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Summary: 19 years since leaving the team, Amy’s in trouble, the team track her down but get a bit more than they bargained for, the past is thrown back at them, they find out the real reason she left the team.
Warnings: No Hannibal, this is kind of set in present day, usual A Team violence and some swearing (the F word appears once), and it could get a little mushy at one stage.
Notes: This is the first fic I ever wrote and appreciate it might not be that original. I got the idea to write this, from a message that was posted on the Shrine. We were discussing the “new” A Team movie, and someone posted why don’t they set it in present day and use the original actors. So this is set in 2003, it’s kind of my A Team movie (well the bare bones of one) – Sadly there is no Hannibal as GP has died but I’ve based it around the actor’s actual ages in 2003, to what their characters would approximately be. It is also based on Amy leaving early 1984 (although White Ballot was shown late 1983) I always like to think she was with the team nearly 18 months.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the A Team and I’ve not made a penny from this, I just do it for the jazz!
It was a late September day, in 2003, the weather was blustery but the sun was shining and Face, BA and Murdock stood by a tombstone in full dress uniform. They each had their heads bowed as if in private thoughts and prayers and before them on the stone the words read:
Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith
1 June 1928 ~ 25 September 1995
Wherever he be,
May his plans come together,
Always lives the jazz
Now firmly in their fifties, Face, BA and Murdock were trying to lead what they called “normal” lives, since their pardons. However, they were never too far away from one another, call it old habit, and whatever they were doing, every year on 25th September they would meet at their Colonel’s grave to pay their respect. Frankie would usually join them but on this particular day, he’d had other commitments, which he just couldn’t get out of. So the three of them stood there, in their own private prayers to the Colonel.
That evening, returning from Hannibal’s grave, Face was watching his TV in a rather sombre mood, flicking through the channels when he came across the local news. He just caught the last part of it. He hadn’t heard that name in rather a long time. He’d stopped watching out for her along time ago.
“A freelance reporter, believed to be that of Amy Allen, feared to be missing on the borders of Mexico, although no one can confirm these rumours, the paper she had close relations with can not currently confirm her whereabouts.” The newsreader went on in the background. Face picked the phone up immediately and dialled Murdock’s number. It didn’t ring for long.
“Murdock, put on the news.” As he spoke, Face flicked the television channels to see if he could find any more news reports, to give him further information.
“Oh, hi Face, missed me already? I only left you an hour ago.”
“Murdock, shut up a minute, it’s Amy and I think she’s in trouble.”
With her hands and feet tied, Amy for the first time in a long while felt pretty much beyond hope. The local authorities had refused to believe her when she’d tried to prove that a group of rebels were based locally and terrorising the local community. She’d tried to do something, but had ended up being dragged from her rented apartment and was now in some stinking vile lockup, which was hot, dark and causing her despair. She had no idea how long she’d been there, she felt grubby from the stickiness of her sweat and she was thirsty and hungry. Although her captures would occasionally come in and force water down her throat, it didn’t quite quench her thirst.
Suddenly the door swung open, sunlight beamed in making her squint her eyes, as she wasn’t use to the light. Angry male voices were giving orders and a young woman was thrown into the shed with her. She could barely work out the figure that was being tied opposite her. It was quite dark but as Amy’s eyes readjusted, she could make out that the young woman was wearing a black eye and cut lip as if she’d put up a fight.
“Amanda, is that you?” Amy whispered.
“Yes…” the young woman groaned.
“Quiet” shouted a man in a Mexican accent. “You do not talk or I cut your throats”. Then he slammed the door shut. She dare not say a word for fear of either of them being harmed but thoughts rushed through her head frantically. ‘Did she manage to hide the bag? Had she been successful to hide it safely? Just in case’.
After a long period of silence, the young woman spoke. “Mom, are we going to die?”
“shhh…Amanda, please” Amy quickly responded. She had no idea what to tell her daughter. Amy had been in difficult situations before, when she was on the team, but somehow they’d always got out of the mess. The team were experts in their field, trained soldiers; there wasn’t a tight hole they couldn’t get out of.
Now, the only men she’d ever known in her life, who would have been able to get her out of this crisis, who would have given her a small glimpse of hope, weren’t here and they didn’t know she was here. She didn’t even know where they were, if they were even alive. It had been along time since she’d even seen some sort of record or report to confirm that they were alive. Their coverage in the newspapers had gradually dropped since she’d left the team. She rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She could feel tears welling beneath her eyelids, but she tried to hold it in, she felt hopeless. Think, Amy, think she said to herself.
Amy was awoken from her stupor with the sound of an explosion outside and a commotion from the angry Mexican capturers. How long had she been unconscious? Suddenly the door opened and light shone in so bright that Amy had to squint her eyes because of the brightness. A figure entered the lockup, it seemed like a black shadow against the light.
“Amy!” the voice shouted.
She recognised the voice.
“Face?” Amy said in astonishment. Her voice was hoarse from a dry throat and lack of speech. She could feel tears well in her eyes. They were tears of hope.
“You alright, Amy?” as he bent down to untied her hands he flashed her his smile. It hadn’t changed. She put her arms around him and held him so tight, in relief. ‘Thank you’ she thought.
“Please, untie Amanda now, I can do my feet.”
“Who?” Face hadn’t noticed the young woman opposite Amy, who was also drowsy from dehydration.
“Amanda, she’s my daughter”. Amy pointed in her direction. “I think she needs water.”
‘Amy had a daughter?’ He thought. Face in a little state of shock, slung his automatic rifle over his left arm, grabbed the girl and put her in a fireman’s lift over his right shoulder and tried to support a weak Amy through the door. Right outside was an army green jeep, with its canopy over it. They climbed into the back and Amy instantly noticed BA in the driving seat.
“Murdock! Now!” Face shouted. And within seconds, an explosion was triggered off in one of the far buildings; Murdock appeared from his cover of another vehicle and jumped into the back of the jeep too.
“Put your foot down Big Guy,” he confirmed he was ready to depart.
Face threw Amy a bottle of water. “Here, you two probably need this” and then turned to look back out the jeep ready to fire his automatic rifle.
Amy took one large gulp, quenching her thirst and then passed the water to the young woman, Amanda, who needed it most. She was absolutely dumbfounded; she really didn’t know what to say.
“Later, Amy, we’ll talk later!”
BA put his foot down and the jeep sped away being followed in hot pursuit by the Mexican renegades. There was so much commotion, men jumping into jeeps, the dust and noise, gunfire and explosions. It looked like chaos from out of the back of the jeep.
She looked at the three men she’d last seen nearly twenty years ago. They had aged, Murdock had maybe put on a little bit of weight and his hair was a little shorter, with flecks of grey, what hair he had left, she couldn’t quite tell because he was still wearing a baseball cap and a leather flying jacket, but it was a different jacket. BA had lost the Mohawk; instead his hair was closely shaved all over. Again there were flecks of white. He still had his beard, but it was trimmer, sort of what was in fashion nowadays. He wore slightly less gold on around his neck. And Face, his hair was shorter but the same colour, with only a small amount of distinguishing grey in the sides. Like the others, he had more age lines in his face, but he was still incredibly handsome. If anything he’d changed the least.
“WAIT!” Amy shouted. It suddenly dawned on her that there was someone missing! BA almost put the brakes on but apparently thought better of it, with the enemy closely pursuing. “Where’s Hannibal?”
Face looked at her. Murdock looked at her; BA glanced back but then put his eyes back onto the dirt track road. She didn’t know.
“He died, Amy.” Murdock was the first to speak, “sometime ago.” He looked at her with his puppy dog eyes look and put his hand on her knee as if to say but we’re all right.
Amy was speechless. The Colonel was dead? She opened her mouth as she was about to ask how, what, where and when, but Face chipped in.
“Can we explain this later?”
“But he’s with us Amy, always with us, in spirit. He was only telling me the other day...”
“Murdock, you crazy fool, if I have to tell you one more time, he ain’t with us in spirit you mudsucker. I’m gonna feed you my fist, man!” BA growled. The jeep was driving at great speed on a very bumpy dirt track road and it’s 5 passengers where being shaken about inside of it.
“See, Murdock, now look what you’ve gone and done” Face smirked at Murdock.
“And you Faceman, I told you no plane!” BA argued still concentrating on the road in front.
“BA if we’d driven here, Amy might have been dead already. We couldn’t take that gamble, I thought I’d explained this to you.”
“You didn’t even ask me fool. I would’ve got on a plane, if that fool weren’t flying it!”
The bickering had started. The three of them were squabbling like school children again! Amy and Amanda watched in silence but for only a short while.
“Will you guys just knock it off!” Amy shouted, firmly butting in between them. Positioning herself right between Murdock and Face and gave a disapproving look to BA, as if the schoolteacher had just come across the playground to split them up.
The three of them looked at each other. Face even winked at Murdock and Murdock grinned back. BA gave his giggle briefly in the front of the jeep, still concentrating on the road ahead. They were all thinking ‘yeah that’s Amy all right, she hasn’t changed’.
Amy use to be the one that got in the middle of the bickering and split them up. Mainly because she used to get pretty fed up by three grown men squabbling like children and Hannibal would just sit in the van chuckling at them, like it was some sort of entertainment. But weren’t they supposed to be friends? Sometimes she just got in there quick enough before it just kicked off. She was never quite sure if it could really get serious sometimes.
The silence was very quickly cut with an explosion right outside the jeep, making them get thrown about inside the jeep.
“Shit, that was close” Face quickly reacted, positioning himself at the back of the jeep and started firing. Murdock jumped into the passenger seat, stuck his head out of the window and started firing his rifle too.
“Amanda, stay right back and stay low,” Amy shouted at her. “Don’t move, you hear me?” Amanda nodded.
Amy joined Face at the back of the jeep, where a wooden box of grenades was ready for her. There were about twenty in the box.
“Use them wisely, kid,” Face grinned.
‘Still calling me kid after all this time’ Amy thought to herself and took one out of the box pulled the pin and threw it, but not very well. It exploded a little closer to them than they’d liked. Face and Amy ducked down behind the tail of the jeep.
“You’re supposed to be aiming for the bad guys behind us!” Face said sarcastically and pointed to the closely pursuing vehicles.
“Give me a break, Face, it’s been nearly twenty years since I threw one these things.” But she was determined not to let them down. She picked up another grenade, waited patiently for the following vehicle to be in a better position.
“Do I get four or five seconds? Remind me?” she said winking at Face. She pulled the pin and threw the grenade not waiting for the answer. It exploded right under the wheel of the pursuing jeep. The jeep lurched up in the air, rolling over and came crashing down at the side of the road, upside down. The dazed passengers of the vehicle quickly departed their mode of travel before it exploded!
“Yes!” Pulling her fist from the air and smiling at Face.
It wasn’t long before they’d eliminated their pursuers and before more could catch up, BA turned off the road and parked it behind some cover of undergrowth. The jeep being the camouflage green wasn’t going to be easy to spot but BA and Murdock quickly jumped out anyway and covered the vehicle with branches and camouflage they’d set up earlier that morning and then jumped back into their seats in the jeep.
“Right everybody, lets just sit tight for a minute,” Face said to the group. He was in command now. The Lieutenant. He made the orders.
“You don’t know how glad I am to see you guys,” Amy said with an air of relief in her voice. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She hugged each of them the best she could in the back of a jeep. It had been too long since she’d last seen them and was so glad to be with them now. She really didn’t know how to show it.
“But Hannibal dead, how? Was it in on a mission? What? Tell me you guys!”
“He died of cancer,” Face replied. “But you know Hannibal, he wasn’t going to let some doctor prod him with needles and give him drugs that would make him live longer, but affect his quality of life. He was on the jazz and he wanted it to stay that way. So he didn’t tell us. And was taken from us quite suddenly really”. Face sighed. It was probably best Hannibal had done what he’d done. A cure wasn’t guaranteed. The cancer had spread apparently and within a couple of months he’d deteriorated rapidly. And to go through chemotherapy just to live a bit longer, but not necessarily be “better” wasn’t the way Hannibal had intended to die. He wanted to live by the jazz and die by it.
“When did he die?”
“Eight years ago now. September 1995,” Murdock said sadly. BA sat quietly in the front seat of the jeep.
“Eight years!” Amy was stunned. “Why didn’t you guys tell me? Why didn’t you let me know?” Amy looked at Face as she asked the last part to her questions.
“I tried to get hold of you, for the funeral, but I seemed to come across a dead end. I left messages at the LA Courier for you,” Face lied. He hadn’t really tried that hard at all. He hadn’t been sure, even back then, if he really wanted to see Amy. She’d left a hole in his life. But he realised now, as he looked at her sad face, that he should have tried to find her, she would have wanted to pay her respects to the Colonel. The guys, especially Face, over the years had kept an eye out in the media for Amy, mainly out of interest and to make sure she was doing OK. Amy hadn’t worked at the LA Courier for years, she’d gone freelance and Face should have known that but she wasn’t going to raise it.
“Yeah and Stockwell” BA growled “that mudsucker had only just given us our pardons before Hannibal had died. He didn’t get much of a life, feeling free.”
“mmm…Stockwell? You’re gonna have to update me on that one? I got snippets, but that’s why at one point I really did think you guys were dead!”
The team fell silent. Amy wasn’t sure if they were listening for vehicles or signals of the bad guys approaching. But she decided to keep the conversation going, they’d soon tell her to shut up if they needed to.
“Well you guys are looking great.”
“Hey, you’re not looking so bad yourself, sweetheart,” Murdock winked at her in his way.
Amy still had her figure, her hair was still shoulder length, without a hint of grey, thanks to hair colourings today, but like the others age lines showed in her face. But she was still pretty.
“Gosh, I think I need a good shower and some clean clothes, I feel like crap!”
“Its taken Face a few years to get over the fact he’s over 50!” BA sniggered. “He’s dealing with it better now!”
“That’s fine coming from you BA!” Face responded.
“So have you guys retired, as the A Team I mean, or still doing jobs? Have you married, I mean settled down, now you’re free so to speak?”
“Well, none of us are married! I mean, Amy, imagine Face married?” Murdock was the first to reply and chuckled with his comments. Face threw him a dirty look.
“So you still haven’t changed then?” Amy teased Face, but before he could respond, Murdock carried on.
“We got the pardons a couple of months before Hannibal got sick, we were thinking of carrying on but had to give up any jobs once he became ill. And then well, it didn’t quite seem the same without the Colonel. Almost like the Jazz had died with him, so we decided to properly retire after Hannibal’s funeral. Admittedly we had been starting to think about hanging up the capes before he died, we weren’t exactly getting any younger.”
“Ah man, capes? Here we go again!” BA rolled his eyes. “We’re not superheroes, you crazy fool!”
“And Stockwell knew we weren’t getting any younger, heck he was getting old too! So luckily we weren’t on many missions before Hannibal died.” Face added. “Also when you become the right side of the law, it doesn’t become so appealing to keep breaking it.”
“Face, you’re always breaking the law” BA growled again.
“Yeah, it really wasn’t funny, the bad guys didn’t seem to be getting older, and we were.” Murdock added, before Face could respond to BA’s comment.
“And then when BA couldn’t even hold his own, we knew we really were in trouble.” Face turned and thumbed a point at BA.
“I can hold my own sucker!”
“Really? What about that time in…”
“Face, you were losing your touch!”
“Guys, guys! Not now, plleeeaase!” Amy interjected and separated them again. There was silence between them briefly.
“Anyway, what about you, Amy? Pretty daughter here, must have a dad?” Face was intrigued; he hadn’t spotted a wedding ring on Amy’s hand. He winked at the pretty young woman. Amanda smiled back, still silently watching the four of them catch up on old times. She was still feeling sick from the dehydration, but the water that she was slowly drinking was gradually bringing her back to her senses.
“Oh, I never married. Never quite found someone to fit the bill.” Amy fidgeted uneasily and laughed trying to make a joke of it. “And besides I was always moving around with my job.” Amy had found it hard to find someone anywhere near the four guys she’d hung around with for just eighteen months of her life. They’d either not been strong enough, clever enough, crazy enough or as handsome. No one had ever come close.
“Dad run out on Mom, when I was little, I don’t even remember him.” Amanda felt she’d chip in, she was starting to feel better and she’d been listening intently. “I’m nineteen in a couple of months.” Amy could see all of a sudden Face doing the math. After all he was good with figures! Numbers as well as the feminine kind! He starred at Amy and then looked back at Amanda. She couldn’t quite reach to kick Amanda to her shut up, especially without it looking obvious.
“Amanda, the guys don’t need to know about this now.”
“Hey we’ve got plenty of time! We’re not moving from here yet…go on, kid.” Face was intrigued to hear the young woman’s story.
“It’s been me and Mom since I can remember. Mom doesn’t say much about my dad really,” Amanda continued. “But she was always telling me when I was little that I have my father’s eyes.” Shit Amy thought! Amanda was probably unaware that she’d put her size five’s right in it!
Face looked at her face and although it was wearing a black eye and a split lip that would heal, her face was pretty. She was pretty like her mother he thought, but there was something familiar about her face. He looked straight into her eyes and starring right back at him were these beautifully bright blue eyes. His eyes. She even had his hair colouring. He turned and looked at Amy. She could see in his face he’d worked it out and he wasn’t happy but he held it together. She tried to smile at him as if to say, I was going to tell you. Could Murdock & BA see what he saw? Amy thought. Did they know why she had really left 19 years ago?
“Mom wants me to go to college in LA, so we were supposed to be coming home, until we got in some trouble. She’s told me so much about you guys,” Amanda continued unaware of her blunder.
“All good I hope,” Murdock smiled at her.
“Oh yeah, she told me how great you all are and some of the amazing scams you’ve pulled off. Murdock’s the crazy one but can fly anything,” She looked at Murdock and then to Face. “Face was the scammer, pretty much con anything out of anyone,” Face gave her a concerned smile, “That’s Moms words, not mine!” She added as she saw his _expression. “BA just was a genius with machines and Hannibal with his plans! And how Hannibal was always on the jazz! I’m so glad I’ve got to meet you all. Shame about Hannibal though, would have loved to have met him,” Amanda was excited now, talking to the actual guys her Mom had told her all about over the years, almost as if she was now on the jazz.
Face sat there silently in the back of the jeep listening intently to Amanda, but he was staring at Amy, almost like he was burning holes into her skin. Amy could tell he was furious; anger was building beneath his skin. But to the rest of the team, he was hiding it well.
How long they’d all been sitting chatting, was anyone’s guess. With a nod from Face, Murdock looked out the window of the jeep, jumped out and went to take a look around. He promptly returned
“Hey Faceman, I think it’s clear maybe we should make a move”.
BA started the jeep and drove them off down the dirt track road. They travelled pretty much in silence except for Murdock’s singing.
They all piled out of the jeep once they’d arrived at their destination. It was an old run down building, with steps outside leading to a room on the second floor. The guys had made it their base in their search for Amy.
Face grabbed Amy firmly by the arm and walked her up the stairs. Amy could see that he looked liked he was going to explode; his temper had been gradually boiling in the jeep. ‘Boy, he hasn’t lost his temper,’ she thought. They all walked up the stairs, following Amy and Face through the door into a large room; there was another room at the back, which Face took Amy to and slammed the door shut. Murdock and BA sensed that they were probably better off staying outside. Obviously Amy and Face needed to talk they thought, they too had begun to do the maths!
BA took Amanda back down the stairs and round the side of the building to talk. He thought that maybe she’d better not hear what was being said just yet. Murdock decided he’d just stay inside the empty large room, just in case he was needed. Face would never hit a woman, but if these two decided to rip shreds off one another to a point of no return he might be required. It also gave him the opportunity to eavesdrop.
Face stood in front of Amy pretty much the colour red. Amy stood there unable to know what to say, but she knew what was coming.
“And when were you going to tell me, Amy? That I had a daughter?” His voice was raised so much Murdock had no fear of overhearing.
“Face, please let me explain.” Amy shifted uneasily. This is not how she’d imagined he’d find out. Every birthday of her daughters, Amy had worried how she was going to tell Face, if she ever found him and this way had never entered her head.
“Explain? What? Nineteen years! She’s nineteen years old, Amy! Don’t you think I had a right to know?” Face shouted with fury in his voice and was almost nose-to-nose with her and then he moved back, away from her as if he couldn’t bear to be near her, even touch her.
“Look,” she tried to approach Face but he just stepped further back, moving away from her. “When I left, I didn’t know. I didn’t know I was pregnant! I was in the job three months before I actually realised,” she tried to justify herself, not quite being able to look him in the eye. “I couldn’t quite believe it myself, I sort of hoped it would go away!”
“Well it obviously didn’t, did it?” Face turned his back on her. He just couldn’t face her. He really wasn’t prepared for this and the anger inside of him. He’d come to rescue Amy, not find out he had a daughter, family!
“Face, I thought you’d run a mile. And you weren’t exactly in the right situation were you? Running from MPs, wanted by the government? You had a different girl on your arm each week…if I’d turned up and said ‘oh and by the way here’s your daughter!’ you’d have freaked!”
“But why nineteen years?” He voice was still raised with anger. He wasn’t prepared to reason.
“Oh Face, I dunno, it just got harder every year.” Amy replied, anger starting to appear in her own voice, but she tried to calm herself. “When I first found out I was pregnant, I did think about finding you. I really did. But Face.” She stopped. Tears were starting to well in her eyes; she couldn’t help but tell the truth. “Face, I wanted you to want me for me, not for a baby!”
“What?” His voice calmed slightly, only momentarily.
“I wanted you to love me, Face”. She was crying now, she fought to hold the tears back but it didn’t work. “I wanted you to love me for me and not because I was carrying your child! That’s why I didn’t tell you! I couldn’t bear the thought of you rejecting me, us, me and my baby!”
The room went silent. Face paced around the room, his anger returning and not looking like calming down at all. Then Amy decided she wasn’t going to take this, up unto this point she had remained rather calm. She walked up to him, anger now filling her own body. Maybe he needs to know exactly how I feel, she thought, after nineteen years! She swung him round to face her and looked him straight in his eyes.
“Hell, Face, I’m surprised over the years, you haven’t had any other bastards knock on your door, screaming daddy!” Amy said spitefully her anger rising.
“Hey, that’s out of line!”
“Face, if you’d kept that,” she pointed at his crotch. “Where it belonged, in your pants! We wouldn’t be here talking like this right now! Hell, I may have even still been on the team!” Her voice spiteful, raised with anger and her body was shaking, adrenalin flowing through her.
“YOU seduced me Face! You couldn’t leave it, as it was, could you? And you knew as you were doing it, it would jeopardise me being on the team!” Anger still filled her voice. “I was just another notch on your bed post! Wasn’t I? You had no intention of taking it any further than a casual fling!”
“Hey, it takes two to tango, honey!”
Amy slapped him hard across his face; she was so angry, she just wanted to hurt him. Even then, he couldn’t deny it; he couldn’t maybe admit he did have feelings for her back then. The memories and the pain came flooding back into her heart. Face was a little taken back by this. It wasn’t something he was expecting, even though her fiery temper was starting to bring back old memories. He held his hand to where she’d hit him, shocked by its impact; it didn’t calm his anger or Amy’s.
“I loved you, I loved all of you. You guys were my whole world. And I stupidly thought I was going to be different, the friendship we had, Face, we were close.” She spat her words at him through gritted teeth. “I thought I was going to mean more to you, Face, than a cheap fling!”
“You did mean more to me.” He became sincere, his words softened.
“So why’d ya let me leave, Face? Huh? Why’d you let me leave, you fucking bastard!” and she ran at him with force, pushing at him, surprising Face with her actions and her words. Amy’s voice was still raised, but she was trying to calm herself. “You knew I’d want more than just a one night stand. I wanted more than to be another one of your damn bimbos! But you still did it, didn’t you? I wasn’t prepared to stick around, Face, and watch you with one girl after another, not after what had happened between us! You knew I had to leave, you knew it! But I still gave you the choice.”
“A choice! I don’t recall a choice!” Face spat angrily back at her.
“Huh? You bastard! I came to you remember? I came to you when we’d got back from New Mexico and I asked you if you wanted me to stay. I told you I’d been offered a job, it was short notice, and it would mean leaving, the team and LA. But I would leave if you wanted me to. Or I would stay. I would do what you wanted, Face. I gave you the choice!” She’d pulled him round to face her as he’d turned his back on her again, unable to look into her tearful eyes. “But you broke my heart, didn’t you? To this day, I don’t know how you truly felt about me!” Tears streamed from her eyes, and Face was left a little stunned. He really wasn’t sure what to say. “I was a damn fool!”
“No you weren’t!” Guilt entered his heart.
“Yes I was! You didn’t want me Face. You didn’t want me around, so I went! I took the damn job and got as far as I could from you! Leaving behind what mattered to me most in life, the team. And when I found out I was pregnant, I did really think about telling you. You have to believe me.” Amy started to calm her words down. “But Face, you and commitment at that time just didn’t mix. The word relationship doesn’t even exist in your vocabulary! And if later, I’d turned up with a baby in my arms. Hell, I just really didn’t know what you would do. I couldn’t have you break my heart again!”
She was right Face thought. Back then he probably would have freaked initially at the thought of a child. His child. But Amy of all people should have known the most important thing to Face was family. Because he just didn’t have any. Well, he had a sister now but Amy didn’t know that. But to leave it 19 years, he now regretted more than ever not trying to find her.
“But you knew how important family would mean to me, Amy.” Face looked at her deep into her eyes, sadness filled his own. “Surely?”
“I know. And I am sorry,” Amy wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Doesn’t bring back nineteen years though?” He snarled.
“And if you’d really wanted me, you would have found me, Face! I certainly wasn’t going to come running back to you!”
He had seduced Amy all those years ago because he just couldn’t help himself any longer. As friends they’d become close, she had been the only woman he could truly relax around and then it came to a point where he wanted her, wanted to know what it would be like to be with her, to the point that he couldn’t stop himself. He knew she’d want more than a casual fling, she wouldn’t have agreed otherwise but he hadn’t been able to truly confess his feelings for her and stupidly he had let her go. In doing so he’d lost a good friend and the only woman he’d been able to be himself with. It had hurt that day she’d left.
In light of everything, Face realised he hadn’t really been in a suitable situation to raise a child. Being chased by the government and then in Stockwell’s days, his daughter’s life may have been at even greater risk. It could have been used against him. Maybe it had been for the better he hadn’t known, nobody had known. But nineteen years just made him feel sick! Nineteen years he couldn’t get back.
“Well she has to know. And she has to know now!” and he grabbed Amy firmly by her arm again and started to walk towards the door. “And you’re gonna tell her.” He still wanted to blame Amy; punish her.
“Face, no, lets get back to LA first. Not now. Please”. Amy tried to pull her arm away from him, but his grip was strong.
“No. Now. She has to know now! I’ve wasted nineteen years and I am not wasting any more!”
Face flung the door open angrily and they both shot past Murdock who was seated against a table although he looked like he’d just moved there.
They went outside and found Amanda and BA talking. BA realised he was no longer needed, nodded to Amy and Face and departed without a word to join Murdock back in the building. Amy was wiping her eyes trying to get herself together.
“Hey babe, look there’s something I have to tell you.”
“Mom?” She could see that the two of them had been arguing and that her mother was upset.
“Please hun, let me speak. I really should have told you this sooner.”
“Much sooner,” Face added angrily.
“And you really have to believe me I thought I was doing what was best for you. But your dad didn’t run out of you when you were little, honey. He didn’t even know I was pregnant.” Amy was still trying to wipe tears away from her eyes, but she couldn’t stop them from flowing. Her daughter hugged her tightly, to comfort her.
“Mom it’s OK! I sort of guessed it a little while ago, anyway.”
“Yeah. Well sort of.”
“And you’re not mad at me?” Amy worried.
“No Mom, but we should have talked about this.”
Face watched to two women embrace, he realised how close they were. He was trying to think what he would say to his daughter, now a young woman.
“I’m sorry, so sorry, but I should have told you the truth years ago.” Amy replied. “You will forgive me, won’t you?”
“Of course” Amanda looked over her mother’s shoulder and stared at Face. She could see the anger in his face, but still gave him a smile. “Does he want to get to know me, Mom?” She asked her mother quietly so that he could not hear, still in their embrace. “Or is he just mad that he’s a father?”
“Yes, yes, he wants to be your dad. I’m sure of that.” Amy reassured her daughter, she broke the embrace and looked into her daughter’s eyes. “He’s mad at me, not you, sweetheart.”
Amanda nodded at her mother and walked nervously over to Face. “Hi, I believe you’re my dad?” and gave him a huge smile before wrapping her arms around him to hug him, she didn’t know what else to do in this situation, this wasn’t the way she’d ever planned in seeing her dad.
Face realised he didn’t need to worry about what he was going to say, as he returned her embrace.
‘Well that went better than I thought it would’, Amy thought. “Look I’ll leave you two to talk a minute,” Amy said wiping her eyes. “I’ll go find Murdock and BA.” And she climbed back up the concrete stairs to the room where BA and Murdock were waiting patiently and talking quietly among themselves.
Murdock stood up and walked over to greet her. Amy put her arms around him. She really needed a hug.
“Amy, sweetheart, I always wondered whether something had gone on with you and Faceman”. He was trying to reassure her. “He was acting very weird for quite a while when you left us.” Murdock remembered the rate Face had gone through women after she had left, faster than his usual standard, but thought best not to share this with Amy.
“I bet Hannibal had a clue, man!” BA came towards Amy to also comfort her. “He just didn’t let on!”
“I’ve been really bad though haven’t I?” Amy let go of Murdock and turned towards BA. “I should have tried to find you guys sooner. I should have told him years ago!” Amy started to cry again. “I’ve really missed you guys.”
“Amy, man. What’s done is done. Don’t beat yourself up about it now. What you did maybe ain’t right. But you did it for certain reasons which were probably right to you at the time,” BA tried to reassure her in his old wise ways.
“Yeah Amy, Face wasn’t the commitment type and back then, we all don’t know how he would have reacted.” Murdock pitched in.
“And we were fugitives on the run, that ain’t no way to bring up a child. So you can’t blame yourself totally.” BA continued.
“Thanks BA, Murdock!” Amy knew that if she had BA on her side that was always a good thing.
“He’ll calm down later, you’ll see!” Murdock gave her another one of his huge grins and hugged her again.
“Look, lets get down to business. As we ain’t got much time. We can talk about this later. Amanda said she’d stored that bag and she told me where. So we need to get that bag and get outta here!” BA said firmly. BA had been discussing the bag with Murdock before Amy had come up into the room, and both were interested to know its contents.
“What’s in the bag, Amy?” Murdock asked intrigued.
Amy wiped her tears and took a deep breath, regaining her composure.
“Well, among our personal belongings that I wanted us to take home, it’s got a copy of the photos I’ve taken proving what’s going on with our ‘friends’ up the road. They are only the negatives. But I knew I had to keep something just in case the originals got in the wrong hands. I was about to deliver them, when they grabbed me.” Amy replied. “Basically, the local authorities here are all bought by these slimeballs, so I went to the nearest city, if you can call it that, up the road and started talking to the authorities there. They weren’t going to do anything until they saw proof. Which I got, but was never able to deliver.”
“So we need to get that bag then?” BA replied, punching one of his fists into his other hand.
“I probably shouldn’t have said what I said in the jeep, you worked it out right?” Amanda and Face were sitting on a wall outside the concrete building. Face actually seemed more nervous than the young woman who was sitting beside him, but Amanda was feeling equally as nervous, even if she may not have been showing it.
“Yeah, sort of.” Face smiled at the pretty young woman. He was feeling much calmer now, than his earlier argument with Amy. “Why are you both here? Anyhow? I can’t believe Amy, uh, your mother, would have put you in so much danger.” Face’s anger started to return as he looked at the girl’s bruised face but he tried to hide it from Amanda, he realised these two women had a strong bond and it wouldn’t be wise to get in between it. However the thoughts whizzed around in his head, if he hadn’t found Amy, he never would have known about his daughter and the pair of them could have both been murdered here and he’d have been none the wiser.
“Well, we came out here a few months back, Mom riding on a story, as usual. And well she got more than she bargained for.” Amanda confessed. “It’s not Mom’s fault, though, that we got into trouble.”
“Really?” Face didn’t believe his daughter, he knew Amy well enough, even if it had been a long time ago now.
“No, no, I told her we needed to get the evidence. She wasn’t sure about getting involved, but I knew it would eat away at her otherwise, she couldn’t leave those families up there in those goon’s hands.”
“So you convinced her to get the proof?”
“Er, not really, I kinda went and took the photos myself, ” she fidgeted. “Without her knowing it. It’s a hobby of mine. Photography, that is, not lying to my Mom!”
“Oh.” Face was surprised. “The same sense of adventure as your Mom then?”
Amanda smiled back at him and then there was a brief silence between them as they tried to take in the thought of each other. Amanda finally meeting her father, and Face realising he had a rather adventurous daughter.
“What happened between the two of you, apart from the obvious?” Amanda broke the silence, as she was intrigued; her mother had always insisted that she’d left the team because she was offered a very good job in Jakarta.
“Er, lets just say, my male instinct got the better of me, and I should have known better.” Face winked. “It is kind of my fault, your mother left the team.” He finally admitted.
“Oh!” Amanda realised Face was not going to divulge further. “I had sort of worked it out a little while ago that you might be my father. And when we got to LA, I was going to try and find you, with or without Mom’s help.”
“I’m sorry, I really truly didn’t know and I don’t know how I’m going make up for it.” Face replied, a little sadness in his voice. “I feel I’ve missed so much of your life already.”
“Well, I don’t know if Mom was worrying about that or not, but I know I have every birthday, Christmas, school play, etc. recorded!! You don’t know how embarrassing that is! So you can soon catch up, if you really want to?”
“I’d really like that.” Face chuckled. He couldn’t quite believe how young and bright she was, ‘just as intelligent and lively as her mother’, thought Face.
“Honestly, you don’t have to!”
Murdock shortly returned with the large luggage bag slung over his shoulder. Face and Amanda followed him up the concrete steps to the main room of the building.
“Gee what’s in here, sweetheart? It weighs a tonne!”
“As I said, our belongings, the stuff we want to take home.” Amy took the bag and opened it up. She rummaged for a while and then waved an envelope and a couple of books, which looked like journals in front of everyone. “Ah ha! Now we just need to get these to the authorities”.
“Can’t we just post them or something?” Face protested. “We really need to be getting a move on, before those slimeballs find us.”
“No Face, I need to know these get to where they are supposed to. In fact, I want them copied again!” Amy reacted crossly to Face’s protesting.
“Amy, we are getting a bit too old for this. Face might be right.” Murdock wasn’t too sure he was keen either. They’d come for Amy and got her and they were quite keen to just get out of there before any more troubled started. Face was right; those slimeballs were likely to show up at some point.
“No!” Amy turned to BA. “BA, there are at least twenty hungry children up there, working as slaves! We need to make sure this gets cleared up. Those families up there are in a desperate situation, they’re beyond hope. They need our help. They are being forced to help these crooks run their drugs operation!” Amy then turned to include Face and Murdock into her pleadings. “I’m not asking for you guys to go in there guns blasting, just help me deliver these to where they’ve gotta go!” Amy stood there. The team didn’t look like they were going to budge on this one.
“Well I’m not going until it’s done. You guys can leave without me. Just take Amanda with you.”
“Kids, you say?” BA had been mulling it over. “I hate hearing about kids being mistreated. Face, we’ve got ta do something”.
“Oh boy, why did I know you were going to say that,” Face whined. He looked at Amy. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew all you had to mention was the kids and you’d have BA on your side.”
“Yep,” she smiled victoriously. Amy still knew how to manipulate them when she wanted to.
Two days later they were all on their way to catch a flight to LA. The packages had been delivered to the authorities and they’d gone in and cleared out the brutes and their drugs. The families were able to live as they had been before the creeps had showed up.
“I told you suckers, I ain’t going on no plane! This ain’t the way to the dock!” BA growled angrily as he drove the five of them in some worn out rental car. “There ain’t no rush, we can go by boat!”
“I told you BA, this is the way to the dock’s as well as the airport” Face lied. Face was sitting in the back of the car with Amy and Amanda, behind BA. Amanda sat in the middle of them; not that they needed some sort of mediator, but they were finding it hard to talk to one another. Face was still showing lack of signs of forgiveness towards Amy. His thoughts were still in turmoil.
“BA! Stop the car! I think I’ve forgotten our boarding cards for the boat!” Amy rummaged through her bag.
BA pulled over and as he did so, Face quickly stabbed him with a needle to give the juice he needed to fall asleep.
“Damn bugs.” BA rubbed at his neck, just as Face withdrew the needle. “You found them yet, Amy?”
“Er, yeah, here they are.” She lied, but she hadn’t needed to, BA was sleeping like a baby on the horn of the car.
“Nice work, Amy.” Face smiled at her, for the first time in the whole car journey.
“Always the horn big guy, always on the horn.” Murdock jumped out of the passenger side of the car and helped Face move BA over to the passenger seat.
“Will he be OK?” Amanda worried.
“Yeah, fine. He’ll be fine.” Amy tapped her daughter on her knee gently, as a sign of reassurance.
“You know, I hope I go before him!“
“Huh?” Murdock looked puzzled at Face’s comments, as they struggled to move BA into the passenger seat.
“I don’t fancy carrying his coffin up that isle! That’s why!” Face moaned. “Hannibal’s coffin was heavy enough and we had BA to help carry it!”
Once BA was firmly sat asleep in the passenger seat, Murdock jumped into the driver’s seat and drove them towards the Airport.
On the plane, Amy sat by the window next to Amanda, penning her story into her journal. Face sat next to Amanda and quietly they talked. Behind them BA was asleep by the window, his head resting against it, with a blanket over him. Murdock sat next to him singing with the in-flight radio and occasionally talking to the big guy, with the airhostess giving him frequently odd looks. Face had managed to get them upgraded, he was feeling rather pleased with himself, maybe he wasn’t quite losing his touch.
“So exactly how had you worked out, that I might be your dad then?”
Amy shot a glance at Face, but decided she’d let Amanda say what she had to say, she had a story to write and maybe Face deserved the truth.
“Well, you know I had sort of guessed you were my dad because Mom would talk about the four of you in such a way and I had worked it out, when I was born and everything to when she’d left the team, it had to be connected.” Amanda answered quietly. “I obviously knew BA wasn’t my dad and not Hannibal. Hannibal was the Colonel and she kinda respected his orders and she never talked about the relationship she had with him, like what she had with you and Murdock. So it had to be either of you two. She spoke about Murdock the most, but she always talked about him as if he was her big brother or something. So it left you and when she did talk about you, well she did seem rather sad. And the more I looked at pictures of you, she has only a few though, I knew you had to be my dad.”
“Right.” Face just listened; he could have listened all day. “And where are all these embarrassing home videos of you then?”
Face had started to take in his daughter’s appearance now it was sinking in he was a father, her father. She was wearing hipster jeans, which hung so low as the fashion these days that her belly button showed with her short tight t-shirt and it’s glittery motive. He wasn’t sure if he’d spied a small tattoo on her lower back. ‘Gees I’m going to have to watch her with boyfriends’ he thought to himself, ‘not one that are anything like I was at that age are getting near her’.
“Oh, they are all stored at Grandma’s,” Amanda answered. “Oh God! You know, Mom has every birthday of mine recorded, every Christmas with me opening my presents. She’s kept cards and lots of different keepsakes. Even my first shoes, I think. And the more I think about it, she kept them as if she knew it would be something my dad would want to see.” Amanda paused. “You would want to see them wouldn’t you?”
“I would love to watch your birthdays”. Face smiled. He looked across Amanda and watched Amy. She was still beautiful. Why had he let her go all those years ago? Commitment that’s why, Amy had been right, he couldn’t commit, not back then. Amy stood up, to squeeze past them. They all got out of their seats.
“Need to visit the restroom!” She said to excuse herself. Once Amy was out of earshot Amanda opened up her bag and got a photograph out of her purse and passed it to her father.
“Here, this is Mom, 9 months pregnant with me, taken the day I was due. I was apparently four days late,” Amanda chuckled. “She doesn’t know I’ve got it. But I kinda love it so much, I keep it on me.”
Face looked at the photograph, in it was Amy standing side on, showing off her voluptuous figure, what must have been in her kitchen of wherever she was staying. She was the young twenty seven year old woman he remembered last seeing. She still had her figure, as Face remembered her, although it was hugely distorted by her fuller breasts and a beautifully round bump where her flat stomach would have been. He stared at Amy’s pretty Face. What had he done? He should never have seduced her in New Mexico. They had been great friends, the one woman in his life he’d truly been able to talk to and be himself with, or he should have made her stay. She of all woman, understood his situation, the relationship could have worked. And well if it hadn’t at least they both could have said they’d tried, rather than to have lost her completely from his life. He had been the fool.
“She still loves you, you know.” Amanda whispered breaking Face from his trance.
Face looked at Amanda a little surprised and in disbelief, considering the heated argument they’d had, only a few days ago.
“I just know. She’s never been interested in anyone else. Yeah, sure boyfriends have come and gone. But they’ve never been you, well any of you really, so it’s not lasted. I mean it’s not as if she could forget about you, I’ve been starring her in the face the last nineteen years! Well, nearly nineteen years!” Amanda grinned.
Face looked at the beautiful young woman beside him and thought to himself, ‘did she have my smile too? Damn, he’d have to watch that too with the boyfriends to come’.
Face thought to himself long and hard on Amanda’s comments. Long ago he’d lost the one woman he’d only ever loved and it had left him broken hearted and very shortsighted. He’d flung himself into the army and with his dashing good looks and women falling all over him, he’d decided that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Besides he was enjoying himself. And then came along Amy, they’d became good friends and then as a fool he’d thrown away a good chance of happiness with one woman, because he was afraid of commitment, afraid of having it thrown back in his face again. But it had backfired, she’d left anyway because he couldn’t commit. When deep down if he was truly honest with himself, all he’d ever wanted was a family. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.
Face handed the photograph back to his daughter.
The plane touched down at LA Airport safely. BA was given a wheel chair for his “condition” as Face had charmed the airhostess and Murdock pushed him through the airport. BA was still asleep and probably wouldn’t wake up yet for another good hour. As they waited for their luggage to arrive, Face gently grabbed Amy’s arm and gestured for her to walk with him, just out of earshot from the others.
“Look, the other day was a bit heated. I probably said things I shouldn’t have said. I was angry,” Face was trying hard to spit his words out, what felt like for the first time he was feeling a little tongue-tied.
“Well, Face, it was understandable really. And I am truly sorry.” Amy squeezed his arm affectionately with her right hand. “I’m sorry for the things I said too.”
“Hey, lets not discuss it further, there’s nothing we can do about it, it’s in the past.” Face tried to gently stroke Amy’s hair away from her face, but she moved away from him slightly. “And, err, well, I’ve been talking to Amanda and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” He faced her square on and looked into her dark brown eyes, “Amy, I lost one woman long ago that I loved, which I couldn’t do anything about.”
“You mean Leslie?” Amy interrupted him.
“Yes. And then I lost you.” Face gently pulled Amy towards him, still gazing into her eyes. “Which was totally my fault. You were right. I should have told you how I felt about you back then. I should never have allowed you to leave.” He took a deep breath and moved his head towards hers, smiling gently as he was about to kiss her.
“No, Face, no” Amy pulled herself away from him, breaking her gaze into his blue eyes, a little taken back by his words, but she wasn’t going to fall for his charm, not again, not unless it counted for something. “You think that after all these years, I’ll just fall into your arms, huh?” She gave a little sarcastic laugh.
“Well, I thought we might be able to make up for old times.” He flashed his smile.
“I need to hear those three little words, Face.”
“What?” His smile dropped.
“You know, those three little words, you’re most afraid of. I need to hear them.” She was trying not to sound cross and keep her voice low. “And until I do, I am not falling for you. I put you out of my mind, a long time ago, Face, and you’re not coming back in, to break my heart again.” She gently kissed him on his lips, only a soft peck and then drew away and spoke a little more seductively, “Not unless you can prove to me, this is what you want. Remember Face, three little words.”
Amy walked over and grabbed her bag that had to her relief, conveniently swung by on luggage conveyer belt and walked out of the luggage collection area, to head through passport control. She walked away confidently, not turning around.
Murdock tapped him on the back playfully, to confirm they all had their luggage and that he understood what had just gone on.
“Oh, I like it. She’s playing with ya, Faceman!” Murdock grinned at Face, “She wants you to give chase.” Face gave Murdock a worried look.
“Amy! Get back here! I haven’t finished with you yet!” Face said quite crossly.
As Amy walked away from Face, her head held high, she had a cunning smile on her face, ‘oh this is going to be fun,’ she thought.
Authors Notes: I have two other stories linked to this one. The night Amy left, which I’ve called Sudden Departure, and Face and Amy’s “fling” based around the White Ballot episode, which once I’ve tweaked and de-mushed I might eventually post but it will more than likely be December (2006) time before I do.
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