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Fear, itself

Fear, Itself

By Katkin

 

Rated PG13

Summary He's afraid to stay. But he's afraid to leave… Episode Tag to Without Reservations. As always, thanks to everyone at the ATSB, especially JFM, ShadowWalker and Pam for the advice and inspiration! But I'm warning you… step away from the Faceman. He's mine and mine alone.

Disclaimer No money exchanged hands for this. I'm doing it purely out of charity.

 

 

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He wants to walk away.

 

Some days he wants it more than anything. And sometimes there's an opportunity, an opening, when he could just leave. Maybe he wouldn't even say anything to them.

 

See, he's afraid to stay: that's what it comes down to. Oh the danger has always been there. But they all seemed to dance just out of reach of the chaos, light on their feet… catch me if you can! But he got caught. And there isn't a day when he doesn't see the physical proof of it, written clearly across his belly: a meandering red line he's terrified to cross.

 

He doesn't want this existence anymore. Perhaps he never did. But where else was there to go? He found himself in Hannibal's slipstream and he raced right on the heels of his leader. It was effortless… and he flourished in the fallout of The Jazz. They all did.

 

But now he doesn't dance just out of reach of the chaos. He runs to stand still, on legs like lead. The Jazz is no match for the white-hot terror that has overtaken and lapped him: terror that it might happen again.

 

He wonders if they even have a clue. If they even noticed his retreat. If they even see how his hands shake. If they even register the nervous hand through the hair.

 

He wants to walk away.

 

Some days he wants it more than anything. And sometimes there is an opportunity, an opening, when he could just leave. Maybe he wouldn't even say anything to them.

 

But where else is there to go?

 

See, he's afraid to leave: that's what it comes down to.

 

 


Fear, Itself by Katkin

 

 


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