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Who Your Friends Are

Who Your Friends Are

By:  Englishspirit


Rating:  G      

Summary:  B. A. knows who his friends are.  This is fluff and I blame country music once again.  Lyrics are by Tracy Lawrence from the song "Find Out Who Your Friends Are."  I have done stories on all the guys but B. A. so it's his turn.  Say what you like about Mr. T.'s acting but I wonder how he kept from laughing at Dwight's antics.

Disclaimer:  I own nothing but a radio and all it plays is country.  The guys belong to Universal and Mr. Cannell.





You find out who your friends are

Run your car off the side of the road

Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere

Or get yourself in a bind,

Lose the shirt off your back,

Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare…


Bosco Albert Baracus was not a happy man.  He was annoyed and frustrated and only had one nerve left and Murdock was standing on it with both feet.  He drove carefully through the lunch hour traffic and fantasized about shaking the Faceman till the sucker's teeth rattled. 


The day had started pleasantly enough: he and the others were between jobs so he had gone to the youth center to do some long overdue repair work.  He had been in the middle of re hanging a door when the receptionist called him to the office, explaining that he had a call.  His alarm bells were ringing as he looked around the mostly deserted office and picked up the phone, so he was not pleased to hear Murdock's hyperactive jive.


"Hello there you big ugly jewelry tree, how is it hanging?"  "Murdock!"  B.A. said in disbelief, thinking that only the worst of emergencies could have caused the fool to call him.  "What's wrong? Somebody hurt?  Is Lynch on us?" he asked in a frantic whisper looking around the room for hidden MPs.


"Naw, calm down mudsucker, I just need you to take me to get ice cream.  It's Tuesday you know old chap, and we physicians of the psyche, always have Moose Maple ice cream bars on Tuesday."


"Shut up and talk right Murdock, I thought Face sprung you out on Tuesdays?"  He asked.  He never could understand where Faceman got his patience in talking to the Crazyman, maybe it was something you learned in a Catholic orphanage but it was beyond his skill.  B.A. could spend hours on a motor but five minutes listening to Murdock and he wanted to pound something or someone.


"Well, he's not here and it's late B.A. and if I don't get my Moosie bars I can't watch the news at 6:00 and then I won't know if everything gets runny or stays poached, so come on B.A., take me to the ice cream store."  Murdock whined breathlessly.


Convinced now that there was no trap waiting for him but an increasingly agitated Murdock to contend with, B. A. felt himself start to get angry.  "I'm busy, fool, I got stuff to do here at the center that's been waiting too long, and I don't have time for your crazy rap about runny Moose bars.  Where's Face anyway?"  His tone of voice must have alerted the pilot that jerking his chain was not a smart thing to do, because when he replied Murdock's voice was subdued.


"Come on big guy, it won't take long."  He pleaded, "I really do need to have my bars to handle the news.  You know the ice cream goodness against the ugliness of reality."  He must have heard B. A. growl because he began to speak faster, "Please?  I'll be good, I won't even bring Billy and...and anyway I think Face had a date and forgot about me."


B. A. heard the despair in that last plea and he gave a deep sigh, he knew he couldn't just leave the fool hanging.  He really didn't understand what was going on, he knew Face was always chasing the ladies but that had never prevented him from being there or doing things for the pilot, he was almost obsessive about it.  He decided to take Murdock to get his ice cream, after all how long could it possibly take?




It had taken about an hour and a half so far and they still weren't near the place that Murdock swore was the home of the great Moose Maple bar.  "I'm sure it's around here somewhere, maybe if we just park and wait it will find us huh B. A.?" He asked.


B.A, didn't answer; his limited patience was almost at an end.  He had picked up an excited Murdock at the V. A., using one of the day passes already set up by Face.  He had managed not to throttle the pilot so far but he was fast losing the battle with his temper.  Murdock had not shut up since getting in the van but had gone on a non-stop tangent about the virtues of vanilla flavoring.


"Shut up Murdock, I don't want to…"  And the vans phone rang.  He picked it up with the desperate hope that it was Face and he could drop the fool off with him and get back to work at the center.  It wasn't Face, it was Hannibal and he wasn't going to be able to drop Murdock anywhere from the sound of the colonels' voice.


"Thank God! B. A.  you have to come get me right away!" Hannibal's frantic voice was loud and clear over the phones receiver. B. A. pulled over to the curb with some concern   "I can be there in 10 minutes, calm down man."  B.A. tried to assure his upset friend but at the same time he was worried, nothing ever rattled the colonel, even the fool had gone quite.


"I have got the chance to play hook man in a classic horror film.  My agent almost didn't get me the part and if I don't get there in 30 minutes I'm going to lose it.  My car won't start and this could be the milestone of my acting career, you gotta come get me."   Hannibal's voice was breathless with excitement.


B.A. looked with disbelief at the receiver in his hand.  He could still hear Hannibal on the other end but he really wasn't listening.  There were times, like now, when he felt like the only sane man left in his unit.  The only thing missing was Face smiling at him and asking him for money to finance a 'sure thing.'


B.A. rolled his eyes and gave up his last remaining hope that he could finish all those jobs at the center.  He just couldn't turn his back on Hannibal, even if all the fuss was for a bit part in a cheesy movie. His colonel needed him.  "I'll be there."  He said and hung up the phone.


It was understood among the four of them, that there were times when everyone needed a little extra help. He had never minded bailing them out of fights, fixing cars, lending money (within reasonable limits in Facemans case) or letting the guys stay at his place (with lots of limits in Murdock's case).  They would do the same for him.  They did for each other, always had, always would.


B.A. pulled into the drive of the ranch house that Hannibal was currently using.  Murdock bounded out of the van and ran to the side of the house onto the patio.  B.A. followed and found both his friends standing over a grill.  The colonel was calmly turning steaks; glasses of ice tea were set up on a nearby table underneath an umbrella.  To B.A.'s suspicious eyes, Hannibal didn't look like he was in a hurry to go anywhere.


"What's going on sucker?"  B.A. growled.  The colonel was grinning at him, Murdock was bouncing up and down in excitement and he knew somehow that he had just been scammed.  "Where's Face?" 


"My agent just called and we were able to reschedule the whole thing, hungry? Lunch is almost ready."  Hannibal answered with a smug look that screamed plan coming together.  "He just got in big guy, hey Faceman!"  Murdock yelled toward the house, "We're out by the pool."  B. A. turned an irritated scowl toward the patio door as Face came through with his date on his arm.




"Oh Scooter! I missed you baby!"


As he hugged his mama, B.A. thought about all the trouble his friends must have gone through to accomplish this.  "Thanks fellas," he said as Hannibal took out a cigar, which Face obligingly lit.  "You deserve it B.A." the colonel said.  "Oh almost forgot" Face muttered and reached into his pocket.  He pulled something out and with a smile handed it to Murdock.  The pilot gave a cry of happiness and taking the Moose Maple bar he excitedly unwrapped it and took a big bite, "Thanks Face." 


"I'm glad you have such good friends' baby." His mama said and B.A. smiled and hugged her again, because although they were frequently on the jazz, scamming or just plain insane, he had always known who his friends were.


Somebody's gonna drop everything

Run out and crank up their car

Hit the gas, get there fast

Never stop to think "what's in it for me?"

Or "it's way too far"

They just show on up

With their big ol' heart

You find out who your friends are.



The End


Who Your Friends Are by Englishspirit



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