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This page last viewed: 2017-12-13 and has been viewed 1434 times


Billy, Joshua, the Colonel and Face

AUTHOR: Viskey Utsadanas



DISCLAIMER:I don't own the A-Team and I don't make any profit with my writing.


NOTES: set during Nam, but no shooting and dying or any of that stuff; thanks to Mooncat for the odd comment, and the odd suggestion.

WARNINGS: silliness, a little language

SUMMARY: Just the team on a day off





It had not been too late in the evening, when Hannibal, BA, Face and Murdock had entered this nice, cozy, little bar in Da Nang. Now it was close to midnight, and they had a couple of empty beer bottles assembled in front of them on the table. Face tried to remember how many rounds they'd already had and couldn't. He decided that it didn't matter anyway. BA had just gotten up and excused himself. With exactly that word. He was so funny sometimes. Most other men would have said, they'd need to take a leak, they'd gotta piss or... well, or worse. And BA? That man got up, fierce looking and all, and said, "'xcuse me for a moment." Face shook his head.


"Not too bad an idea, the Big Guy had there..." Murdock got up, and followed BA.


Hannibal grinned and took a sip of his beer. It was different to American beer, but meanwhile he had gotten so used to it, he hardly noticed. He was about to say something, when a bunch of soldiers came in and sat down at the table next to the team.


"Twenty commies, I swear!" one of them said with emphasis.


"Oh, c'mon, Harp! Twenty! Nobody'll believe that shit."


"I saw it with my own eyes!" Harp insisted.


"Then why didn't you help, and let Smith do it all by himself?" a third joined in.


Harp was silent for a moment. "Ran outta ammo. He dunnit all by himself."


Face and Hannibal exchanged a look. This was most evidently not the first bar Harp was visiting tonight.


"Harp, take my advice: Just forget it. You've never even come near to any of the A-Team. So stop talking crap. Have another drink."


Hannibal and Face exchanged another look. Entertainment had just dropped into their lap. They grinned.


"Twenty, I swear, on my mother's grave," Harp stubbornly insisted.


"Your mother's alive."


"On my grandmother's."


"She's alive too."


"Oh, fuck you all!" Harp got up and walked to the back of the bar to the toilets.


"What was that about?" Hannibal asked curiously, eager to get the fun started.


"Uh! Harp again," the sergeant, who'd mainly talked to Harp, said as if it explained everything. "He's so smitten with the A-Team, he always comes up with new fantastic stories about them. And he's always been there, seen it with his own eyes, da-da-da." The sergeant suddenly realised he was talking to a colonel and straightened up a bit. "Forgive him, he's drunk, Sir."


"Oh, there's no need to apologise," Hannibal assured. "You're off duty at least I hope and a lot of us spend that time with putting as much alcohol inside us as possible."


"Well said, Colonel," Face commended.


"Thank you," Hannibal nodded at Face. "So, what stories does he tell, sergeant..." he looked at the sergeant askance.


"Sherman, Sir," the sergeant filled the gap. "And it's just crap, Sir." he shrugged. "Like they've blown up half of Hue, or... Yeah, once he said, they'd been in a chopper, and that crazy pilot of theirs crashed."


Just at that point, Murdock returned.


"Captain, have a seat and keep us company," Hannibal said jovially, a glint in his eyes telling Murdock to play along, and watch his every step.


"Whatever you want," Murdock answered carefully, sitting down.


"Go ahead," Hannibal told Sherman.


"Well, there's not much left to tell. Harp's always coming up with shit like that. He said, the chopper dropped out of the air from 120 ft, and nobody was even hurt. I mean, who's gonna believe that anyway?"


"Colonel, what exactly are we talking about?" Murdock asked most politely.


"The A-Team," Hannibal answered casually.


"Oh, I've heard, their pilot never crashes?" Murdock frowned deeply. Face and Hannibal both had to grin at Murdock's hurt pride.


"Oh, he does," Hannibal answered, and soothingly added, "but I've heard, nobody crashes as elegantly and gracefully as him."


Murdock was comforted with that, and put on a dreamy expression. "Yeah... Murdock," he sighed. "I really wish I could meet that guy some time. Just think of all the things he could teach me..."


"Ah, Joshua!" Face exclaimed, when he saw BA approaching. BA started only a bit at the use of this name. He knew, Face loved his life too dearly to use it without reason. So he just sat down, grabbed his bottle of beer and leaned back in his chair, waiting for the explanation.


"Josh, you've missed quite some entertainment," Murdock said. "He," Murdock pointed at Sherman, "told me, he knows Murdock, the A-Team's pilot..."


That was all BA needed to be in the picture. "Heard the man's all crazy," he answered.


"Uhm, just to clear this up, I didn't say, I know him," Sherman spoke up.


"No? Too bad. I was gonna ask you to do the introductions." Murdock snapped his fingers in mock frustration.


"Ask Harp," a soldier at the far end of the table contributed.


"Does he know him?" Murdock asked eagerly.


"At least, that's what he always says." Sherman's group snickered. The Team did so, too, if for different reasons.


"I'll go and get another round," Face announced, getting up. "I assume, I can count you guys in?" He turned to the group of soldiers, who all nodded their thanks. "I won't be long."


"So, what do you think of the A-Team?" Murdock asked. Shrugs and indifferent murmurs were his answers. "What, seems you don't very much like them?"


"Hey, if you got your ears chewed off with stories 'bout 'em, you'd start hating 'em as well," one said.


"See, 's what ah always tell ya, Billy," BA said in direction of Murdock. "You babble too much, you get hated."


Hannibal couldn't help but grin.


"Yeah, yeah, Joshy, whatever you say," Murdock replied disdainfully.


Hannibal had to grin wider.


"What'd I miss?" Face asked, returning with an armload of bottles.


"Billy insulting Josh," Hannibal answered, letting Face in on Murdock's alias.


"Billy, just how could you? Have you ever taken a look at Joshua here? He'd be able to smash you with just his thumb and forefinger." Face shook his head, even while handing out the bottles.


"Just how often can you hear how many Charlies Colonel Hannibal has taken out single-handed?" Sherman returned to the topic, "more often than not with his bare hands," he added. "How often can you hear about the A-Team blowing up some city? I guess, by now Harp's blown up all of Vietnam in his stories... Too bad, it's still standing... mostly."


At that, Harp returned.


"Hey, Harp, we've been missing you," Hannibal greeted the man with a grand gesture.


"What took you so long? Had a nice chat with the A-Team while peeing?" One of the soldiers teased.


"You wouldn't recognise 'em, when you bumped into 'em," Harp accused.


"But you would?" Hannibal asked, true interest in his voice, even though Harp most evidently didn't.


"Course, I would, we're buddies!" Harp exclaimed, wholeheartedly.


"Ah... I see." A wide grin spread over Hannibal's face, which might have been mistaken for innocence. "When've you last seen them?" he asked.


"Just yesterday," Harp claimed.


"Harp, we were on patrol yesterday," Sherman wearily corrected, "You were with us all day."


"Ok, ok, so it was day before yesterday."


Sherman just shook his head this time.


"Who do you like best of them?" Face asked, taking a swig from his beer. He wanted to keep the conversation focused.


"Ah, 's hard to say," Harp answered quite diplomatically. "I'd say, it's Hannibal. He's just great."


"You hear that?" Hannibal asked his men with a grin.


"Yeah, yeah, don't get all excited, man," BA grumbled softly.


"Who do you like second best?" Murdock asked.


"BA," was Harp's surprising answer.


"Really, why?" Murdock asked, genuinely curious. Sure, he liked BA himself, but BA was not exactly the most endearing person around.


"Why not?" BA snapped, before Harp could answer.


"Yeah, why not, dammit!" Harp shot at Murdock. "He's strong."


"Harp needs somebody to keep him out of trouble," Sherman smirked.


"I don't need anybody to fight for me!" Harp exploded, stopping short of grabbing Sherman by the lapels. "BA'n me, we fight together!"


"I bet you do," BA commented dryly.


Harp didn't quite know how to answer that, therefore he didn't. He took a sip of his beer instead, and then another sip.


"What about Face?" Face asked. He was impatient to hear something about himself.


"Ah, he's..." Harp didn't go on.


"He's what?"


BA, Hannibal and Murdock snickered, enjoying Face's evident frustration.


"He's..." Harp started again.


"I think Harp doesn't like Face," Murdock teased.


"What makes you think that?" Harp snapped at Murdock. "I like him, I like him. Everybody likes the Faceman!"


Now Face beamed. "You hear that?" he repeated Hannibal's words from before.


"Yeah, yeah, just don't get all excited about it, will ya?" Murdock took over BA's part.


"What, don't you like him?" Face asked.


"Sure I like him," Murdock answered lightly.


"You... you know him?" Harp asked, suddenly very careful and nervous. And he looked a great deal more sober than just a minute ago.


"Yeah, sure I know him. I'm a pilot, see, I've flown them places every now and then..." Murdock flailed his hand absently like it was just nothing, which of course for him, it wasn't.


Everyone in Harp's group snapped to attention at that. This promised to become interesting. It didn't matter if Billy had really met the A-Team or not. Just seeing a few holes being drilled into Harp's stories was fun.


"They got Murdock to fly them around. They don't need you," Harp quickly asserted, feeling solid ground under his feet again.


"Maybe he was ill or just didn't want to fly them," Murdock insisted. "Anyway, I got to fly them on occasion."


Harp was silent, obviously unable to find anything to invalidate Murdock's statement.


"And? What do you think of 'em?" Sherman asked, excited over this opportunity to crash both Harp and his damned A-Team.


"They're a nice bunch of people," Murdock said easily, running his hand over his throat. "But largely misunderstood, I must say. Hannibal... Well, he has pulled off the odd stunt, but all in all, he's... just a nut."


Face got some of his beer down the wrong way as he had to laugh. Even BA grinned. Only Hannibal tapped his fingers against the tabletop in light dismay.


Harp was about to protest, but Murdock beat him, as he went on, "Face..." Murdock cast an inspecting look at his fingernails, "he's... You know, there are all those stories about how dashingly pretty he is..." Face had just raised his bottle to drink, but now halted in his moves, awaiting Murdock's next line. "He isn't," Murdock deadpanned. Face almost dropped his bottle and stared at Murdock. "But he's got some charms, I gotta grant him that," Murdock quickly changed direction, he didn't want to piss Face off, after all. "If he wants something, he usually gets it." Face lifted his bottle again, somewhat reconciled. "I guess, he's so charming, people simply don't notice that he isn't all that pretty." Murdock flashed a challenging glance at Face, who pulled a slight face and silently promised to make Murdock pay for that statement.


"BA, now..." Murdock grinned broadly, "he's a real darling."


"Watch your mouth, sucka!" BA broke in. Nobody called BA Baracus a "real darling"!


Hannibal reached across the table and soothingly patted BA's arm. "Now, now, Joshua, I'm sure Billy didn't want to embarrass anyone."


"Fool's always embarrassing," BA shot back, "no matter what he does."


"Joshy..." Murdock chirped, "Big Guy... "


"Shut up, fool!"


Face turned his attention from his teammates over to the soldiers they'd been chatting with. He revelled in their looks of confusion. "Don't bother them," he said amiably, "they're not gonna hurt each other. It's just their way of showing their affection for..." Face wasn't able to finish.


"You shut up, too!" BA growled at him. "You're no better'n the fool there."


"But... but..." Face tried to reason, while unsuccessfully trying to remove BA's fist from his collar.


Hannibal reached over the table and tapped BA's fist lightly, "That's enough now, Sergeant," he said.


"He was talking nonsense!" BA complained, nonetheless he loosened his grip on Face's shirt.


"I know," Hannibal conceded. Then he straightened up in his seat and said, "Maybe we should take this to another place. It's running out of control a bit."


"Aw, we're on leave," Murdock whined, though not sincerely.


"And I'd like it to stay that way. If we carry on, some of us might end up in a hospital, or a brig." Hannibal smiled at BA. "And we wouldn't want that, would we?"


BA just grunted.


"Ok, guys. Let's hit the road," Hannibal exclaimed, and clapped his hands together. "Whose treat is it?"


"Always the one's who's asking," Face answered.


Hannibal scoffed, but pulled some money from his pocket and dropped it on the table. BA stood up, so did Murdock. Only Face stayed seated, lazily finishing his beer.


"Uhm, you coming, Face?" Hannibal asked, prudently casual.


"Yeah, comin', Hannibal." Face answered just as casual, before he got up and a wide grin spread across his face.


Sherman's mouth dropped open, Harp was stunned into complete silence.


Murdock came back from the entrance, smiling sweetly, "Ah, just to clear this one up, guys, it's been 112 ft when I crashed... and somebody was hurt, namely me. I got a broken jaw from it, because for some strange reason BA here just doesn't like it when I crash." Murdock rubbed his jaw with the memory. BA had hit him in fearful rage, but, of course, the end result had been painful anyway.


Face tipped his hand to his head in a flippant salute. "Enjoy your beers, gentlemen," he said.


Sherman stared, watching the men, he'd been chatting with, leave. Only "Face" was still at his table sporting a big grin, and turning to leave. "You..." Sherman started. Face stopped his move and looked at him. "You..."


"I what?" Face asked innocently.


"You're shitting us," Sherman finally managed.


"Aaaaah, no." Face's smile turned a little warmer. "We have been shitting you, though."


Sherman just shook his head, still having a hard time believing.


"Look, if you're worried about what you said..." Face's smile turned warmer still.


"If you are, who you say you are..." one of the other soldiers said a little breathlessly.


"We are." Face simply confirmed. "Hey, no big deal. You've been nice. We've been having a great time." The flashy smile was back on his face. "Sorry, but the opportunity was too good to let it pass. We simply had to do this."


"Face!" came Hannibal's irritated voice from the door. "Are you coming or will I have to report you?"


"What?" Face shouted back, "I'm on vacation, you can't report me!"


"Vacation?" Hannibal asked, not quite believing Face's choice of word.


"Vacation," Face repeated, then turned back to Sherman and his friends. "As I said, guys, enjoy the beer." He patted Harp on the shoulder. "Especially you, my friend. And next time you meet me, give me my regards."


Sherman couldn't help but grin. He watched Face leave and close up with his friends. The door fell shut, and Sherman smiled. It didn't matter if these four men had really been the A-Team or not. They had smashed Harp. And, provided they were the A-Team, Sherman decided he liked them, after all.





Billy, Joshua, The Colonel And Face by Viskey



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