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I Am Billy

I am Billy
by Caz aka The Coot of Doom

Rating: PG-13
Summary: As the title says - I am Billy. The world from an invisible dog's point of view.

I love my master. He's like a child and a man all rolled into one - I can play with him and not worry about hurting him but he still needs me to protect him at the same time. And I like to protect him, he says I make him feel safe when he's scared, keep him company when there's no one else about and when Ugly Mudsucka growls at him and tells him I'm not real I start barking until he lets go of my human because no one messes with my master, not with me here. I get to do things and see things that other dogs don't either, go off with him on missions in Ugly Mudsucka's kennel on wheels. He talks to me when we go back to the place with the strange humans, lets me sleep on his bed and doesn't mind if I chew all his covers - he says I don't get older so it's not my fault I still act like I'm young. He says it's a bit like how he feels sometimes, that he isn't as grown up as he looks.

My human says the reason why most people can't see me is because him and I are special and he likes it that way. He doesn't complain when I do things I shouldn't and no one tells me off for walking on the grass or chasing the birds. Colonel and Faceyman (and people think Fifi is a strange name?) think it's funny, they don't think I'm real either but unlike Ugly Mudsucka they don't say anything except for sometimes when Colonel wants my master to help - he has something called the jazz and sometimes he's on it. I thought maybe it's a bit like being on heat…I've never seen it and he always smells the same to me, but when he has jazz I normally have to go away until my human comes back. He says it's hard to explain Colonel's jazz but he said he thought it would be a lot like when I see a cat and want to chase it. I think I understand, I try to anyway even though going away scares me.

It scares me because I know I'm not like other dogs, I know that my human only sees me when he wants to and sometimes I get scared that one day he won't see me anymore. I told him one night when he was scared and didn't want to sleep and he just stroked me. I think it made him think about what would happen if he didn't see me anymore. The next night he said that he didn't know if he'd always see me, that one day he might stop, and it was my turn to think about what would happen, but he also told me other things that night. He said that I was special to him and he loved me very much and that even if he did stop seeing me he would never forget me because I was his Billy. I was his friend. For the first time I properly understood my master..

Now when Colonel has Jazz and I have to go away I don't worry as much, I just sit in the corner waiting for my human to come back and for him to take me home. Because, while he needs me I am real and when the day comes that he doesn't need me anymore I will lead a new life in his memory. I  cannot die if I wasn't alive in the first place, only fade into the background and wait in case he ever needs me again - and if he does then I'll be here because I am Billy.


I Am Billy by Caz