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Summary: BA wakes up on a plane.
Disclaimer: Copyright infringement is intended, but I mean it in the best possible way.
To: PK, because I'd rather do anything then work on that one story.
Comments: Please and thank you
A Plane Debate
The door opened with a moan and a squeak. Face was the first to jump down onto the tarmac. He jogged across the runway until he got to a warehouse. With a key he opened a padlock and then pushed back the heavy door. Inside sat BA's black van.
He unlocked the driver's door and slid behind the wheel and started the engine. It came to life with a satisfying roar. Face pulled it slowly out of the warehouse, careful not to scratch the sides against the edges of the doors, then quickly jumped out to secure the padlock.
He drove the van up close to the plane where Hannibal and Murdock were offloading their gear. Face jumped out and unlocked the rest of the van's doors.
"Uh oh!" Murdock said and scrambled out of the plane.
"I'm on a plane! You put me on a plane!" An angry BA bellowed from inside.
Hannibal jumped down onto the runway as BA charged from the interior. Hannibal calmly began sorting the gear into two piles. One pile went into the back, the other into the center section with them.
"Calm down, BA..." Hannibal started.
"Calm down? You know I don't want to be on no plane! You put me on a plane!"
"If you think about it," Face started, "the plane is the only thing that hasn't crashed on this trip," he finished calmly as he began to check the bags being moved to the back.
"True, very true." Murdock joined in.
BA only looked bewildered.
"First there was the car on the way to the boat dock." Murdock continued.
"Crashed." Face stated.
"Then there was the boat." Murdock went on.
"Capsized." Face added.
"Then the life raft." Murdock persisted.
"Sunk." Face pointed out.
"Not my fault." Murdock grumbled.
"Was too." Face responded as he began loading the bags into the back.
"Gentlemen!" Hannibal interjected.
"Then that jeep overturned." Murdock went on ignoring the interruption.
"And the motorcycle." Face added.
"The motorcycle did not crash." Hannibal put in firmly. "I laid it down and set it on fire. I did not crash it."
"Okay." Face agreed and Murdock nodded. BA was looking between the two as if at a bizarre tennis match.
"Where were we?" Murdock began to tick items off his fingers. "Car, boat, raft, jeep, motorcycle, not crashed," he added hastily, "semi."
"Hey, that semi was not crashed." BA spoke up finally.
"BA it only had three wheels on the ground." Face responded.
"Not a scratch on it." BA insisted.
"The only way to get it out of the Laundromat was with a crane." Face pointed out.
"It still wasn't crashed." BA retorted.
The three of them turned to face Hannibal.
"I'm afraid that's crashed, BA, it wasn't going to leave under it's own power."
"Okay." He said reluctantly.
"Car, boat, raft, jeep, motorcycle, semi," Murdock continued again.
"Four cars on Main Street." Face said helpfully.
"Three." Murdock corrected.
"Three." Murdock insisted.
Face put down the bag he was carrying and counted off on his fingers. "One by the library, one by the book store, one by the pizza parlor and one by the gas station."
Murdock had his eyes closed as he replayed the scene in his head. "You're right. Four."
"I think you can just add that to your first car item." Hannibal added
"True." Again Murdock counted on his fingers as the loading continued around him. "Cars, boat, raft, jeep, motorcycle, not crashed, semi,"
"Helicopter." Face helped.
Murdock nodded. "Tow truck."
"Not my fault." Face muttered lowly.
"Gentlemen!" Hannibal interrupted with a sigh.
They were done loading and each headed to their respective seats.
"So you see BA the only thing that didn't crash on this whole trip was the plane."
BA started the engine and began to pull away slowly. "It still don't make 'em safe. I don't want to be put on no plane."
Seconds later the landing gear gave out with a groan and the plane hurled itself onto its side and began to crackle and smoke.
They all looked out the front window of the van as BA maneuvered it into position just as the plane belched black smoke and burst into flames.
"'Nuff said." He growled with force and drove away.
Copyright November 2000 by Tee Fischer
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