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There had been others girls, of course

All My Loving

Author: Sockie

 

Rating: PG

Summary:  What happened between Kelly and Murdock after Bounty?  From Kelly's POV

Warnings:  sap

Disclaimers:  I don't own the guys or make any money off this

Song lyrics from All My Loving by the Beatles

 

 

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

 

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you
Tomorrow I'll miss you
Remember I'll always be true…

 

 

'Why did they have to play that, all of things?' Kelly thought, tears welling in her eyes.  It was their song.  The song Murdock always sang to her, right before she left from visiting him at the VA.  Right before kissed her goodbye.  She rushed over to the radio and turned it off.  It hurt too much to hear it. 

 

In the few short months since Murdock had climbed into the back of her van, Kelly spent most Saturdays making the two hour drive to visit him.  Pepperoni and mushroom pizza in hand, of course.  His favorite.  And under the shade of the large oak trees on the VA grounds, they spent hours talking and laughing.  And falling in love.

 

But now it has been a few weeks since she had visited him.  She missed him terribly, but, as she had told him, "I need some time to think, to get my bearings."  

 

And he had understood.

 

She had never fallen in love before, and had no idea it could happen so fast.  But what was not to love?  Murdock brought happiness and excitement to her fairly mundane existence.  She had thought she would be content to live in her sheltered world, taking care of animals, for the rest of her life.  That was, until she met him.  She had no idea she could need a person so much.  With him, she did not feel like 'Kelly Stevens, Wallflower'.  For the first time in her life, she felt pretty and interesting- even adored.  And when she was with him, she felt she would never be alone again. 

 

They had talked of past 'loves'.  For both of them, it was a fairly short list.  For her, just a couple of local guys she had dated once or twice.  For him, a few cute girls in high school and a nurse or two in Vietnam.  More recently, an occasional client had been interested in him, but he usually pretended to be oblivious to their attentions. 

 

"After all," he had joked, "it was easier than telling them where I lived." Then he turned serious.  He smiled, that great, warm smile of his, stroked her cheek and said, "But Kelly, honey… you are different."

 

And she believed him.  He had no problem telling her his life story, warts and all.  How he felt when his mother died, his nightmares from Vietnam, the day he was committed to the VA.  Even his real first name.

 

All of this, she could handle.  They were a part of who he was, and his telling her his deepest secrets only made her love him more.

 

But what about the rest?  The days where, as Murdock had put it, he "got a little depressed?" The type of days that put him in the VA in the first place?   Sure, his meds limited the number of 'those days', but they still happened occasionally.  Was she ready for that?  Was she ready for that to be her life, not knowing from one day to the next how things would go? 

 

And what about having children?  Was she ready to either give up that dream, or have them anyway, knowing that some days their daddy might not be there for them?  That sometimes he might stay in bed all day, with the covers over his head, shutting out the world?  Shutting out her?

 

Kelly cried silently as she stared out the window, her heart aching.   She didn't even bother to wipe away the tears.

 

What do you do when you find the love of your life, but you can't be with him?

 

 

end

 


All My Loving by Sockie

 

 


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