To go our own way," said the second little fugitive, known as HM Murdock. Also known for his lack of mental stability. His puppy dog brown eyes danced with enthusiasm. He wanted a big yard for his invisible dog, Billy, to run freely.

"And to live in our own houses!" growled the third little fugitive. Actually, BA Baracus wasn't so little. He was pretty big. His outward appearance was mean and, when showing his angry expression, he could out-ugly a wart hog. Inside he was as mushy as a marshmallow.

So the three little fugitives packed their bags.

"Good-by now," their CO said, thinking 'don't let the door hit your butts on the way out'. "And don't forget--watch out for the big bad Decker. He tries to capture little fugitives."

"We won't forget, Colonel," said the three little fugitives.

"B is for big," said the first little fugitive.

"B is for bad," said the second little fugitive.

"D is for Decker, who oughtta be fed to the wolves!" threatened the third little fugitive.

They left the house at the bottom of the hill. They waved good-by and went their merry way. Soon they came to a place where three roads met.

"I'll go this way and build a house," said fugitive number one, carefully running fingers through his hair to make sure it wasn't mussed.

"I'll go that way and build a house," said fugitive number two. "Lots of room for Billy to chase things down that way."

"You ain't got no dog, crazy fool!" said fugitive number three. "I'm gonna stay right here and build my house," noting the surrounding trees could provide cover.

So each little fugitive went his own way.

The first little fugitive built his house of straw, while humming the tune 'Little Grass Shack'. One, two, three, snip, snap! His house was done. It was not a very good house. It was not a very strong house. "But who cares?" said the little fugitive. "I don't want to work all day. I have a date tonight and need to think of charming things to say." Donning his tight little swim trunks, he stretched out on the lawn chair to soak up the sun; daydreaming of two tropical beauties fanning him with huge palm leaves.

But *someone* was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to capture little fugitives.

The second little fugitive built his house of tinker toys and a few odd Lincoln logs. One, two, three, zip, zap! His house was done. It was not a very good house. Or very strong. "But who cares?" giggled that little fugitive. "I don't want to work all day, I want to run and play. Come on, Billy!" This is what he did.

But *someone* was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to capture little fugitives. 'I knew Murdock was still a part of the Team!' he thought triumphantly.

The third little fugitive built his house of bricks reinforced with steel rods. Now this little fugitive worked hard. He made a floor of wood over a concrete sub floor. He made an unbreakable door. He built his house brick by brick. And he installed a gun turret on the roof, disguised as a chimney. When it was done, it was a good house. And a strong house. "Now I have time to rest and clean my guns," said the third little fugitive. And so he did.

But *someone* was watching from the hill. Someone who liked to capture little fugitives.

The very next day, *someone* came down the hill. THE BIG BAD DECKER! He went to the house of straw. He banged on the door. "All right, Peck, I've got you now! Give it up and come out," he called.

The first little fugitive looked out the window. He saw the big bad Decker. "No, not this time you ignorant lout. I am not coming out!"

Decker got huffy and puffed up. "Then I'll have to blow the house down around you, Peck!" he said, angrily. He raised his fully automatic rifle and let loose a barrage of gunfire, disintegrating the straw house in a matter of seconds.

The little fugitive got out just in time. He ran to Murdock's house of tinker toys and oddly placed Lincoln logs. "Help! Help!" he cried. "Decker is coming!" The second little fugitive quickly let him in, and locked the door.

Now the big bad Decker put on a disguise. He went to the house of tinker toys. He banged on the door. "Hello? Hello? Let me come in," he said, in a sweet voice.

"Who are you?" asked the second little fugitive.

"I am a girl scout selling cookies," said the girl scout/Decker, sweetly.

The two little fugitives looked out the window. They could see Decker's eyes underneath the non-military-issue green beret, and he'd forgotten to shave his legs for the skirt. So the second little fugitive said, "No There'll be no tossing your cookies here. I won't let you come in!"

"You leave me no choice then," said Decker, getting huffy and puffed up again. The spray of bullets splintered the tinker toy sticks like toothpicks, and the house came tumbling down.

The two little fugitives got out just in time. They ran to BA's house of bricks. "Help! Help! The big bad Decker is coming!" The third little fugitive quickly let them in, and locked the steel door.

Decker came, never one to be deterred. He shot a few bullets at the door and pulled out his megaphone. "All right, fugitives. You've got ten seconds to come out. I've got all three of you now. Then I'll get Smith!"

"You dreamin' sucka!" the third little fugitive yelled out at him. "Ain't no way we're comin' out."

"We'll see about that!" Decker huffed. "I'll blow this house to kingdom come." He emptied an entire magazine into the house barely scratching it.

The two little fugitives were afraid. But the third little fugitive said, "Don't be afraid. Decker can't blow this house in. This is a very strong house." Grabbing his own gun, the third fugitive fired a few shots out the window. He said to Decker, "Go ahead, shoot. Try to blast this house away. We're not afraid of a big bad MP!"

Well, this made Decker really mad. He switched to a larger caliber rifle, which he had affectionately named 'Mama'. Decker let loose with it. He huffed, and he puffed. Then he puffed, and huffed………puff huff huff puff. His face got red. His ears got blue. His eyes began to water. BUT……… still……… he could not blow down that house of bricks!

Now Decker was furious! He had to get those fugitives. "I know what I'll do," he said, shaking his fist. "I'll go up the side of the house--brick by brick. "Then I'll slide down through the chimney."

The three little fugitives heard him on the roof.

"He's on the roooooof!" whined fugitive number one.

"He'll come down the chimney!" said fugitive number two, wringing his ballcap nervously.

Fugitive number three said, "Don't worry. He won't be comin' down that way. Quick! Get that pot of chili simmerin' on the stove and take it outside beneath where he is." It was a very large, very hot pot of red-hot chili. BA liked his chili strong enough to eat through iron. It took both little fugitives to carry it outside. The third fugitive grabbed his gallon-size jug of cooking oil and quickly climbed up the "chimney".

The third little fugitive popped up out of the chimney-disguised gun turret. Seeing the big bad Decker approaching, he poured the cooking oil onto the roof in front of the MP. Then readied his gun, just in case. Decker's eyes bulged from their sockets when his feet started slipping in the oil. He waved his arms wildly, 'Mama' went flying, and Decker fell backwards. The third little fugitive couldn't suppress his giggle.

PLOP! Decker fell right into the pot of red-hot chili. "Help! Help!" cried big bad Decker. "I'm in hot chili!" He jumped up. He ran away from the house. He ran, and ran, and did not stop until he got to his own house. And he never came down the hill again.

Decker still lives in his house, at the top of the hill. Alone. Is it any wonder? He is still big, but he isn't so bad. He never tries to capture little fugitives anymore.

Now the three little fugitives live together in the house of bricks. Their CO, very impressed with the third little fugitive's building style, dropped by frequently. They all lived their lives in their own unique ways. Murdock's being to play and sing all day long.

"Who's afraid of the big bad Decker,

The big bad Decker, the big bad Decker?

Who's afraid of the big bad Decker?

Tra la la la la-a-a-a!"

END


Three Little Fugitives by SherryGabs

 

 


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