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This page last viewed: 2017-12-16 and has been viewed 1252 times
Title: Cover my eyes...colour my world
Author: Strange Music
Slash Pairing: Murdock/Face
Rating: PG for kissing
Summary: Sometimes two people talking might still not be in a conversation. The problem is finding out about this before it is too late. Before theyboth have said their word and are ready to leave.
Date: 28. June 2000
Series/Sequel: Nope...they are happy...I am happy
Cover My Eyes…Colour My World
"What the Hell is wrong with you!!" Face screamed at the man sitting
front of him.
"Nothing is the Hell wrong with me. Just leave me alone " was the silent
But Face was not stopped. "I will leave you alone when I know what the HELL
is wrong with you. That was the third date of mine that you broke up. In
almost as many weeks!" He flung his hands in the air. "If you are that
desperate for a date, why don't you just go out and get yourself one. I am
sure there is a nice pretty girl for you as well. Just invite her over and
you do what the hell you want to do with her."
Murdock shook his head still not looking up. "I don't want some pretty girl
that goes with me for the price of a drink."
"Women, All right, pretty woman. That better?"
Eyes closed in exasperation. "You don't understand. Anything about this.
Anger blazing in his eyes Face got closer. "Well in that you are right.
Right now. I don't understand you. You said you didn't want to have my
dates come home. So they didn't. You said you didn't like them picking me
up. So we meet somewhere else. But you still make trouble!"
Out of some mystery his voice was still calmer than he felt. "You said you
would be home at six...and you called at ˝ 10. Knowing how many there are
still out there that might have a grudge against you. Knowing that I would
"We talked...time flew...I forgot...I am sorry, satisfied?"
Murdock shook his head in a grimace that that was as far from a smile as a
tear of sadness was from a tear of joy. "You don't understand."
And concluding with this he went to the door.
"I'll be gone for a few hours. Don't wait up."
And with one whole connection of anger he slammed the door behind him.
Sitting by the river as it flowed by he tried to almost completely lose
himself in it.
And just as he thought he had managed, he felt him come closer. 'What
are you doing to me Face? What the hell are you doing?' he thought,
desperately waiting for the other man to come closer. 'I can't be near
you because it hurts too much and I can't be away from you for the same
reason. 1 month you said. Just one month you would need a flat. Till you
could get back in your own. I never thought it would be so hard. And it
gets worse every time I see you with them.'
"I am sorry Murdock. I really am."
"Forget it. It's over and done. Just don't do it again." 'And now you can
"You want me to move out?"
"NOOOO!!!...I mean that is not necessary"
He felt his friend sit down at his side. "I just don't understand it. We
have been through so much together. I always knew what was going on
inside you. But now. I just don't understand you anymore. Tell me...make me
Murdock knew that the laughter that left his mouth was anything else than
'Tell him. Sure. He could tell him that he was in love with him. And then
what. Speed the time that it would take him to run away. Remember the
horror that would cross his handsome features. No not really.'
"Please I want to understand you. It hurts me to see you hurt and not
know the reason."
"Look Face. I can't. I wish I could. Believe me I do. But I can't."
"Is it a woman?"
"For GOD'S sake Face. Not everything in life starts and ends with a
It was so sudden that he couldn't hide his surprise.
Face eyes narrowed, confused. "It is!"
"Yes...but..." The eyes that watched him were big. "Listen just forget
But like a Pitbull, Face didn't leave it that easily.
"Is it someone I know.? Maybe I can arrange something."
The whole concept seemed so unreal, that it seemed like a dream.
"Yes Face it is someone you know. It is *you*! *You* that I want. And you
know what, *not* as a friend. I want to kiss you and make love to you. Can
you *arrange* that."
SHIT! He closed his eyes. And before anything else could be said he ran
away. He felt Face follow him. But he knew his words. Knew what he would
say. So he didn't stop.
And not before long he was alone again.
Three days later he felt safe enough to return to the flat. He was sure that
this time should have been enough to give Face the time to leave. He didn't
really have that much to pack.
However what he didn't expect was Face sitting on the couch as if waiting
for him. He wasn't sure if a spoken goodbye was so much better than a
He searched for words...but for the first time in many years he couldn't
"Why didn't you tell me?" Face whispered
"And lose you? That way I at least had a bit of you." He sat on the
couch opposite him.
"NO matter what happens. There is nothing you can say that would make you
"But I can't change the way I feel about you. I wish I could. Our life is
complicated enough without all this. I mean I though it would go away with
time. It just hasn't happened yet. Maybe if you give me a few months
more." He turned his back. "Don't worry. I won't bother you."
His eyes closed holding back the pain. There were no longer any tears to
be cried. Too many had been spent in his life so far.
Sitting like that he waited for the door to close.
But something else happened.
Arms closed around him. First a loose hug then close. A hand slipped up his
"Open your eyes Murdock."
"I can't...If I open them I will wake up and everything will just be a
"I am no dream."
"But you will be. You can't be real."
"But I am."
Slowly, not knowing why, he listened and opened his eyes. He saw Face so
close that he felt his breath blowing along his nose. So much love in his
'God if this is a dream. Please don't let me wake up yet. Just a few more
moments. Give me those. You have taken so much of me. I never asked why.
Please, just this time."'
"Why didn't you tell me?" Face asked.
"Because I knew you didn't feel that way."
"Did you? Are you so sure? Maybe I just thought the same. And waited for
you because I wasn't sure myself."
For the second time Murdock didn't know what to say.
And so he did nothing when Face leaned forward and with one tender move
kissed his lips.
Had he thought he had no tears left, he was proven wrong at this moment.
The relief just was too strong, too big. As if his life suddenly had
found the rainbow, after such a long time in the rain.
Face held him while he wept . Whispering soft words as he stroked through
"I love you Murdock."
So much time.
So much pain.
It wasn't worth it. But it was worth everything.
"I love you too Face*.*" he whispered into the arms that still held him
And suddenly he knew that he had found his pot of gold.
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