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A Sly Winkie
A story by Pam (and Tee), in honor of Nude Recreation Week.
Many thanks to Tee for her help with this story!
* * * *
guys, I figure we've got a week of R&R coming up. Any ideas about how to spend it? I thought we might do something
not talking another week of obstacle courses, are you,
BA's iron grip on the steering wheel showed plainly what he thought of that idea, but before he could say anything, Murdock, who'd been fidgeting and looking for something, chimed in with his own idea.
"Did you say "nude," as in "no clothes," Captain?"
"Are you sure that wasn't Weekly World News instead? I saw you reading that one the other day," Face said.
yeah, that was an article about Big Foot sightings near
"In-depth? Sure it wasn't tongue in cheek?"
"An in-depth cover story, Colonel, with pictures and everything, that laid bare the naked truth about nudist resorts, . . . although the pictures were kind of blurred in certain places so you'd didn't see any winkies or anything."
"Winkies!?? Everybody in this van wears clothes, Fool! All the time!"
"We can't wear them all the time, BA. We need to shower once in a while." Face used his smoothest delivery, but the glare he got would melt ice.
this is a weird suggestion, even coming from you."
grinned at the question. "Do you
mind if we don't answer that question,
Fearing he was losing control of the conversation when BA started to giggle, Murdock jumped in with both feet again. "Hey, I was just telling you about this expose' I read in the magazine last week. Since we have a week off, I thought it might be fun, something we haven't tried before. Where's your sense of adventure, guys? The article said nudist colonies and resorts are real hot right now."
"I should hope it's hot, Murdock, because standing around without any clothes on could be kind of breezy otherwise."
"Who's standin' around with no clothes on?"
"Calm down, BA, we're just talking." He wasn't really all that enthused, but the Colonel loved to fire up Face and BA. "So, Captain, just what exactly would we do during, what'd you say, Nude Recreation Week?"
"Well, all sorts of things, Colonel. Only difference is you don't wear clothes. There's swimming, and we've all been skinnydipping before. . . okay, maybe not BA, but I know you two have. . . although I'm not sure we'd want to do it for a whole week. All those prune wrinkles would probably end up being permanent after that long. But there's got to be all sorts of other things to do. . .
"Bicycling, maybe. . . Well, no, on second thought, that might be kind of painful. I mean, riding on those little bitty seats is painful enough *with* clothes. Besides, if you wear a helmet and shoes, does that really count as nude?"
"I think it's nude enough, Murdock."
"You really think so, Face? I wouldn't want to slip through the week on some technicality. If I'm gonna do this, I want to do it right."
"Do you really think there's a right way and a wrong way to be nude?"
"As far as Ah'm concerned, there's no way!"
Murdock was practically bouncing in his seat. "Bear with me, Colonel. I'm just getting started. I wish I could find that magazine, so you could read the article for yourself."
"Don't worry, Murdock, this is much more interesting. We're all hanging on your every word."
"No we ain't," BA muttered, but Murdock continued as if he hadn't heard.
"Thanks, Colonel. But I haven't even got to the best part yet. You see, at some of these resorts, they have team sports, too. I thought that'd be great for us. You know, teamwork, camaraderie, working together. . . "
"In the altogether?" Face was getting in the spirit of the moment.
"Come on, guys, this could be fun. You'd get to hang out with lots of other people and play football or basketball, just without any clothes on."
a whole new meaning to who's playin' skins," BA
"Um, how do they tell who's on which team?"
"The article didn't say, Face," Murdock continued, "but I'm sure there's some sort of distinguishing feature so you can tell who's who."
Murdock was on a roll. "Oh, and there's baseball, too. Although, from what I've read, sliding into bases is not recommended. . . . Uh, Face, are you okay?" He'd noticed a pained expression on the lieutenant's face.
"If it's alright with you guys, I really don't think I'm ready for nude baseball. Just the mental image of a catcher squatting behind home base, wearing nothing but a mask and knee pads, and with his. . ."
"Ah, man! Winkies again!?? Ah said everybody in this van wears clothes! All the time!"
"But BA, you'll never know the joys of nude water skiing and hiking in the woods and tennis and horseback riding if you don't do this. And what about nude bowling? I happen to know you love to bowl, big guy."
we should think about sports without balls, guys."
"You know, Murdock, I think you're making this more difficult than it really is."
"Hold on, Sucka! What you talking about?"
"Just hear me out. I don't know about you guys, but my favorite recreational activity has always been done in the nude. The way I see it, we can check into a nice singles resort -- Sorry, Murdock, one where you wear clothes. We can have some fun during the day, and if we're lucky, find new friends to join us for occasional nude recreational activities in the privacy of our own rooms. You know, fellow singles resort aficionados reveling in celebrating the joys of Nude Recreation Week."
if a bit flowery, Lieutenant."
BA was determined to not show just how relieved he was at this development. It wouldn't do to be too anxious. "Well, it's okay with me, but make sure they got a weight room."
"Well, Colonel, I'm not sure if it's really following the spirit of Nude Recreation Week if we wear clothes too much of the time." Murdock appeared to be searching his mind for some sort of technicality or dispensation, wanting to have his cake and eat it, too.
Face made to egg him on, just as Murdock grinned in satisfaction. "No, wait. . . I got it. I'll bet they'd have a sauna, too, so we could get in some quality nude time during the daytime hours, too, . . . right after you finish buffing your bod in the weight room, BA."
"Ah said. . . "
"I say, all in favor of Face finding us a swanky singles resort -- for people who are clothed most of the time, although maybe scantily clad a lot of the time, but who also appreciate the joys of Nude Recreation Week -- say "winkies.""
BA's hand shot up. "But everybody keeps their clothes on when they're 'round me -- 'less I say so."
"Winkies!" Murdock raised his hand, too.
know this place in
"And you won't have trouble finding a fourth, I bet."
"Somebody better buy some sunblock." Face couldn't help but point out the obvious. "I'd hate anybody to get sunburned on their…"
"Don't say it, man."
"I love it when a plan comes together."
And with that, the Colonel leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, content to chew what was left of his cigar and muse about what to have for lunch. Later, he'd get Face and Murdock to show him that magazine they'd stuffed under Face's seat.
In the back, Face and Murdock exchanged a wink. They loved it when a plan came together, too.
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