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This page last viewed: 2017-12-03 and has been viewed 1674 times

Outside Looking In

Outside Looking In

By LovinFace


Rated: G

Warnings:  None

Hannibal's thoughts a couple of weeks after Without Reservations. Companion piece to Inside Looking Out.

Disclaimer: Standard




Hannibal was tired.  Not the "I can't take another step" tired, but the "Bone weary just want to lay down and make the world go away" tired.  It had been a rough couple of weeks.  Face had been wounded at Villa Cucina.  He had nearly died.  Then there was the wait at the hospital.  Hannibal was tired.  For the first time in 16 years, Hannibal wanted to quit.

            Hannibal pulled himself out of the chair in the living room and walked toward the bedrooms.  He quietly opened the door to Face's room and leaned his head in.  Face appeared to be asleep, though his head was turning from side to side.  His mouth was moving, but there was no voice.  Hannibal walked closer to Face.  He put his hand on Face's shoulder, hoping that would calm the young man down, but trying not to wake him.  Face was still mouthing something unintelligible. 

            Hannibal shook Face's shoulder gently.  "Hey, Face, you okay?  You need something?"

            Face opened his eyes, searching for the voice.  He saw Hannibal looking at him.  Hannibal spoke, "You okay?  You need something?"

            Face nodded his head no.  "No, I'm okay.  Musta been dreaming.  Sorry if I bothered you.  I'm going to go back to sleep now, okay?" 

            Hannibal patted Face's shoulder.  "Sure, Kid.  Just call if you need anything."

            Face smiled weakly and closed his eyes.  Hannibal stayed in the room a few minutes, then turned and left as silently as he had entered.  This was the part about command that he hated most.  The waiting, the watching.  Always on the outside, looking in.  He knew that Face was hurting, physically and emotionally.  Hannibal and the team had managed to get Face out alive, and he knew he should be thankful for that.  Face allowed Murdock to help with his recovery.  He ate whatever the lanky captain brought him to make him better, even let Billy sleep at the foot is his bed.  He allowed BA to help him move from the bedroom to the living room, to the bathroom, wherever he needed to be.  He even allowed Frankie to help him with getting dressed.  But as Face fought to recover, Hannibal could do nothing but watch. 

            God, he was tired.  He walked out to the deck, pulled out a cigar.  His last one.  He'd have to check with Face about getting more.  Face.  Hannibal looked up.  The sky was overcast, and the wind smelled of rain.  He could see Abels along the perimeter. 

            Hannibal lit his cigar and stepped to the deck railing.  He took in the scenery.  As much as he hated his gilded cage, he had to admit that the grounds were beautiful.  It started to rain.  Hannibal stood the collar up on his jacket, but stayed at the edge of the deck, thankful for the rain, using it as a refuge for the emotions that had been locked inside throughout the nightmare of the last couple of weeks.  Hannibal lost track of the time.  He finally came in, sloshing with every step.

            Face was on the couch.  Murdock and Frankie were in the kitchen.  BA was standing over Face, adjusting his cover.  "How's that, Face?"  Face smiled.  "Perfect, BA.  Thanks."  BA smiled a rare smile.  "I'll go get you something to drink.  I'll be right back."  BA looked at Hannibal and acknowledged him with a nod of his head.  Then he walked toward the kitchen.

            "Hannibal, you better change.  You're going to catch pneumonia if you stay in those wet clothes," Face scolded.  His eyes locked with Hannibal's.  Face knew.  Hannibal looked away.  "I'm going to change out of these clothes.  I'll be back in a bit." He turned toward the bedrooms.

            "Hannibal," Face spoke, barely above a whisper.  Hannibal turned around.  "Yeah, Face?"  He avoided making eye contact.  Face had a way of disarming him like no one else could by just looking at him.  "It's going to be okay."  Hannibal looked up at Face.  Face repeated, "We're going to be okay."  He yawned.  Hannibal knew the trip from the bedroom to the living room had probably sapped what little energy he had.

            "Yeah, Face.  I know.  Why don't you get some rest?  I'm going to put on some dry clothes."  Hannibal looked at Face, who was already asleep.  He turned and went to his room.  God, he was so tired.


Outside Looking In by LovinFace



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