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This page last viewed: 2017-08-15 and has been viewed 1016 times
Trick Nor Treat
by A. Nannie Mouse
"It's easy, guys!" said the Cowardly Lion, around his cigar. "The cover story is foolproof. We are having a scavenger hunt. Just go around asking for a tobacco tin. Our contact will just hand it to you and we have the microfilm. A piece a'cake!"
The Scarecrow, Dorothy and a pumpkin with a bad attitude all groaned.
"Sounds good to me, Johnnie!" chirped the Tin Man.
"I'm not goin' around trick or treating, man" growled B.A. He had escaped the Wizard of Oz theme only because of his massive muscles. The guy at the costume shop had refused to risk any of his precious seams on those biceps. The sergeant was wearing an orange coverall with a jack-o-lantern face basted on the front. It looked only slightly less happy than the sergeant. Accented with his usual jewelry, he was an interesting sight.
"Here. Think of the kids!" Hannibal handed him a UNICEF trick or treat box. He had known it was going to be a tough sell. "Now, everybody, get out there and meet back here in two hours."
"I'll check out the street fair!" called Frankie as he hurried down the street. He didn't want to go door to door either.
But somebody did.
"I'll bet I get more candy than you, Faceman!" announced Dorothy in his braids, blue gingham dress and red glitter encrusted high tops. Murdock's feet were much too big for the ruby slippers at the costume shop.
"We're not looking for candy, Murdock. We are looking for a tobacco tin!" Face said, brushing the straw from his face."You know, Hannibal, you could have chosen a different movie. Say 'Gone with the Wind.' I would have looked much better as Rhett Butler."
"Ooh, hoop skirts!" Murdock had absolutely no pride.
"Just get out there, Lieutenant."
Murdock and Face started down the same street.
"I'll bet five bucks that I can get more candy than you." Murdock said, unable to let go of an idea once it caught his fancy. "My wit against your charm!"
"You're wit, huh. Well, your half way there. Make it ten and you're on."
Colonel Hannibal Smith strode up to the first door. He knocked, and the man of the house answered the door.
"Hello, sir. I'm on a scavenger hunt. Do you have Prince Albert, in a can?"
B.A. was embarrassed, which always put him in a bad mood. He muttered to himself as he approached the first door.
Old Mrs. Anderson opened the door and found a surly, gold encrusted, jack-o-lantern.
"Trick or treat, Mama." Growled the apparition, holding out a UNICEF box. "You got Prince Albert, in a can?"
Face saw a beautiful woman handing out Snickers at the first door on his block. "Wit or charm, indeed!"
"Excuse me, dear lady, I'm on a scavenger hunt. Does your husband smoke a pipe?"
"I don't have a husband, but you can come in and we can discuss the rest of your list."
Face reached up to his neck to straighten his tie. Remembering what he was wearing, he settled on fluffing his straw. "Thank you, very much."
Murdock stopped dead in his tracks when he felt a hand on his posterior. Turning, he saw a very drunk pirate leering at him.
"Hey, honey. Give me a treat and I'll show you a trick!"
Murdock pulled himself up to his full six feet, two inches.
"I don't think so, Bud." He growled in his best baritone.
Two hours later, they headed back to the rendezvous point.
Face adjusted his straw as he passed a bruised, limping pirate in the street. He considered asking him if he needed any help, but decided that the guy was so drunk he was probably trouble.
When he got back to the Team, he noticed that Frankie had been enjoying himself. He was wearing three of those glow-in-the-dark necklaces, eating a candy apple and holding a small plastic bag with a gold fish in it.
"You know, Frankie, you shouldn't eat that until it's been checked for razor blades." scolded Murdock.
"I bought it, Murdock!"
"So, Lieutenant, any luck?" asked the Colonel as he lit a new cigar. The other one was rather bent from all the doors that had slammed on it.
"Not with the tobacco, but Murdock may owe me ten dollars. Let's count 'em up, fly-boy."
Murdock and Face traded bags.
"Hmm, three pieces of bubble gum, a small bag of candy corn, a quarter, some dental floss and a rock. I think I've got you beat." Face said.
Murdock just stared in disbelief at the three pounds of candy in Face's bag.
"How come they're all Snickers?"
"I hate to interrupt your victory, Face, but did anyone find any sign of our contact?"
By this time B.A. had returned. He was carrying the UNICEF box and a heavy looking paper sack.
"No, but the people around here are sure generous to the kids." He plunked down the bag which gave a decidedly metallic thump.
"I think I'll try down at the high school. They're having a dance there tonight. You coming, Murdock?" Face asked.
"No, I don't think so. There is a guy down there who seems to think that we have a date."
"That's because you're so cute in blue." Face teased, ducking just in time to miss the swinging candy bag.
Just then, a boy pulled on Smith's arm. He was dressed as a Munchkin, green clothes, pointed shoes and long green beard.
"I've been following you for the last hour." he said in a surprisingly low voice. " I had to make sure you were my contacts. Here." He handed the Colonel a small box and then skipped away.
Smith mused for a moment. It was indeed Prince Albert, in a can.
Murdock peered at the tin over Hannibal's shoulder.
"Ya' know, you should let him out before he suffocates."
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