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Gone

By Jullian Gray

 

Rating NC-17

Warning: Come on people it’s me!!  Slash H/F, F/B, F/H/B, sex language, death of a team member

Summary: Two of the team members are gone, and one is fading fast

Special thanks to HannibalFan’52 for all her help.

 

**********

 

“Something wrong, Hannibal!” B.A. yelled into the back of the van.

Hannibal moved from where he was sitting in the back to the front seat beside B.A.

“This ain’t good, man,” B.A. stated as he watched an old tan Buick pull up in front of the warehouse where Hannibal had just sent Face.

“What the hell are they doing here? They were supposed to be gone for hours.”

“I don’t know, but it ain’t good,” B.A. repeated

A few minutes later, both men watched in horror as Face’s limp body was thrown into the back of the Buick.

“This ain’t good,” B.A. repeated again as he put the van into gear before Hannibal could order him to do it.

“Follow them,” Hannibal ordered, but B.A. was already moving the van behind the Buick.  He kept back at a safe distance, but it soon became obvious that they had been spotted when the car began to weave in and out of traffic.

“Don’t let them out of your sight, Sergeant,” Hannibal ordered, though he knew that B.A. would never let the car go with Face in the back of it.

“Hannibal, they trying to get onto the Interstate,” B.A. growled as he watched the car speed toward the on -ramp. “If they get on, I might lose them.”

“Damn,” Hannibal watched the car gain more speed. “Don’t let them on the ramp.”

“He could get hurt if I hit the car.” B.A. looked over at Hannibal, his brown eyes full of concern.

“If you don’t, he could end up dead,” Hannibal countered, trying to hide his own worry.

B.A. nodded and hit the accelerator on the van.  In a matter of seconds, the van was right behind the Buick. B.A. worked hard to get the van beside the car; he tried to get in front of it, but the other driver wouldn’t yield. The driver of the Buick jerked hard on the wheel, and crashed the car into the side of the van. To keep from going into the car bedside him, B.A. was forced to slam the van back into the Buick. Both Hannibal and B.A. watched in horror as the driver of the Buick lost control and the car flipped end over end until it came to rest on its top.  

B.A. quickly whipped the van over to the side of the road, and Hannibal was out of the van before it came to a complete stop. As soon as the van was in park, B.A. followed, racing across the field as fast as he could.

Hannibal was the first to reach the wrecked Buick.  Any other time, he would have checked on the passengers in the car, but this time he didn’t care. He noted that the trunk was dented, but did not have any major damage done to it.  He examined the lock, then went back to the driver’s side of the car. Reaching inside, Hannibal grabbed the keys out of the ignition before moving back to the trunk. B.A. reached the car the same time Hannibal put the key in the lock.

“Be ready to catch him when I open this.”

B.A. nodded as he positioned himself so he could catch their Lieutenant when the trunk was opened.  Hannibal turned the key in the lock, and the trunk popped. If B.A. hadn’t been ready Face would have fallen to the ground, since he was lying on the trunk lid inside the upside-down car.

“Oh, man,” B.A. muttered as he gently lowered Face's bloody and battered body to the ground. “Please be breathing, please!” Carefully and with shaking hands, B.A. laid one of his hands on Face’s chest.  He leaned over and listened to the raspy sounds that were coming from the blonde’s lungs, while his other hand felt for a pulse.  

“He’s breathing,” B.A. looked up at Hannibal with tear-filled eyes, “and he’s got a steady pulse, but it’s getting weak.”

“He’s going to be all right, BA.” Hannibal ran his gloved fingers through the blood-stained blonde hair. “I promise you he’s going to be all right.”

Looking around, Hannibal noted that there were several cars starting to pull over and people were getting out. It wouldn’t be long before the police were called, and they would be in a real mess.

“We need to get moving.” Bending down, Hannibal picked Face up into his arms and started to carry him toward the van. As they got closer, several people moved to meet them.

“This man is critical; we’re taking him to the ER.  There are two men still in the car who need help,” Hannibal explained as he continued to move Face toward the van, not bothering to slow down to answer any questions.

As soon as Hannibal and Face were in the back of the van, B.A. slammed the door and got into the driver’s seat. He put the van in gear, and sped off toward the freeway, not knowing where they were headed yet, but determined to get them out of there before the police arrived.

Once they were on the expressway, B.A. glanced in the rearview mirror.

How’s he doing?”

 

Hannibal didn’t bother looking up as he continued to check Face over, assessing the abrasions and lacerations.

“Some of the wounds are going to need stitches.  He’s got a hell of a bump on the back of his head and his temple. His right shoulder is dislocated.  Right wrist might be fractured, and there is one hell of a nasty bruise around it. Looks like they might have twisted it up behind his back.  He’s got three broken ribs on the right, two on the left side.  His right ankle is twisted, but it doesn’t seem to be broken. Looks like the bastards worked him over before they threw him in the trunk by all the bruises he has.  Then add the wreck on the top of it...” Hannibal sighed as he rummaged through the medical kit to find more gauze. “We’re going to be hearing him whine for months.”

B.A. let out a breath that he had been holding.  If Hannibal promised that Face was going to whine, then he would be alright.

He can whine and cry all he wants, B.A. thought as he remembered how Face looked when he fell out of the trunk. “Want me to head toward the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Hannibal said softly as he soothed the blonde hair out of Face’s eyes before leaning over to lay a gentle kiss on the younger man’s forehead. “I want them to check him over for internal injuries, and see if I missed anything.”

**********

The sun was just starting to come up the next morning when Hannibal and B.A. quickly and quietly loaded Face into the back of the van. B.A. was extra careful of the IV line the ER doctors had inserted shortly after Face’s arrival.

Soon after they arrived home Hannibal removed the IV, both men bathed the younger man, redressed his wounds, double-checked his stitches, and made sure he was resting in the middle of the king-sized bed in the master bedroom - Hannibal on one side of him, and B.A. on the other.

*****  

Face struggled through the black fog that seemed to collect in every corner of his mind as he fought to regain consciousness.

The first thing that he realized was that he was pinned and couldn’t move. Instincts and training quickly began to kick in, and he started to struggle to break free of the men who were holding him down.

*****

“He’s coming to, Hannibal.”  B.A. moved so that he could see the younger man twitching and twisting in his arms.

“About time,” Hannibal sighed in relief as he moved closer to Face; one arm going to lie over the top of the younger man’s hip, while the other moved to wipe the sweat-soaked hair from his eyes. “I was starting to worry.”

It had been almost six hours since they had laid Face down in their bed; six long hours that the two men had watched over him like hawks, hoping that there was no serious head injury that the ER had missed.

“You ain't the only one,” BA mumbled as he hugged Face tighter to his body, kissing the blonde on the back of the neck.

“No,” Face mumbled as he struggled to wake. “Please, stop.”

Being careful not to smash Face, B.A. and Hannibal secured the younger man tighter between them, each man pinning arms and legs.

“Please stop!” Face moaned again as he pulled against them, then whimpered when he pushed against his wounded wrist and shoulder.

“Be still, Face; you're safe,” Hannibal said softly as he moved forward to kiss his lover.

“Ain't no one going to hurt you, angel,” BA whispered in the blonde’s ear. “Won’t let no one hurt you.”

Face quieted down and quit struggling against them as his subconscious mind recognized their voices.

“I need you to open your eyes sweetheart,” Hannibal commanded, still keeping his voice soft and gentle as he reached out and stroked Face’s hair. At first Face’s eyes just fluttered, but soon they opened.

“Hannibal?” The voice was raspy, but it was music to Hannibal and B.A.’s ears.

“Right here, baby,” Hannibal kissed him.

Where’s B.A.?”

“Right here.” B.A. leaned forward and kissed the younger man’s cheek. “How you feeling, angel?"

“Like I do after most of Hannibal’s plans.” Face smiled as he watched Hannibal frown at him before moving off the bed.

“That bad, huh?” BA chuckled as he turned Face toward him.

“Feeling better now, though,” Face sighed as he sank down into B.A.’s warmth and strength.

“Good.” BA nodded as he ran a finger down Face’s cheek. “I was worried about you.”

“You should know by now you can’t keep me down.” Face offered a faint smile, but B.A. could tell that he was hurting.

“Well, I have news for you, kid.  Down and in this bed is where you are going to stay for a while. You have a lot of healing to do.”

Face jumped when he felt a slight sting in his arm. He turned to see Hannibal pulling the needle out.

“You didn’t need to do that.” Face glared at his older lover.

“Yes, I did.” Hannibal smiled softly as he rubbed the injection site to sooth it. “You need to rest, and there is no reason that you should be in pain, and we both know you won’t do it on your own.”

“Yeah, you too darn stubborn for your own good,” B.A. agreed as he gently kissed Face again.

“Am not,” Face yawned.  As he turned back on his side facing Hannibal, the Colonel gave him another gentle kiss.

“Close your eyes, kid”

“Stay with me John,”

“I’m not going anywhere, kid;” Hannibal whispered softly as he continued to stroke Face’s hair, soothing it out of his young lover’s eyes. “Now stop fighting the meds.”

“Hold me, John, please. Need you close to me,” Face whispered as he fought against medication.

 Hannibal pulled his lover to his body. “What did I just tell you kid? Didn’t I just say that I’m not going anywhere?” Face nodded as he rested his head on Hannibal’s shoulder and moved to wrap his arm around the older man’s chest.

“Go to sleep, Tem,” Hannibal whispered into the soft blond hair. “I’ve got you.”

Face closed his eyes a second later as he felt Hannibal stroking his hair, while B.A. rubbed his back. Within a matter of a few short minutes, he was sound asleep.

B.A. continued to stare at Face as he rubbed his back. He was lucky to have the blonde in his life and he knew it.  They had been friends for years, but if it hadn’t been for a freak accident, he might never had the chance to have Face as his lover. He knew that Hannibal was still unsure of the relationship that the three of them had developed, but he was at least trying to work out his emotions.

BA nestled in behind Face, his hand on the younger man’s hip.  It had been a hard two years, a time that he wasn’t entirely sure that they would survive…

**********

A little over two years earlier

“Face, time to go.”

“I can’t leave him here!” Face cried his voice rough with emotion and choked with tears.

“They wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself, little brother.” B.A. stepped closer to the smaller man, who was kneeling in the mud in front of the fresh grave of his commander, friend, and lover.

It had been the hardest week of his life.  First, the plane Hannibal and Murdock had been on had gone missing. Though the plane and its passengers were never found, the authorities had stopped looking and presumed that there had been no survivors.

When the authorities called off the search, Face had refused to give up, and insisted that they were still alive.  But when another month passed and they still hadn't found any sign of their missing teammates, B.A. decided that it was time to move on.

First, there had been Murdock’s funeral in Texas so he could be laid to rest with his family, though it had been little more of a memorial since there was no body. It had been hard for both of them to pronounce their friend and teammate dead, yet they had managed to get through it. But now it was time to have Hannibal’s memorial, and B.A. wasn’t sure that Face would survive it.

As he stood behind Face at the side of the empty grave, B.A. still couldn’t help but think that if the fool had been flying, the two would still be alive. Instead, they had taken a commercial flight since the crazy man had just had his medication switched.  Now they were gone, and Face was falling apart.

The service had been short due to the pouring rain and the fact that the team was still wanted by the government. The few people who had attended had all left over half an hour ago, leaving just the two of them standing in the cold October rain beside the grave, while his mother stood off to one side, giving them a little time alone.

“Come on, Face; we need to leave.”

Face didn’t move.  He didn’t care anymore.  Nothing mattered.  John was dead, and he just didn’t give a damn about anything.

“Let’s go.” B.A. reached for the kneeling man, grabbing him by the shoulder.

“Get off me!” Face screamed as he shoved the Sergeant away from him. “I won’t leave him.”

“He’s not here, little bro.  All we’re burying is an empty box.” B.A. still didn’t understand why Face had insisted on a coffin for Murdock and Hannibal, but he had, and at the time B.A. had gone along with it just to appease Face and not upset him further. But now as he watched Face kneeling in the mud, soaked to the bone in his dress uniform, B.A. wasn’t so sure that it had been a good idea.

B.A. shook his head.  He knew Face was going to have a hard time dealing with the loss of Hannibal and Murdock, but he had never expected this.  Over the last few days, Face had virtually stopped eating.  If it hadn’t been for his mother coming out from Chicago to be with them, he wasn’t sure if Face would have eaten at all.

Momma was the only one who could get him to respond.  If she told him to eat, he would eat. If she told him to sleep, he would sleep. If he was left on his own, he wouldn’t do anything but sit and stare out the window. Since Murdock’s funeral, he'd hardly spoken more than a few dozen words.

Seeing that B.A. was having trouble with Face, Mrs. Baracus moved to stand beside her youngest boy.  Reaching down, she gently touched his shoulder.

“Templeton, come on, honey. We need to leave. You’re going to get sick if you stay out here.”

Face looked up at Mrs. B.  tears streamed from his blue-green eyes, mixing with the pouring rain. Pain and anguish were plainly written across his handsome face.

“I don’t care,” he whispered; his voice barely audible above the howling wind.

“Hannibal would care,” Mrs. Baracus stated softly as she ran her hand over his soaking wet hair.

“God, stop, please...” Face cried as he buried his face in his hands. “I can’t go on without him …”

“Come on, little brother; we’re going home.”

Face shook his head violently as he rocked back and forth, his arms wrapped around his stomach as if it hurt.

“I’m not leaving him.”

“I ain’t takin' no for an answer.” BA laid his hand on the younger man’s shoulder and tried to pull him up.

“You can go to hell, Baracus, because I’m not leaving him here alone!” Face snarled. “Now let me go!”

B.A. sighed as he looked down at his Lieutenant.  His normally perfect blonde hair was plastered to his head, his dress uniform covered in mud, his tan face now pale, normally bright blue-green eyes were bloodshot, puffy. Now, worst of all, there was a hard, cold look growing in his friend’s eyes, a sure sign that there was about to be a fight if he didn’t act quickly.

“Forgive me, Hannibal,” B.A. whispered softly as he punched the blonde in the jaw, knocking him unconscious. Gently, he lifted the smaller man off the ground and cradled him to his chest.

“Scooter, was that really necessary?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Poor thing.” Mrs. B watched as her son carried the limp figure of Templeton Peck to the van. “Don’t think I have ever seen him like this.”

“Neither have I, Momma,” BA lied to his mother. If he thought back he could remember how bad Face had been when they were in the camps. He had prayed to God that he would never see the younger man like that again, but as he watched Face over the last few days, it was becoming clear that Face was losing his hold on reality.

A short time later they arrived back at the house that Face had shared with Hannibal.

B.A. had thought about going back to his apartment, but remembered how badly Face had reacted when they had come back from Texas and not gone straight to the younger man’s home.

***

“I want to go home,” Face stated as B.A. drove into the city toward the Sergeant’s apartment.

“You don’t need to be alone right now.” BA glanced over at his friend as he drove though the downtown traffic.

“I want to go home,” Face repeated.

“And I done told you that you…”

Without saying a word, Face jerked the door open and was about to step out of the moving van. B.A. just managed to grab hold of Face before the younger man could step out. BA continued to struggle with Face while he maneuvered the van to the side of the road.

“What is your problem?” BA growled as he jerked Face hard, keeping the younger man in the van.

“I told you I wanted to go home, and I mean my home, not yours.”

“Just don’t think it’s good for you to be alone right now.”

“Then stay at my house,” Face shoved BA off him, “because that's where I’ll be.”

“All right,” B.A. sighed as he realized that he wouldn’t win this fight.

The rest of the ride was spent in total silence.  When they arrived at the beach house, Face had gone straight to his room and closed the door behind him.  A few minutes later, B.A. heard him sobbing. When he had gone in to check on Face, he found him asleep on the bed, wrapped around Hannibal’s pillows, with one of the Colonel’s shirts clutched tightly in his hands. That night, he had called his mother to help him.

***

“Do you need any help with him, Scooter?”  Mrs. Baracus asked as she unlocked the front door to Face’s house.

“No, ma’am; I’ve got him.”

“If you need any help, call me. I’ll go fix us some supper.” She reached down to stroke the damp hair out of the blonde’s face. “Bosco?”

“Yes, Momma?”

“He’s hurting bad right now, but you just give him time to grieve and he’ll start feeling better.” She smiled at him knowingly. “You remember how hard it was when your father died.”

“Yes, ma’am.” BA nodded.  He remembered how bad it hurt, but he really wasn’t sure if Face could get over Hannibal. Everyone thought that Hannibal was just a father figure to Face, but B.A. knew that he was so much more.

Gently, B.A. laid Face down on the bed before going into the master bathroom and returning with several thick cotton towels. After several minutes, he had the smaller man stripped naked and thoroughly dried. Going to one of the drawers, BA pulled out a pair of thick cotton pajamas.  He quickly dressed Face and tucked him in under the blankets.

Sitting on the side of the bed, he looked at the bruise that was forming on Face’s jaw. Reaching out, he touched the bruise, his heart filling with regret for resorting to physical violence against the smaller man.

“I’m sorry, little brother.” Trailing his fingers upward, he ran them across Face’s cheek, then on up 'til it was in the blonde hair.  Soon he found himself stroking it.  “I know I ain’t Hannibal, but I promise I’ll try and take care of you the best I can.” Bending over, he kissed Face’s forehead.  When he sat up, Face was staring at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

“I can’t love anyone else,” Face whispered. “He was my life, B.A.” The tears were now beginning to fall, running down the pale cheeks.

“It’s going to be all right,” B.A. whispered as he continued to stroke Face’s hair.

“I feel so lost.” Face began to pull himself into a ball, but stopped when he felt a pair of strong arms go around him.

“I’m here for you, Face.” BA pulled his Lieutenant into his arms, holding him tight to his chest, rocking him back and forth. “I’ll always be here for you.”

*****

Mrs. B. looked at the clock on the wall.  She’d had their dinner finished for some time, but had given the two men the space that she felt they needed.  Now, as she looked at the rapidly-cooling meal, she decided that she needed check on them. She knocked softly on the door, and when she didn’t get an answer, she opened it. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light, but when they did, she smiled softly at the sight in front of her.

Face was sleeping in B.A.’s arms, her son’s head resting the blonde’s head, his eyes closed, and his breathing slow and steady. Without one word, she turned and left the two of them to sleep.

*****

B.A. sat back in his chair and watched Face, who was sitting on the couch, staring out the window, chewing on his thumbnail. Over the last few weeks, the younger man had walked around on what B.A. could only call auto-pilot.  He would eat when he was told to eat, sleep when he was told to sleep, but otherwise he would do little more than sit and stare at the ocean.

B.A. turned to look at his mother as she walked into the room and noted that her eyes were on Face.

“Templeton, would you like to go outside and take a walk with me?” Mrs. B. asked as she came into the room carrying her jacket. “It’s a beautiful day to be outside.”

The only answer that she got was a slight shake of the blonde head.

“Is there anything that you would like to do, Momma?” BA asked from his seat. “We could go to the park, or have a picnic.”

“I really don’t have any plans, Scooter. I just thought I would spend it with my boys,” she said as she walked over to B.A. and squeezed his shoulder. “Is there something that you would like to do, Templeton?”

Again, the only answer he got was a slight shake of Face’s head.

“There has to be something you want to do.”

Face gave a soft response, but Mrs. B couldn’t make it out. “I’m sorry, honey; what did you say?” she asked as she moved closer to him.

“Die,” Face whispered again, eyes never leaving the ocean.

“You can’t mean that, baby.” Mrs. Baracus knelt down next to the young man. “You know Hannibal would want you to keep on going. What would he say if he knew that you were talking like this?”

Face turned to look at her, and she noticed just how much life had left his eyes since the night before.

“Doesn’t matter what he would say, because he’s gone,” Face choked out before turning to look back at the ocean.

“Templeton….”

“Just leave me alone, please,” Face whispered as he stood up. “Both of you, please just leave me alone.” Without another word, Face left the house. B.A. moved to stand beside his mother, and the two of them watched as the younger man made his way down toward the water’s edge. Face made it halfway down the beach before he collapsed in the sand. Both mother and son could tell by the way his shoulders were shaking that he was crying again.

***

Face knew that B.A. and his mother were trying to help him, but he didn’t want their help.  In fact, he didn’t want anyone’s help.  All he wanted to do was to be left alone to die. Truth been known if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Baracus, he would have eaten a bullet right after Hannibal’s funeral service. Never before in his life had he ever felt this alone or lost.

 He had been doing a pretty good job of blocking out everything around him until Mrs. B. had pointed out that Hannibal would have wanted him to go on with his life. The pain that the one little statement caused was almost unbearable to him.  Ever since Templeton Peck had meet Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith, he had done everything in his power to please the older man.  The one thing that he could not stand was to see disappointment in the older man’s eyes whenever he screwed up. And he knew that if he took his own life that would be a hell of a disappointment to his dead lover.

“Why, Hannibal?” Face looked out at the ocean. “Why did you leave me?”  

Face pulled his knees to his chest, rested his head on top and began to sob.

***

BA watched from his place on the sofa as the sun began to set, and Face still hadn’t moved from his spot in the sand. He was sure the younger man was burned from spending the day out in the sun, but he didn’t know what to do.  He knew he could yell, threaten, and even beg, but nothing he did would change things. BA looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Go bring him in, Scooter; dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Yes, Momma,” BA stood up and had just started to go outside when Face rose to his feet. He began to walk towards the water then ran into the surf.

***

As the day went by, Face began to feel the weight of his depression pressing down on him. He wanted to do what Hannibal would want, but the thought of going through the rest of his life without his lover was too much. Getting to his feet, he started walking towards the surf.  As soon as his feet hit the water, Face began to run; when the water was waist-deep, he pushed himself harder, fighting the waves. When the water was to his shoulders, Face began to swim; he pushed himself harder than he had in weeks. His muscles screamed in protest as he fought against the waves that pushed him back towards the shore. After twenty minutes, he was a half-mile out and completely exhausted. He turned to look back at the shore.  He could see B.A. wading out into the water after him, but he knew that the big man would never reach him in time if he decided to do what he was thinking.

Face turned back towards the open ocean and pushed his exhausted body farther.  It wasn’t long before he simply couldn’t go any more, no matter how hard he tried.  He started to tread water and waited for his body to give in to exhaustion.  After a few moments, he closed his eyes and simply stopped moving. As his head slipped under the water, he began to let go of all his pain.  He could feel his mind letting go, and as the darkness started to overtake him, he felt like a burden was being lifted from his shoulders.

***

B.A. swam as hard as he could towards Face.  He knew that the smaller man was not in the best physical condition and he wouldn’t last long in the open ocean. When he saw Face stop and turn to look at him, he prayed that the blonde would come to his senses and swim back towards him, but when Face turned and headed farther out into the sea, he knew he had to catch up with him fast. Pushing himself as hard as he could, B.A. began to gain on Face.  He sighed in relief when Face stopped again, then panicked when Face went under.

***

Face was finally at peace.  His world was starting to narrow down to a single sliver of light as it shone through the ocean above him. He was just about to let the last of the air out of his lungs when he saw an image above him and a voice filled his head.

“Don’t do it, Lieutenant!” it demanded, and then the voice became soft and gentle. “Live for me, Tem; live for me, baby.”

Face shook his head.  He wanted to ignore the command and the plea, but he couldn’t.  He never had been able to, and he knew that he never would. Pushing upward, he gasped for breath as his head broke the water. He still wasn’t sure how he had managed to get to the surface, but now he was out deep in the ocean, and he knew that he didn’t have the strength to get back to shore. With Hannibal’s voice still echoing through his tired brain, Face started to swim back towards shore.

***

B.A. swam as fast as he could to the spot where he had last seen Face before he had slipped under, but he knew that the odds on finding the younger man would be a million to one.  There were just so many places that he could be, and with Face under the water, he knew that he would never find him.

B.A. continued to swim forward for a few more minutes before he stopped and started to tread water.  He couldn’t believe this was happening!  First Hannibal and Murdock, and now Face.  B.A. hit that water in anger.  This couldn’t be happening! The whole team gone; everyone gone.

After what seemed like an eternity, B.A. had started to turn back to shore when a voice made him stop.

“Don’t give up on him!  Don’t ever give up on him.”

BA turned to see who might have spoken just as Face suddenly emerged not far from him, gasping for breath. Face stayed at the surface for a few minutes, just treading water, before he began to swim back towards the shore line.

“Face!” B.A. yelled, and was glad to see the younger man turn to look at him. Face stopped to tread water while he caught up to him, and B.A. could tell that the smaller man was struggling to keep afloat.  “Can you make it to shore?”

Face nodded as he started to swim again.  They were almost back to the shore line when he began to falter.

“We’re almost there, man.”

Face nodded again, but B.A. could tell that he wasn’t going to make it much farther.  The effort was just becoming too much for his already weakened body to endure. B.A. moved closer to his blonde teammate and wrapped an arm around the younger man before he rolled both of them onto their backs and proceeded kick his feet while floating them back towards the shore line. As soon as his feet touched the sand, he stood up and lifted Face up into his arms and carried him to the beach, where he set him in the sand.

“Don’t you ever do some fool stunt like that again! What were you thinking?” BA growled as he stared down at the exhausted man.

“You don’t want to know.” Face sighed as he looked up at the big man. “But if it’s any consolation to you, I’m reconsidering my future.”

“What am I going to do with you, man?” BA shook his head as he dropped down on the sand beside Face.

“Hannibal used to ask the same question all the time.” Face smiled as he looked back at the ocean.

“What did you tell him?”

“Love me.”

“That I can do.” BA nodded as he pulled Face to him, hugging him close. The two sat like that for a long time until Face started to tremble in BA’s arms. Fearing that Face was crying again, BA pulled him tighter to his chest. “It’s going to be all right, Face.  It might not feel like it right now, but it’s going to be all right.”

BA was surprised when he heard Face give a faint laugh.

“I’m not crying; I’m cold.”

Looking around them for the first time, B.A. noticed that the sun had set and a strong, cool breeze was coming off the ocean.

“Can take care of that problem, too.”  B.A. laughed too as he stood up, then pulled Face up with him. When the younger man swayed on his feet, B.A. picked him up into his arms.

“I can walk, you know.” Face glared at him

“Hopefully better than you swim,” BA snickered as he carried the protesting Face up the stairs and into the beach house. When Mrs. B saw B.A. carrying Face up the steps, she rushed to the door.

“Scooter, what happened to you two?”

“Someone decided to go for a swim before dinner,” BA chucked as he put Face down. “Would think the fool would have taken his clothes off first.”

“And what about you?” she asked, knowing that her son was lying to her for some reason.

“He talked me into joining him.” B.A. looked at his mother, hoping that she would let the subject drop.  He didn’t want to lie to her, but he also didn’t want to tell her that Face had just tried to kill himself.

“You two are something else.” She shook her head. “Now both of you go get in the shower and get warmed up.  The last thing either of you need is to catch a chill.”

“Yes, ma’am.” B.A. smiled, glad that she had dropped her questioning. Before Face could say a word, BA threw the smaller man over his shoulders and carried him to the back of the house like a sack of potatoes.

*****

B.A. smiled when Face came out of the master bedroom the next morning wearing a pair of sweat pants and one of Hannibal’s old Michigan State University sweatshirts, his hair sticking up in several different directions. He watched as the younger man went straight to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. Face only paused for a moment at the toaster, looking at it as if something was missing. Face sighed and shook his head before moving to pull two pieces of bread out of the bag before returning to the toaster.

“Hey, man, how you feeling?”

Face didn’t say anything until he sat down at the table with his toast and coffee.

“Something that you need to understand real quick, I’m not a morning person,” Face mumbled as he took a bite of the toast and swallowed some of his coffee.

 Any other time, B.A. would have growled at Face for talking to him that way, but he was happy to see the other man doing things for himself. For the first time in months, Face was acting like a human being instead of a complete robot.  The change had started last night after Face’s attempted suicide. He had come out of the bedroom when he was finished with his shower and sat down to dinner.  He had begun to talk and actually eat without being told to do so by Mrs. B. When dinner was over, he had helped clear the table, and would have done the dishes if Mrs. Baracus hadn’t run him and B.A. out of the kitchen.  Instead of going to the bedroom or sitting in a chair to stare out at the ocean, he had picked up a book and started reading. B.A. noticed a couple of times that he would stare off into space or wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, but nothing like he had before.

“So, when am I allowed to talk to you?” B.A. asked as he took a drink of milk.  

“After my second cup of coffee or after noon, whichever comes first,” Face groused as he looked around the kitchen table. “Where is the financial section?”

“The what?” BA asked, not understanding.

“The financial section of the paper. Hannibal always takes the sports section, and gets the financial section out for me to…” Face stopped as he realized what he had just said. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Guess that’s something else I’m going to have to get used to, huh?”

“I think I can remember to get that section out for you in the morning.”

“You’re not always going to be here, B.A.” Face offered him a soft but sad smile. “I appreciate everything that you and your mother have done for me, but you have your own lives.”

“What if I don’t want to leave?” B.A. asked as he moved to kneel in front of Face. “I know that I shouldn’t be telling you this, not right now, not after everything that has happened and you still hurting the way you are, but I love you, Face. I always have and I always will.” B.A. reached up so that he could take Face’s head in his large hands. “I know you was happy with Hannibal, and I wish that this had never happened so that you never had to feel the pain of losing him.  'Cause you know I loved him and the fool, too, but it hurts me to see you go through all of this. I don’t ever want to see you suffer like that again.” Pulling Face forward, B.A. laid a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you.”

B.A. waited for Face to shove him away, but instead the younger man wrapped his arms around him and held on tight.

“Thank you,” Face sighed deeply, “but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to commit to anyone else.”

“I understand that, but if you don’t mind, I’m willing to wait,” B.A. whispered into Face’s hair as he hugged the smaller man back.

 “It wouldn’t be fair to you…”

“You let me worry about me,” BA growled. “You need to focus on yourself right now.” Pulling back, B.A. wiped the hair out of Face’s eyes. “But I want you to remember you are not alone; you got me. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

Face nodded and offered a faint smile.

“Thank you BA, for everything.”

**********

“Hey, Face, you ready to go?” B.A. called out as he entered Face’s home.  He had been surprised, yet pleased, when the younger man had called him the day before and asked if he wanted to join him for dinner and a movie. Though Face was getting out and doing more things on his own, B.A. noticed that he didn’t do anything for fun. It was only to get what he had to, and then Face was back in the house again.

 

“Hey, Face, I asked if you ready,” B.A. called.  When he didn’t get a response, he headed out toward the deck, thinking that the younger man might be outside. He was just reaching for the door handle when he heard a muffled sob coming from the master bedroom.  The big man instantly changed direction and headed toward the master bed room at the end of the hall.

“Face?” he called out softly as he pushed the door open.  Looking into the room, he spotted Face sitting on the bed with his head down, crying into one of Hannibal’s jackets.  A lot of the Colonel’s clothes were spread out on the bed, and there were several empty boxes on the floor.

“Hey, little brother, what’s going on?” B.A. asked as he sat down on the bed. When Face looked up at him, the expressions on the younger man’s face made BA instantly pull him into his arms. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do it.” Face shook his head. “I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“Can't what?” BA asked, though he felt he had a pretty good idea what Face was talking about.

“I was going to pack up Hannibal’s clothes and donate them, but I can’t.” Face shook his head as he tightened his grip on the jacket he was holding.

“Face…”

“I know that they are just clothes, but they smell like him, and when I…I…I tried to…”

As Face fought to keep his emotions under control, B.A. pulled him closer to his body.

“Don’t nobody say you have to give them away. You want to keep them, then keep them.”

“Someone could use them.  I’m being selfish…I should just give…” Face started to say, but B.A. cut him off.

“Someone is using them.” BA tipped Face’s head up so that they were looking at each other.  “Right now you need them.  One day you might not, but right now you keep them.”

As B.A. studied his friend’s face, he noticed  the dark circles under the bright blue-green eyes were back.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t know…I feel fine… and then it just hits me that he’s gone…” Face shook his head, not knowing what else to say.

“How 'bout you lay down for a while I’ll stay here in case you need me.”

“No, I said that I was taking you out to dinner and a movie.” Face started to get up, but B.A. wouldn’t let him go.

“We can do that another time,”

“But I promised you…”

“Another time,” B.A. growled, signaling the end of the conversation. 

Realizing that he wasn’t going to win, Face gave up.

“How about I fix us something when I get up?”

“That would be good.” B.A. smiled as he loosened his grip on Face and allowed the blonde to lie down on the bed. As soon as he was free, Face turned on his side, the jacket still in his hands. B.A. started to get up and leave the room, but changed his mind.  Moving behind Face, he wrapped an arm around the younger man’s waist and pulled him close to his body.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” Face stated, his words slightly muffled by Hannibal’s jacket.

“If I stay in here with you, then I know you sleeping, and not up and moving around. Now, close your eyes and go to sleep,” B.A. growled.

B.A. was surprised when Face did as he was told, and a few minutes later his breathing evened out, indicating that he was asleep. B.A. stayed behind Face for a few hours before carefully moving off the bed. Getting one of the Colonel’s shirts out of the boxes on the floor, he hung up the garment and placed it back in the closet. Within a half an hour, everything was back where it belonged and the boxes were put away. When B.A. turned to look back at the bed, he noticed that Face hadn’t moved once the whole time he had been moving about the room and he knew that the younger man would most likely sleep the rest of the night. Taking off most of his gold, BA moved back to the bed and lay down behind his exhausted friend. As soon as he was settled, he pulled Face back into the front of his body and drifted off to sleep.

**********

Face watched as B.A. dried the last of the dishes before placing them back in the cabinet. He was surprised to find that while he still desperately missed Hannibal, it was getting easier and easier to get through each day. There were times that he could feel the depression trying to creep back up on him, and there were times that he would just collapse and cry for his dead lover, but at least it was getting easier to deal with things . He also found that he was starting to like having B.A. around.  The other man seemed to know when he just needed to be left alone and when he needed to talk.

“You feel like watching a movie?” B.A. asked as he put the last dish away.

“Sounds great. I’ll even buy the popcorn.”

“You got a deal, man.” B.A. smiled as he moved to the front closet and pulled out Face’s jacket.

*****

“That was great!” Face laughed as he and B.A. came out of the movie theater.

“I have to say that was funny,” B.A. chuckled as he finished off the last of the popcorn in bag he was holding.  “I ain't never seen nothing like that before, you know the way that he outran that boulder and then had to run through the jungle to get away from them guys with the blow guns.”

“To be honest, it reminded me of one of Hannibal’s plans - always going wrong, but working out in the end.” Face shook his head as he continued to smile. “Then, of course, there's the fact that you get screwed over by the government.”

B.A. watched Face closely as they continued to walk down the street.  He expected the younger man to fall into one of his depressed moods, but unlike so many times before, he just kept on chatting. “So, do you feel like coming out to the house tomorrow for dinner?”

“I’d love to, man, but how about I take us out instead.”

“You don’t have to, B.A. I don’t mind cooking.”

“Maybe I mind eating it.” BA chuckled as he watched Face turn to look at him.  For the briefest second, a frown pulled at the corner of his mouth before he smiled.

“Can I help it if Hannibal was the cook?”

“Guess not.” BA kicked himself for pushing the subject with Face, but an idea quickly came to him. “How about I pick up some steaks and I grill them out?  You can do the salad.”

Face was quiet for a moment, then smiled back at him. “Deal.”

**********

B.A. sat on the couch, watching as Face slept curled up in a tight ball with one of Hannibal’s shirts clutched tightly in his hands. He had known that this day was coming for a long time, and he’d also known how badly Face was going to react, but it still didn’t make it any easier to witness. As the days got closer and closer to the one-year anniversary of their teammate's death, Face had become more and more withdrawn. Only a few months before, B.A. had managed to get Face out of the house to have some fun.  It had started out as the two of them going to see a movie, which soon became an every-weekend thing. Now, all he would do was sit on the back deck and watch the ocean.  

At first, B.A. had been upset with Face, but he soon realized that while other man was emotionally despondent, he still hadn’t gone into the deep depression that he had been in before. He just needed to let Face mourn, and be there for him when he needed him.

*****

“Son of a bitch!” Face yelled as he stuck his injured finger in his mouth. He jumped when B.A. came up behind him and pulled him down from the chair on which he'd been standing.

“You want to explain to me how in the hell it is possible for a sniper to miss a nail head?”

“Because the hammer isn’t an M-21,” Face grumbled as he continued to suck on his injured digit.

“Let me see.” B.A. pulled Face’s finger from his mouth and examined the nail. “You smashed it pretty good, man.”

“No kidding.” Face rolled his eyes at the big man as he tried to pull his finger away. “Please tell me how you talked me into doing this again.”

“Done told you,” B.A. started to answer as he pulled Face into the kitchen to put his thumb under some cold running water. “You’ve had that photo of you and Hannibal sitting in your closet for nine months now, and I think you need to get it up on the wall where it belongs.”

Face sighed heavily.  It was true, and he couldn’t deny it, he had been putting off hanging the photo. He had been flipping through a photo album one evening and come across the photo of himself and Hannibal sitting on the beach with the sun setting in front of them. His head was resting on the older mans’ shoulder, while Hannibal’s arm was wrapped around his waist. The night he had found it, he had cried so hard his voice was hoarse the next day.  

When he had shown it to B.A., the big man had asked to borrow it for a few days.  Reluctantly, Face had handed it over. A week later, B.A. returned the photo, along with a 36x42 framed copy to hang over the mantel. Face loved the photo for what it represented, but it also reminded him of everything that he had lost.

“Do you think Hannibal would have liked it over the fireplace?”  Face asked as he looked at the old oil painting he had just taken down. He remembered how Hannibal had teased him about going to a fancy art gallery and being suckered into buying it from a pretty sales girl.  Face had defended his decision that it was the colors of the ocean painting and the way that the gray in the storm clouds highlighted the sea gulls that had made him purchase it, but Hannibal continued to tease him that it was the big brown eyes and the long brunette hair that was the final reason.  Face had continued to believe that Hannibal didn’t care for the painting until one day he had come into the living room to see the older man sitting on the couch, smoking a cigar and looking up at the painting.  Before he could say a word, Hannibal extended his hand out to Face.

“You know, kid, if you look at it long enough, you can see the rain moving in.”  

B.A. watched as Face continued to stare at the oil painting sitting on the floor, reaching out and touched Face’s cheek so that he turned to look at him. “He would have loved it.  It has his favorite subject in it.”

Leaning forward, B.A. gently kissed Face, and unlike a year ago, the younger man responded by opening his mouth and allowing him access. B.A. deepened the kiss for just a few seconds, then broke it off. He smiled at Face before leaning over to place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“What do you say I get that photo hung up for you?”

“I’d appreciate that.” Face smiled.

*****

“I feel like I’m doing something wrong,” Face mumbled as B.A. kissed him again.

“Ya ain't doing nothing wrong.” B.A. pulled back so that he could see the younger man better.  “Face, he’s gone.” B.A. leaned forward so that his forehead was touching Face’s. “Hannibal and Murdock are both gone, and no matter what you do or how you act it, ain't going to bring them back.”

“I know that in my head,” Face sighed, “but I can’t make my heart believe it.”

Reaching forward, B.A. pulled Face to his chest so that the younger man was resting against his body. “I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, man.” B.A. ran his hands up and down Face’s back, rubbing it in small circles. “You two was together for a long time.”

“Over half my life,” Face sighed as he leaned into B.A.’s body.

“Keep forgetting how young you was when you joined the team.”

“I wasn’t that young,” Face started to protest, but stopped when B.A. began to laugh at him.

“Colonel didn’t call you 'kid' for no reason.”

“I’ve got your 'kid' right here, Bad Attitude,” Face growled as he pushed B.A. backwards on the couch. The two men wrestled around on the couch before they both ended up on the floor and B.A. was surprised to find himself pinned to the floor with Face straddling his waist.

“Don’t see how the Colonel managed to get you down like he did,” B.A. panted as he stared up at Face.

“Most of the time I let him,” Face grinned.  As he stared down into B.A.’s brown eyes, a feeling came over him. Before he realized what he was doing, Face kissed B.A.  Sitting up, he let go of the bigger man’s arm and shook his head as he sighed. “I feel like I’m cheating.”

Reaching up, B.A. took the younger man’s face in his hands. “You ain't cheating.”

“Really?  Then what am I doing?”

“You’re living,” BA growled as he ran his thumbs over Face’s cheeks. “And I know that is something that Hannibal would have wanted you to do.”

Lying in bed that night, Face turned to look at B.A.  He wasn’t sure when it had happened or how, but he realized that the other man had become more than just a close friend to him. He still felt the huge hole in his heart where Hannibal was missing, but with B.A. in his life, the pain was more bearable than it had been before.

**********

Few months later…

B.A. leaned back on the park bench and watched as Face licked the chocolate ice cream cone that he had bought him a few moments earlier. He had to admit that it was possibly the most erotic sight that he had ever seen, the way his lover’s tongue would run across its surface, making it smooth.  It certainly made up for the sand that he had gotten down the back of his shorts while playing in the surf on Lake Michigan. Face noticed his lover staring at him and turned to flash the other man a bright smile.

“I want to thank you for a great day.”

“Glad to hear it, man.”

B.A. watched as Face’s tongue made another pass over the soft serve, sending a chill up his spine.  How many times had that same tongue…?

“B.A., you all right?” Face asked as he looked at the lopsided grin that was stretched across his lover’s face.

“Yeah, just thinking we should get back to Mama’s apartment.” B.A. shifted to adjust his overalls as he stood up. “She should have dinner almost ready.”

“You know, we could just sit here in the park and watch the sun go down.” Face took another lick. “There won’t be too many more days of summer left.” Having gotten the soft serve just below the top of the cone, Face began to dip his tongue inside.

B.A. shuddered as he remembered the last time they had made love. Face had been leaning over the top of him, that very same tongue dipping into his navel, before trailing farther down.

Face noticed the movement and grinned as he took a small bite out of the sugar cone.

“You do realize the next time we visit; there will be snow on the ground.”

“Yeah,” B.A. swallowed hard as he watched Face’s perfect white teeth sink into the cone again.

Knowing exactly the effect he was having on the other man, Face continued his erotic display by dipping his tongue back into the cone before speaking again.

“Of course, we could come back when all the leaves are changing. I know you love that.”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” B.A. panted as he continued to watch his lover’s mouth work the ice cream out of the cone.

“Maybe even fly instead of driving?” Face ask softy before he closed his eyes and sat back, tilting his head back so he could suck the last of the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone. When he opened his eyes and looked at his lover, he could see that he had B.A. right where he wanted him.

The voice was so soft and so seductive, adding to the visual image still playing though his head. B.A. couldn’t say no to anything Face asked for at this moment.

“Yeah, that would be good.”

Standing up, Face moved to wrap his arms around his lover’s broad shoulders.

“Thank you,” he whispered against B.A.’s lips, kissing him lightly before stepping back.  “I think we should get back to your mother’s apartment, it’s getting late.”

B.A. ran his tongue over his lips, tasting the chocolate and his lover.  Hearing the suggestion to go back to the apartment brought up images of Face wriggling under him, moaning in pleasure.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea.” Putting his arm over Face’s shoulder, the two men started to walk across the park when B.A. suddenly stopped.

“What did you say about us flying?”

“You promised.” Face smiled as he continued to walk forward, putting a little distance between himself and his lover.

“You said something about us flying.”  B.A.’s voice began to rise as he realized what he had agreed to do.

“Now B.A., you promised,” Face repeated, though he picked up his pace. “And I’ve never known you to go back out on your promise.”

“You wait 'til I get a hold of you, man,” B.A. growled as he started after Face.

Hearing the feral growl, Face started to run.  If he was lucky, he would reach the apartment and Mrs. Baracus before B.A. got to him.

Face had just gotten his hand on the apartment door when B.A. grabbed him from behind and pinned him to the wall.

“You tricked me,” the black man growled as he leaned his body into Face.

“I didn’t do anything.  You were the one not paying attention.” Face laughed as he squirmed in the big man’s grip.

“You distracted me, you and that tongue of yours, then you have the nerve to act like you is a perfect angel.”

“It’s not my fault….”

“Sitting on that bench trying to look innocent, knowing what you were doing to me.”

“All I was trying to do was enjoy my ice cream,” Face protested as B.A. moved in closer to him.

“Being a perfect angel, huh?”

“Exactly.” Face smiled as he leaned forward to nuzzle B.A.'s neck, while he moved a knee up to press against B.A.’s groin.  “I was sitting there, minding my own business, trying to have a conversation with you, and the next thing I know, you're accusing me of things I didn’t do.”

B.A. couldn’t help but chuckle at the tone in his lover’s voice and his mock wounded pride.

“Guess you saying I need to apologize to you?” B.A. asked as he moved back so that Face was no longer pinned to the wall, his hands moving from Face's wrists to his waist so he could pull the blonde closer to him.

“You could start there,” Face moved his head from B.A.’s neck so that he could look the other man in the eyes, “and I can think of a great way for you to finish.”

B.A. looked into Face’s blue-green eyes, and he knew that there was no way he could ever tell the younger man no.

“Anything you want, angel,” he smiled as he leaned down to kiss Face.

**********

Few months later….

“Okay I understand why you are afraid to fly, I do, what I don’t get is how you can stand to drive for such long distances,” Face stated as he slid his key into the lock of the beach house. “I mean, let’s take the drive to your mom’s.  We could have been home…in…just…a…few… ”

Slowly the words died on Face’s lips as he moved farther into the house. When he reached the living room, the younger man stopped dead in his tracks, causing B.A. to bump into him.

The smell of Cuban cigars filled the room, but the scent that was under them was what tore at Face’s heart

“John?”

“Face, what’s going…” B.A. stopped as he, too, noticed the smell. “Don’t know who is playing this sick game, but they going to stop.”

“It’s not a game.” Face swallowed hard as he moved forward.  He had spent too many years with Hannibal to know when the other man was around. “John?” Face called out again, though his voice sounded weak in his own ears.

Just a brief moment later, the French door to the back deck opened, and John “Hannibal” Smith walked through them.

At first, Face just stared.  He couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him. The face was that of his lover, though tanner, and older, his silver hair lighter, his body leaner and more muscular.  But the eyes... Oh, the eyes were still that bright blue that he always loved to look into.

“Oh, God, John...” Face swallowed hard as he felt his heart begin to beat harder and harder in his chest. “Please tell me you are real.”

“I’m real, Tem.” Hannibal smiled as he took a step towards Face.

Face wasn’t sure how they both got across the room so fast, or when either of them had even moved, but the next thing he knew he was being held in a strong embrace.

“Thank God you didn’t do anything stupid,” Hannibal whispered into Face’s hair as he pulled the smaller man as close to his body as he could physically get him. “I was so afraid that you would be gone.”

Face didn’t respond. However, the first sob escaped his lips just a few moments later when the realization of what he had planned on doing in the ocean sank in. Hannibal carefully maneuvered them over to the couch so that he could sit Face down before he collapsed.

“I tried,” Face choked out as he buried his head in the Colonel’s shoulder. “I missed you so much.”

Hannibal nodded as he felt his own emotions building.

“It’s all right,” he whispered as he stroked Face’s hair.  

“What about Murdock?  Did he…” Face stopped.  He already knew in his heart that his best friend was gone, and the simple fact that he wasn’t here now also confirmed it, but he had to hear it to make himself truly believe.

“I’m sorry, kid.  When the plane started having problems, he went to try and help the pilots. As soon as the plane hit the water, the cockpit disintegrated.” Feeling Face trembling underneath him, Hannibal reached for the throw that they had always kept on the back of the couch. “But I honestly believe that if he hadn’t been in the cockpit, then no one would have survived.”  

“What happened to you, man? If you was all right, why haven’t you called before now? Why did you put him through all this?” B.A. asked as he moved to sit down beside Face. Reaching out, he began to rub the younger man’s back.

Hannibal looked up at B.A., his anger quickly rising.

“Do you think that I didn’t know what he was feeling? Do you think that I didn’t know that he was hurting every day that I didn’t return? Don’t you think that I wasn’t feeling the same thing? God damn it, B.A., if you had any idea the…”  Hannibal stopped when he felt Face shift in his arms.

“Please, John, stop.”

Looking down, Hannibal saw Face looking up at him, his blue-green eyes full of pain.

“Without him, I wouldn’t be alive.” Face took a deep breath before he continued. “B.A. was there for me, Hannibal.  He taught me how to live again.”

Hannibal looked over at B.A. as his eyes narrowed.  He knew how the other man felt about his lover, but he never felt that B.A. would act on them. “How long did you wait before you moved in on him?”

“Man, it wasn’t like that,” BA growled at Hannibal, his own anger coming forward. “He was hurting and needed a friend.”

“And I am sure that you were more than happy to step up,” Hannibal countered.

“So where the hell were you?”

Face moved out of Hannibal’s arms so that he could see both men.

“Stop it! Both of you stop it!” Face took a deep breath. “I love you, John; I always have and I always will, but you can’t blame me or B.A. for going on. I waited, I mourned, and I grieved for you, but B.A. showed me that I could live again. If that hurts you, then I'm sorry, because the last thing I ever wanted to do in my life was cause you pain.”

Before Hannibal or B.A. could say a word, Face continued, only this time he was looking at B.A.

“You know I love you, B.A.” Face reached over to touch the other man’s cheek. “Without you and your support, I wouldn’t be around.  But you have to understand that Hannibal is my life, he’s my soul. At one time, I would have said that I can’t live without him. Now that he is back, I can say that I don’t want to live without him. I don’t want to give up what I had with him.”

Reaching over, Face took Hannibal’s hand in one hand while moving his other to take B.A.’s.

“But I don’t want to give up what I have with you, either.” Squeezing both men’s hands, he leaned back on the couch and sighed. “So now that you two know how I feel, what are we going to do?”

Both men turned to look at Face, then each other, and BA was the first to speak.  

“I’ve watched you suffer too much; I won’t watch you do it again when I know I can stop it.” B.A. squeezed Face’s hand. “If sharing you with Hannibal is what it takes to be with you, then I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.” Face smiled at B.A. as he squeezed the big man’s hand in return.

Hannibal, however, was quiet for a few more minutes, and Face was starting to worry when the older man turned slightly. Hannibal took his free hand and stroked the hair back from Face’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I can share you, Tem.” Hannibal swallowed hard as he looked at the pain in his lover’s eyes. “But I know that I can’t be without you.  Being away from you, and worrying about you all this time, has aged me so much.” Leaning forward, Hannibal gently kissed Face. “I can’t guarantee you anything baby, but I will try.”

 Face took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke, his voice as heavy as his heart.

"Please, Hannibal, don’t say something just to make me happy.  If this is going to work, I’m going to need more than an 'I’ll try' from you.”

Hannibal looked at Face, not believing what he was hearing.  Sitting back, he stared at Face in complete disbelief.

“What the hell do you want me to say? That I am happy to come home from all the shit I’ve gone through and find out that you are sleeping with someone else and you want me to just accept it? Is that what you expect out of me? Because I can’t do it, Templeton, I can’t! In fact, I won’t!”

Face continued to look at Hannibal for a few minutes before he stood up and, without a word, walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him. B.A. looked over at Hannibal as he rose to his feet.

“You are a fool,” he said as he walked down the hall and entered the bedroom.

When B.A. walked into the room he expected to find Face curled into a ball as he normally did when he was really hurting.  Instead, he found him standing at the window, looking out at the surf. Moving up behind his lover, B.A. wrapped his arms around him.

 “What can I do for you, Angel?”

“Nothing,” Face sighed as he leaned back into BA’s chest. “It’s all up to him now.”

“Still want to know where he has been,” BA growled as he hugged Face closer to him.

“So do I, but right now I’m too tired to care.” Face leaned heavily against B.A.

 Realizing that Face was most likely suffering from a mild case of shock, B.A. scooped Face up into his arms and carried him to the bed. Laying the younger man down, he covered him with a blanket.

“You rest, Angel.  We’ll sort this out later once you feeling better.”

“I don’t feel bad now,” Face started to speak, but BA gently kissed him.

“Didn’t say that you did, but you just admitted you was tired, and I think it would be best if you rested for a while. When you get up, we’ll all try to sit down and sort this out again.”

“When did you become so rational?”  Face laughed softly as he reached up to stroke B.A.’s cheek.

“You rubbin' off on me.” BA smiled as he leaned down to kiss Face. “Go to sleep, Angel.”

“What do you plan on doing?” Face gave B.A. a look that told the big man he was worried about him doing or saying something to the Colonel that he shouldn’t.

“Going to do some work on the van.  You ain't got to worry about me doing nothing stupid while you sleepin'.”

“Promise?” Face asked as he relaxed in the bed.

“Promise.” B.A. kissed him again as he stood up and left the room.

As he entered the living room, he noticed that Hannibal was sitting outside on the deck. As much as he wanted to go outside and rip the older man a new asshole, he had made a promise to Face and he planned on keeping it. So instead, he headed out to the garage and immersed himself in the GMC’s engine.

***

Hannibal sat quietly on the deck, pondering his future with Face.  He loved the younger man with his entire heart and, truth be told, the only thing that had kept him going  some days was the thought of holding his blonde haired lover in his arms again.

When the plane had crashed in the ocean he had just managed to make it out before what was left of it had sunk into the ocean. Grabbing hold of some of the floating debris, he had managed to keep himself afloat and get some of the other survivors together into a group. Over the next couple of days, they struggled to survive against the ocean, the sun, and each other. Some of them had made it, and some hadn’t. When the plane had crashed, there had been twelve survivors; by the time they were picked up by a fishing trawler, there were only five of them alive. By rights, that should have been the end of their ordeal.  However, the trawler had been North Korean and was not where it should have been. To keep from being caught by other countries, they had taken the survivors and held them in a prison camp.

The first month, Hannibal had hoped that the North Korean government would come to their senses and turn them over to the American Embassy.  However, as time passed, it soon became apparent that they had no intention of letting them go. After a few months, Hannibal made a conscious effort to get out. He was just about to execute his plan when he and several other men who were held in his cell were taken out into the country. It was not for another few days that he learned that he and the others had been sold to several farmers in the area for manual labor.

The next year and a half had been filled with hard labor and a lot of sleepless nights worrying about Face. He had tried to escape several times and had suffered dearly for each of them, but one thing could be said about John “Hannibal” Smith, and that was that he was not a quitter. Two years and thirteen escape attempts later, he made it away from the plantation where he had been held and worked his way across the border to South Korea. From there he found passage on a cargo ship as a member of the crew.

When he had made it back to the Los Angeles harbor, the first thing he had done was make his way back to the beach house he had shared with Face. To his great relief, there were signs that Face still occupied the home.  Some things had changed, but it still looked like the home that they had shared years before.  Now, as he looked out at the ocean, he thought about the changes that he not paid that much attention to when he had first arrived. The photo of the ocean over the mantel was gone, and it had been replaced with one of him and Face looking out at the ocean. There were photos of him on the end tables, but there were also photos of B.A.’s mother in the room. While there were still the photos of him and Face on the walls, there were also photos of Face and B.A.

Hannibal reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigar, and looked at it. He thought about everything he had gone through and how he had done each and every one of them to get back to Face, and now...  Now it might not matter, because Face might have moved on with his life.

Unconsciously, Hannibal crushed the cigar in his hand.  He would be damned if he gave up now. He didn’t struggle so damn hard to get back to Face just to lose him because Face had found a way to survive without him.

Dropping the crushed cigar, Hannibal went back into the house and down the hall to the master bedroom. He opened the door and quietly slipped inside.  For a few minutes, he just stood by the closed door and stared at the sleeping man. Moving over to the bed, he sat down beside Face.  Unable to help himself, he reached down and stroked the fallen hair out of Face’s eyes.

“John,” Face sighed as he rolled over and opened his eyes to look up at Hannibal.

Hannibal continued to stare at the younger man for a few minutes before he spoke, his voice choked with emotion.

“I lost you once, kid. I won’t do it again.” Unable to help himself, he pulled Face up into his arms and hugged him tight to his chest. “I won't live without you in my life.” Hannibal kissed Face’s hair, neck, and ear before he whispered. “I can’t, baby.  You are everything to me; you are my life. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in it, even if that means sharing you with B.A.”

Face pulled back so that he could see Hannibal.

“You mean it?”

“Yes.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Face was kissing him long, deep, and hard. It was only a second later that the younger man had him pulled down over the top of him.

“Love me, please!” Face broke the kiss for just a moment. “Please, it has been so long.  I’ve missed you so much.”

Without another word, Hannibal attacked Face’s mouth as he began to strip Face out of his clothes while Face pulled at his. In minutes, the two of them were naked and panting for breath as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. It was only a matter of a few more minutes before Face’s body was ready for Hannibal, and when the older man tried to ease his way in to Face’s body, the younger man had a different idea.  He shifted his body so that the Colonel’s thick member impaled him in one hard, fast movement, gasping in pain as he did.

“Slow down, Face; I don’t want to hurt you.” Hannibal tried to pull out, but Face wouldn’t allow it.

“I need to know that you are alive, that this isn’t just another dream.” Face pulled at the older man’s shoulders, his fingers digging into the tan skin. “I need to feel you in me.”

“Face…”

“Please, Hannibal, for once in your life just shut up and do as you are told!” Face begged as he pushed his body up so that he could take more of his Colonel into his body, sealing them closer together.

Face watched as a smile pulled across the older man’s lips.

“Yes, Sir,” he whispered as he leaned down to capture Face mouth with his own. Their lovemaking that time could have almost been considered brutal, but every time Hannibal tried to back off, Face would become aggressive and take charge. It didn’t take long before both men came hard, each of them panting and gasping for breath as Hannibal lay on top of Face. When Hannibal started to pull out, Face stopped him by wrapping his legs around Hannibal's waist, forcing him to stay in place.

“I want to stay connected to you,” he whispered into Hannibal’s ear as he held the older man tight.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” Hannibal pulled back enough so that he could look into Face’s blue-green eyes. In one smooth movement, Hannibal rolled the two of them so that Face was sitting on top of him, his now-hardening member still impaling Face.

Taking the lead like before, Face planted his knees on either side of Hannibal.  Slowly, he rose up until only the head of Hannibal’s member was in him before he slowly sank back down taking the entire length inside of him.

“You feel so good,” Hannibal sighed as he reached up to run his hands over Face’s chest and thighs.

Face didn’t say a word as he rose up and impaled himself on Hannibal’s cock again. Soon Hannibal was moaning as Face sped up the process. Reaching between the two of them, Hannibal took Face into his hands and began to stroke him.  It wasn’t long before Face was also moaning and begging Hannibal for release.

“You want to cum, Tem?”

“Yes,” Face whispered as he slid down Hannibal’s shaft again so that his member was completely buried inside of him.

“Tell me how bad you want me.”

“So bad, John!  Worse than I have ever wanted you before,” Face moaned as he pushed down harder onto Hannibal, trying to get as much of his lover into his body as possible.

“Then cum for me, baby,” Hannibal stated as he thrust up into Face while stroking him harder.  Face came hard as he screamed out Hannibal’s name. Hannibal moved just enough so that he could pull Face down into his arms, the younger man resting against his sweat-covered chest.

“Love you, Tem. I love you so much,” he declared as he kissed his lover’s mouth, cheeks, and forehead. “Love you so much.”

It was a few short seconds later when Hannibal felt the first sob rack Face’s body and he held him tighter.

“Thought I lost you again,” Face wrapped his arms around Hannibal’s neck and held on to him tight as the tears began to flow.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Hannibal stated as he held Face tight. “No damn where.”

***

Several hours later, BA came in from the garage, and he noticed that the living room was empty. When he opened the door to the bedroom, he was not at all surprised to find Face and Hannibal asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Always thought you was stubborn, but I knew you wasn’t insane.” Going to the end of the bed, BA pulled the blanket up over the two of them. He was just about to turn and leave when he heard Hannibal speak.

“You’re going to have to help me with this, B.A.” Hannibal moved his hand so that he could stroke Face’s hair. “I’m not use to sharing.”

“I can do that.” B.A. smiled as he nodded his head and left the room.

**********

“Hannibal?”

“Yeah, B.A.?” Hannibal looked up from where he was stroking Face’s hair.

“You think it might be time for us to retire from taking missions? I don’t know if I can take anymore close ones like this.”

“I know what you mean.” Hannibal nodded as he ran his fingers around the edge of the bruise that covered Face’s temple. “Seems like without Murdock here he gets banged up more and more.”  Hannibal looked up at the big man and offered him a faint smile. “Tomorrow we talk to him and see what he thinks of retirement?”

“Going to have to word it so that he thinks it isn’t because of him getting hurt, or he’ll never agree.” B.A. stated as he gently rubbed Face’s back.

“I like the way you think, Sergeant,” Hannibal chuckled softly as he stroked Face’s hair, “and I'm really starting to get used to having you around.”

Reaching over Face, BA held gently squeezed Hannibal’s shoulder.

“Anything for him.”

Hannibal nodded as he looked at B.A., then down at Face.

“Anything for him.”

 

End

 


Gone by Jullian Gray
You Don't Know What You Have Until It's Gone by Jullian Gray
You Don't Know What You Have Until It's Gone 2 by Jullian Gray

 

 


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