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Alone Alone
By: Sara V.


Summary: Emotional story, mainly about Murdock. He is the last
remaining member of the A-team and he must cope with losing them.
Warnings: Major characters die, Mentions of past suicide attempts,
Billy sightings.
Rating: Probably PG-13
Comments: Sure, just be nice, this was the first story I ever wrote.
Send comments to auntbooroonies@go.com .
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it probably ain't mine. If it is mine
ask before you use it. I don't make any money (not here, not anywhere).
If you want to archive ask and I will send it to you. Thank you.

 

    In a high security psychiatric ward in LA, two doctors look down
from an observation booth onto a stark, white room. The only furniture in
the room is a metal bed with padding covering it. The bed is bolted two
the floor and the thin mattress is firmly attached to the frame so the
occupant of the room won't attempt to smother himself again. In the
corner of the room is a man.

*********************************
    He sits with his back to the corner and his long legs drawn up in
front of him. His shaggy, thinning hair covers his face as he rests his
head on his knees. Yes, his once- brown hair, now almost as white as...
whose?
    So hard to think. That's why his hair was white, from the stress of
holding together, holding on... to what? Oh! Reality, that was it, or
was it from all those close shaves when he was with... his friends? Yes,
what were those names...?
    A small whimper broke through his reverie. The pilot raised his
head to look at the dog sitting in front of him. His brown eyes were
bloodshot and haunted by demons he held at bay with visible, physical effort
as he struggled to see the outside world again (it got harder every
time).
    "Hello Billy," Murdock said when he finally managed to get control,
his voice was hoarse from disuse. The  little dog wagged his tail and
gave a small yip of excitement, pleased at the attention from his
master. "You better be quiet Billy, they don't allow dogs in here." (he
really wasn't quite sure where "here" was, but he knew they probably didn't
allow dogs).
 
********************************
    From the observation area the two doctors watched the captain raise
his head and say something to someone only he could see.
 
********************************
    Murdock felt Billy rub up against him wanting to be petted. Murdock
would have been glad to oblige, but its hard to pet a dog when your
wearing a straight-jacket. Billy had to settle for curling up at his feet.
    Hmmm.... There was something nagging at him, something about Billy?
Yes, he had sent Billy to go with... Hanibal (that was one of his
friends) when he left....
 
********************************
    Murdock entered the room and stood waiting to be acknowledged so he
could come closer.
    "At ease Captain, we're not in the army anymore." came a cracked
wheeze from the bed.
    Murdock hadn't realized he was standing at attention. He forced
himself to relax and walked over to the bed.
    "Hey Colonel. Uh... the house looks nice." Murdock blurted for lack
of anything better to say.
    "Tell Maggie, she does the decorating." Hanibal laughed which
started a fit of coughing as he fought to fill his lungs with air.
    "I guess all those cigars finally caught up with me, huh." he
wheezed.
    "I guess so," Murdock conceded.
    After a pause Murdock spoke up,"Sir." He couldn't seem to get away
from the military titles.
    "Yes Captain."
    "I want you to take Billy with you when you go." he said in a rush.
"He'll watch out for you, make sure you settle in okay."
    "Are you sure Murdock? I know how much Billy means to you." at a
nod from the pilot, Hanibal continued,"Okay, if it makes you feel better
I'll take Billy, but you better let him out for his walk now, don't
want him to have to go during the trip."
    "Yes sir." He whistled and took Billy for his walk. The others
would be here soon. Face, BA, Amy, Tawnia, and even Frankie, had dropped
everything (just as Murdock had when Maggie called) and were headed here
as fast as they could come. Maggie had gone to pick up Face, BA, and
Amy at the airport and would be back around midnight. Frankie was driving
down from where he'd been working on a film, he'd be here by one.
Tawnia was flying back from where she had been on assignment and would
arrive in the morning.
    As Murdock returned with Billy and sat down Hanibal turned his head
towards him. "Murdock, can I ask you something?"
    "Anything Colonel."
    "What's your first name?"
    Murdock just stared for a moment, then he leaned down and whispered
in Hanibal's ear. Hanibal made a face.
    "I can't blame you for not telling anyone before." Hanibal
said,"Thank you."
    They were silent then. Hanibal fell asleep and sometime during that
sleep he just slipped away.
    When the others arrived, Murdock was still sitting where he had
been as he watched his friend, and father-figure, die. He wasn't moving or
crying. He was just sitting. the others tried to make him respond, but
they couldn't reach him.
    Finally, Face stepped up to him and put on his best military
posture.
    "Captain, Report!" he barked.
    After a moment, Murdock blinked and looked around for a second.
Then, he saw Face and remembered where he was. He looked over at the still
form of Hanibal, then he smiled.
    "Its okay, I sent Billy with him to take care of him." the pilot
said softly.
    With that, he turned and left the room. Then he left the house. He
got as far as the garden before the scream burst from his throat.

******************************
    "Captain Murdock! Be quiet, you're disturbing the other patients!"
yelled the nurse from outside his door.
    "Sorry." he mumbled.
    He hadn't known he was screaming again.
    He looked at Billy again. Billy had come back not long before they
put him in here. He had said something about Hanibal telling him he was
needed here.
    The captain smiled, Hanibal had always believed that his men came
first.

*******************************
    The doctors watched Murdock scream and, a moment later, saw him
smile.
    "I wonder what's going on in his head." remarked one.

*******************************
    The pilot put his head down again. A face swam before his eyes, a
man, big and dark, with an angry look on his face and a lot of gold
chains around his neck.... BA! That was it, BA Baracas!
    Then the memories flooded in...

*******************************
    Murdock sat in the waiting room with Face. Neither spoke.
    When they'd received the call from BA's wife they had come as
quickly as possible. He'd been shot five times and still had managed to
knock out the gang member who had shot at one of the kids at his daycare
center. The little girl would be fine no one could say if BA would make
it.
    "Excuse me, you can see him now. He's in the ICU." said a crisp,
official-looking nurse.
    They rose and walked down the hall to BA's room. His wife was
there. She was a small woman who had always given Murdock the impression of
a sparrow. She looked as though she'd been crying, but now there were
no tears left.
    After she told them what she knew of BA's condition (it wasn't
good), they sat and reminisced the big, gruff, teddy bear who was their
friend.
    BA died at 3:10 in the morning, while his wife and friends looked
on.

******************************
    Billy whined and Murdock looked up.
    "S'allright Billy, I'm just thinkin'."
    He was thinking of Face. Face had held him together as, first
Hanibal, and then BA, were pulled away from him. But then he was gone too...

********************************
    Face pulled up in front of the VA and let Murdock out. He was an
outpatient but had to come for weekly sessions with Dr. Richter. He had
to work through the grief of losing his friends.
    "I'll be back in two hours to pick you up." Face flashed Murdock a
smile and added, "Be good!"
    Murdock rolled his eyes and waved as the vette rolled away. Then,
he turned and went inside.
    About halfway through his session, a nurse came in and gave Dr.
Richter a note. The doctor's frown deepened as he read the message.
    'This is to inform a Mr. H.M. Murdock, that Templeton Peck was the
victim of a hit and run. He sustained serious injuries and was rushed
to the hospital where he was pronounced DOA.'
    Dr. Richter cleared his throat.
    "Captain, I'm afraid I have some bad news."
 
********************************
    "No! No! No!" the sound of someone yelling (himself? Yes, it was)
brought him back to the present.
    He wept then as he remembered how he'd lost control. Face had been
his anchor to reality and, when he'd lost his anchor, he'd been swept
away.
 
*******************************
    They'd put him back in the VA and then, after his fifth suicide
attempt (he nearly succeeded that time), they'd put him in here.
    He still had managed four more attempts on his own life before they
quit letting him out of his straight-jacket unsupervised. Then, he
still made one attempt to smother himself under the mattress, but they put
a stop to that.
    He knew it was wrong to want to die, but he was just so tired of
being alone.
    He put his head back down. Hmm, tired, yes he was tired.

*********************************
    "Captain, I'm surprised at you." a voice berated him.
    "Really Murdock, I would have thought better of you. Didn't you
learn anything from us?" said another voice.
    "Crazy fool don't understand nuthin'. Thinks he's alone." said
another, more gruff, angry voice.
    "But guys, I don't know what else to do." Murdock cried out in his
own defense.
    "That's why we're here. Alright, here's the plan." Hanibal said.
Then he began to speak softly.
 
*********************************
    A while later Murdock sat thinking. Alone again. No, not alone, he
knew now, he was never alone.
    The Colonel's plan was good. It sounded pretty simple, get himself
released, but Murdock knew it was more complicated than that. First,
he'd have to stop trying to commit suicide. Then, he'd start to gradually
change his behavior. He'd have to be careful or Richter would get
suspicious. Eventually, they'd realize he was better and they'd release him.
    Then he'd find his friends' families, and he'd find Amy, Tawnia,
and Frankie. All the people from his past, they could be his anchors now.
Maybe he'd even look up some old clients and see how they were.

*********************************
    Thirteen years later...
    Murdock stood dressed in his favorite clothes, with his leather
jacket over one arm and his navy blue baseball cap on his head. He held a
suitcase in his right hand and his release papers in his left.
    Billy trotted beside him as he left the VA for the last time. He
was supposed to be an outpatient, but he'd left Dr. Richter a letter. It
explained that this was his new life and he couldn't stand to come back
every week. It also told them not to worry, he'd be in touch to let
everyone know he was okay.

***********************************
    Five years later...
    He died in his sleep.
 
************************************
    A black van with red detailing pulled up to the cemetery. Everyone
was there to mourn the passing of their friend. Amy, Tawnia, Frankie,
Maggie, BA's wife and kids, and Face's sister, his wife, and his
daughters. Nearly everyone was crying.
    It was a small service and afterward everyone hung around
remembering the four men who now lay side by side in the corner of the small
churchyard. No one wanted to leave, knowing when they did, the end of the
A-team would be complete.
    Amy stood in front of the gravestones and read the epitaphs.
        Colonel John "Hanibal" Smith
        "I love it when a plan comes together."

        Sargent Bosco "BA" Baracas
        Body of stone, Heart of gold

        Richard Bancroft aka Lieutenant Templeton
           "Faceman" Peck
        "May you be forever on the jazz."
                        And
        Captain H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock
        World's greatest pilot, and most loyal friend

    Amy snapped off a polaroid of the graves and the small monument
behind them. Then, she walked around to read the simple inscription at the
foot of the statue.
                To the A-team
                John Smith
                Richard Bancroft
                Bosco Baracas
                    and
                H.M. Murdock
    Unsung heroes, once wanted, now forgiven, never forgotten.

    Amy glanced at the picture she held in her hand. then she rubbed
her eyes and looked again. There, in the background, were the shadowy
forms of four men. They were walking away. A little dog trailed after
them.
    "So long guys. I'll miss you." Amy said softly.
    She placed the photo on the ground and turned and walked to the van
where the others were waiting.
    As they drove off they heard a familiar voice taunting, "See BA, I
told you Billy was real."
    And they heard the response, "Shutup fool!"
                         The End
 
 


Alone by Sara V.