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A Special Day
Summary: BA has a problem. Can Murdock help?
Warning: A bit dark mood. Slash, only at the end though. And Fluff, Lots of fluff.
Disclaimer: Don’t own anything from TAT.
Copyright: Sarah Diaz 2004
Thanks: Viskey for finding the little details in the plot and Missy who makes sure it’s a sufferable English. You’re great!
A Special Day
“Really BA, how can you honestly refuse to help them?”
“A said shut up!”
“But I can’t! I’m the only voice for those poor exploited souls. If I shut up, and don’t speak for them they’re doomed to never ending slavery!”
This time BA tried to be silent for once. Perhaps, only perhaps, if he ignored the Fool’s crazy babbling he would give him a break and bug Face. An elbow nudged him.
“See BA, now I’ve finally got to you! Come on, what can it hurt? I just need your signature on my petition. However, if you want to volunteer for more, man, that would be great. We need all the help we can get.”
It would have been too good to be true. BA felt the vein over his left eye twitch. Always a sure sign that he was about to lose patience. He glanced over at Face, who was slumped in one of the chairs, and watched with amusement Murdock’s attempts to win BA over to his new pet project. The rescue of paper clips. Crazy.
“Just imagine those poor clips! Together for an eternity, then suddenly, some ruthless badass comes along, kidnaps one of the poor souls, rips it from the lap of its family and forever separates it from its mommy and daddy, and granny, and siblings, and aunts, and uncles, and cousins, and…”
“SHUT UP!!!!” BA nearly roared.
But the Fool seemed to be either oblivious or deaf. “…and don’t forget the godfather. How would you like it if you were warm and cozy in your family’s arms and suddenly, someone comes along and drags you away? Knowing you’ll never see them again?”
To emphasize his words the Fool swung an arm around BA’s neck, bringing his face close to BA’s. BA had had enough. Suddenly something inside him snapped, and his anger flared up. He shoved Murdock away. Hard. So hard that the pilot, caught completely off guard, staggered away and fell to the ground. BA moved until he stood over the fallen man, fist tight at his side, seeing red. “Ya shut up now Fool!!! A’ve had enough of your crazy nonsense! These are just stupid things, nothing more. They don’t have feelings, they don’t have families! There’s no slavery or exploitation! Ya ever utter a word about them again, A’ll shut ya up myself, that clear?!”
Murdock stared up at BA. The Fool’s eyes were wide with shock and surprise. Something inside BA shifted. Guilt. Growling he stomped the feeling down and instead glared even more harshfully at the Fool. The shock had faded from Murdock’s face and his brown eyes had narrowed, searching, contemplating. One of those looks you feel goes through all your barriers right to the deepest corner of your soul. BA frowned, uncomfortable under this scrutinizing gaze. “We got an understanding?”
The Fool still looked at him and suddenly some strange understanding filled his eyes, as if he had figured out what had driven BA to lose his temper in such a way. Which was hardly possible, as BA couldn’t understand it himself. The Fool hadn’t behaved that badly. Why had he lost it like that? He caught Murdock’s slow nod. Carefully, the Fool pushed himself up to stand again, and came face to face with BA’s still scowling face.
Again he nodded slowly. “Yeah BA, I think we have an understanding. Don’t worry, I wont bother you again Big Guy.”
BA had the distinct feeling that he should feel satisfied now. But the only thing he felt was confusion and anger. Anger at the Fool for pushing him so far and anger at himself, for letting Murdock get to him like that in the first place. Besides, there had been something in the way Murdock had said the words that made him feel uneasy.
It was Murdock who broke their eye contact to look over at Face. BA glanced over to the blond man as well and saw that he was sitting up straight in his chair, surprise and anger clearly written on his face. Again BA felt guilt coming up and again he ignored it.
“Hannibal wanted to talk to me. I’ll go find him.”
Hearing the Fool’s voice, he looked back to him. Strange… Murdock’s voice sounded so… quiet, neutral, and businesslike. Not at all like Murdock.
Face nodded, and without another glance in BA’s direction Murdock quietly left the living room. Carefully loosening up his fists BA moved over to the couch to settle himself down in front of the television and a football game. The Bears were playing today. Couldn’t miss the victory of his home team, now could he?
He switched the television on and the sound of a commercial filled the silent room. Out of the corner of the eye he caught Face staring at him, and not especially in a nice way. Glaring would have named it better. BA ignored it.
But it’s kind of hard to ignore someone glaring so intently at you. You could just feel the heaviness of their gaze on you. And it really started to piss BA off. So it didn’t take long before he met Face’s glare with one of his own. “What? Ya got a problem?”
Face frowned. His voice was deep with sarcasm when he finally spoke. “Me? A problem? You know me; I’m always the happy-go-lucky guy. Why should I have a problem after just witnessing one of my friends knocking down another friend? I don’t have a problem whatsoever. But what about you? What’s you’re problem?”
“Haven’t got a problem either,“ BA said, stubbornly watching the commercials as if they were the most interesting things in the world.
“No, of course not. You deck your best friend for no reason at all everyday. And you haven’t been in an especially bad mood for weeks, have you?” Face asked.
“Don’t know what’cha talkin’ about.” BA evaded, his eyes fixed onto the television.
“You know, somehow I even buy that one from you. But something’s wrong with you. Your mood has been foul for at least two weeks now, and it’s getting worse by the day. But I’ll tell you one thing: You’d better figure it out, whatever it is. Or next time you lose your temper, something really bad is going to happen,” Face said, his voice getting angrier at every word.
“Fool got what he deserved,” BA said defensively, all the while feeling the rage welling up again. Sure, he knew on some level that what Face had said was not too far from the truth. But the Fool really had deserved it. He had warned him off enough times and still he didn’t listen.
Face stood up and moved to stand in front of him, blocking his view of the screen. He stared at BA with very serious and condemning eyes. “I don’t think you really believe that. You hurt him BA. True, he bugged you, but we all have seen and heard worse. This time he hadn’t even really started yet, but even then, he still wouldn’t have deserved it. Nothing would have justified your outlash. You hurt him BA, physically and emotionally.”
“None of your business Faceman!” BA said through clenched teeth, hands again balled to fists. He had to fight himself to keep from lashing out again.
“Damn right it’s my business! Everything that concerns my friends is my business,” Face said heatedly. He noticed the fists and the rage in BA’s eyes and laughed sarcastically. “What? You want to hit me now?”
“If ya don’t leave it, yeah, A’ll make ya shut up too,” BA growled back.
“See? That’s exactly what I mean. This is a bit much, even for you, BA. Fix it, before we get our next job. We can’t deal with this crap then,” Face retorted.
“Face!” Startled, they both turned to look at Murdock who had reappeared in the door. “The big guy and I are alright, ok?”
BA watched as the two had a silent conversation with their eyes until Face finally relaxed and gave a slight nod. They had been a team for a long time now; having no problems communicating without words to each other. Although, these two had it down to perfection. Must be the couple thing.
“I’ve got to go back to the VA,” Murdock said.
“Already?” Face asked surprised.
“Yeah, it’s time.”
Seeing the brief flash of disappointment in Face’s eyes, BA finally felt guilty. He knew Face had looked forward to seeing Murdock and spending some quality time with him. BA knew for a fact that the Fool wasn’t expected back at the VA for at least a few more hours.
Face sighed and nodded. “I’ll just go grab my jacket and keys.” With a last glance at the two friends he left the room.
Again silence filled the room. Well, apart from the voice of the reporter, that came from the television, interviewing the coach and asking for his prognosis for his team. BA carefully avoided meeting Murdock’s eyes.
A minute passed.
And another minute.
“A’m sorry,” BA said, staring intently onto the screen.
“For what?” Murdock asked.
BA turned his head to look at his friend. The Fool was smiling. BA turned back and shrugged. “Dunno.”
Finally the players came onto the field. A few more moments and the game would start. Suddenly BA was really looking forward to watching the game.
“I’ll bet 20 bucks on the Jet’s.”
BA looked at Murdock and raised an eyebrow. “Ya’ll loose.”
Murdock grinned. “Your precious Bear’s haven’t got a chance today. The Jet’s haven’t lost one of their last eight games. They’re invincible right now. I’m sure my money’s safe.”
“See what’cha say when ya’re giving me my money, Fool.”
“Oh I think I’ll enjoy the scowl on your face when you pay me. So, do we have a deal?”
BA looked into the sparkling brown eyes and couldn’t help but smile a little himself. “Deal.”
Right at this moment Face came back in with his black leather jacket and keys in one hand and Murdock’s old battered jacket in the other. He looked from BA to Murdock and back and frowned. “What’s so funny?”
“Oh, Big Guy here is under the delusion that the Bear’s have a slight chance of winning against the Jet’s.” Murdock laughed.
“We’ll see who’s grinning in the end,” BA dryly commented and turned back to the game, just as the start whistle sounded.
Face still looked doubtfully from one to the other. “So what now? You’re staying?”
“Nah, we can listen to the game on the way back to the VA. Better not be here when BA’s team loses. You know his mood will be insufferable then,” Murdock said and moved out of the door.
“Hmm, right, tell Hannibal I’ll be back in a few hours,” Face told BA with a quick smile and followed his lover.
Finally alone to enjoy the game BA settled back with a snort. Ha! The Bear’s losing! With the twenty bucks from the Fool he’d buy a new can of wax for his van. The old one was almost empty.
“So good to see you Big Guy! I just ran out of my money. Well? Where are my twenty bucks?”
BA’s features darkened and he glared at the Fool. Grumbling he reached for his wallet to pull out a twenty. Murdock grabbed it, grinning. “Aww, don’t be such a spoilsport. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Should have listened to me, Big Guy.”
“Don’t think so. Anyone who listens ta a crazy man like ya will wind up as your roomy.” BA growled and stomped to his van.
Murdock trailed behind him. “Why BA! If you want to room with me just say so. I’m sure the Faceman could arrange something. That’d be cool! We could play together on my video arcade game! And wait until our first group therapy together. We’ll have a blast!”
Stopping abruptly BA turned around and poked a finger into Murdock’s chest. “A’ll go back ta prison before A’d room with ya!”
With an exaggerated gesture Murdock laid a hand on his heart. “Oh BA, what touching words!”
BA huffed and turned back
to go to the driver’s side. Still gritting his teeth together, he got in. A
second later Murdock joined him on the passenger seat.
It was going to be at least three long days alone with the Fool and his jibber jabbering. A shudder ran through him. When Hannibal had told him the news he had been speechless. Then he had loudly voiced his refusal. But Hannibal had just ordered him. Two simple jobs had come up simultaneously and so they had to split up. Something they almost never did, unless Hannibal was really sure that the jobs were as simple as they seemed.
And while the other two could stay in LA to do their mission, he and the Fool had to travel over to Dallas to retrieve some client and escort him home. They were even supposed to stay a few days to make sure that the coast was clear. Should they meet up with any problems, Hannibal and Face would join them. But they did not expect to have any difficulty.
In fact, these two jobs were below their usual standards, but work had been light lately and these were well-paying jobs. At least that was what the Faceman had said.
Lost in his thoughts BA had thankfully tuned out the Fool’s non-stopping babble. He reached out to turn on the radio and the sound of oldies filled the inside of the van. Making a grimace, BA reached out to switch to another channel, but Murdock’s hand stopped him.
“No! Come on BA, that’s the Rat Pack!!! Just the right thing for a little trip to Dallas! I’m in the mood for a bit of good old Frankieboy and Martin!”
Suddenly an idea struck BA. “Ya’ll be quiet an’ we’ll listen ta this old stuff?”
“Old stuff? Old stuff? Oh BA, you still have so much to learn. These are classics, masterpieces, not just old stuff,” Murdock sighed, shaking his head in exasperation.
“Old stuff, classics, don’t care. Ya want ta hear them or not?” BA stayed firmly.
“Jeez, what rubbed you the wrong way? But yeah, let them play.”
BA frowned but chose not to comment on the little remark. If he said something the Fool surely would find something to retort back. And before he knew it they would be in another endless battle of insane jabbering.
Murdock was actually silent for a few minutes. But then he started to sing loudly along.
BA gave him a warning glare. “A thought ya wanted ta hear the music. Ya can’t like this.”
“But BA, one cannot not just sing along! You know, oldies are there to remind you of the good old times and loudly join in the fun of them! Why don’t you join in? It would make you feel better,” Murdock protested, affronted, but then grinned invitingly at him.
“Don’t know the words,” BA quickly said.
Not that he really believed that the Fool would let him off so easily. But it was worth a try. However, Murdock jumped right in. “Oh come on! You can’t tell me you don’t know Chicago! Come on! Let that wonderful bass of yours be heard.”
“A didn’t say A don’t know the song. A said A don’t know the words,” BA clarified.
Murdock snorted. “Now if that’s not one of the lamest excuses I’ve ever heard. You know the song, you know the words. Or at least the chorus. So come on, join me!”
This time BA just growled warningly. In answer to this Murdock just shook his head and slumped into his seat. “You’re no fun lately, BA. So… You wanna talk about it or will you just continue to scowl and growl the entire way to Dallas?”
BA glanced over at him and met his serious brown eyes. He would never understand how Murdock could go from being the irritating Fool to the understanding friend in the blink of an eye. But it was probably one of the reasons why he put up with him. Not that this meant he was anywhere near ready to give into Murdock’s offer. “A’m perfectly content as A am.”
Murdock frowned. “You know
something’s wrong. I know it, Face knows it,
Again BA tightened his grip on the wheel. “A don’t need help. And there’s nothing wrong.”
“Well, why don’t you tell that to someone else, because I sure don’t buy it. We’ve known each other for what now? Fourteen years? Friends from the start, even if you refused to believe it for a while there in the beginning. You honestly think you can fool me?” Murdock asked.
“A don’t have a problem,” BA repeated.
“Ok, let me rephrase that. After all these years knowing me, you think I’ll leave it be?” Murdock insisted.
BA was silent. No, he didn’t really believe it. If the Fool was one thing, it was stubborn. Once he had his mind set on something, he wouldn’t let go until he had what he wanted.
Murdock’s voice softened. “BA. Believe your Muchacho here. Talk to good ol’ Murdock and you’ll feel better. Just let it out.”
Again BA didn’t answer but just stared ahead to the road.
A deep sigh. “What can be so horrible or stupid that you won’t talk about it?”
“Leave it Fool. Nothing’s…”
“Yeah, yeah, nothing’s wrong. You know, for a guy who hates lies you’re pretty good at them. Problem is that you can’t sell us this one. We all know it’s not true. Your spirits have been down for weeks now. Two weeks ago I thought you had started to cheer up, but it has only gotten worse since then,” Murdock stated firmly.
BA ground his teeth and glanced at Murdock. He was met with worried, concerned, completely open eyes. And this completely honest expression was what made BA sigh and slump his shoulders.
“Truth is, A really don’t know what’s wrong, Murdock.” He finally said.
“Why don’t you just tell me what you feel?” Murdock said.
“Ya a shrink now? Ya’re the crazy man, not the doc.”
Again a sigh. “Just humor me, will you? I have always been able to listen to you. Why should now be any different?”
BA didn’t answer immediately, and this time the Fool waited, somehow sensing that he needed to give his friend some time. It was always like this with him. Normally, he’d drive you to the very verge of despair, but when it got serious, he could be silent for all eternity.
Finally he shook his head. “A don’t know. A’m just tired.”
Thinking a moment BA shook his head. “Dunno. Of the run. Of having no home.”
Murdock was silent a moment. “Of having no family?” he finally asked, gently.
BA stiffened at these words. “What’cha talking about? A have my momma. And all the other relatives. And ya guys.”
“Yeah you have. You just can’t see them, can you?” Murdock asked.
“A see ya,” BA answered.
“Yeah, but not your mom. Not your other family. Perhaps you just miss them.”
BA shook his head. “A miss them, but that’s no reason ta feel down. Which A don’t.”
“But it is BA. It’s only natural to miss them, to feel alone, down.” Murdock said smiling.
“No Fool. Ya and the others…”
“Uh uh, BA, that’s not the same. None of us have any family left. We all have our reasons to get in a bad mood, and we all have our own down times. I don’t have to tell you this, but you are there often enough for one of us. So why don’t you let us help you in return?” Murdock interrupted.
BA just shook his head. “Can’t do anything anyway. Isn’t your problem.”
Murdock chuckled. “Ah, you know, Hannibal would say that we’re a team and if one of us has a problem, we all have one.”
“Ya have enough problems on your own.”
Out of the corner of his eye BA saw Murdock go completely still. “Damn it, BA, that’s no reason to not come to us. To me. Yeah, I have my own problems but I still manage to always be there, don’t I?”
When BA gave no answer Murdock continued, with anger in his voice. “Or do you think that just because I’m with Face now means I don’t have time for you anymore?”
Again BA didn’t give an answer and Murdock threw up his arms in frustration. “That’s it, isn’t it? Jeez BA, that’s low. And you know better. You really should know better!”
BA sighed. “A do know Fool. But really, A never thought about it, least of all thought about talking about it.”
Murdock frowned. “Well,
think about it next time. How long until we arrive in
“A few more hours.” BA replied.
“Well, then we should play a game. Hmm, how about the good ol’ plate guessing, huh? Or do you prefer car types?” Murdock said, back to his annoying tone.
BA growled. “A’m not playing any stupid games. Ya shut up and A’ll drive.”
“Now that would be really boring. No singing, no game… come on Big Guy, give me something here!” Murdock begged.
“A have a game. Who can shut up the longest?” BA suggested.
Murdock made a face. “Ha, ha, very funny. Well, then I’ll just talk to Billy here, right my boy?”
BA grinded his teeth. “There’s no invisible dog! Especially not in my van!”
“BA, BA, you really should check your head sometime. Billy’s right here, waggling and eager to have some fun,” the Fool said, stroking the air.
The vein over BA’s left eye started to twitch.
“So, where do we find this client now?” BA asked, locking the doors to his van.
“Hannibal said he’d be in room 969. Now, if that’s not a good sign. Such a beautiful number. I bet it’ll bring us luck,” Murdock said, moving to the elevator.
“It’s just a number.”
“Just a number,” Murdock sighed and shook his head in exasperation. “No number is the same as the other. Some bring luck, some misfortune, some are neutral and wait to become a meaning.”
“Just wait! You’ll see. This will be one fantastic mission. The luck will pour over us, you’ll see. And then tell me again it’s *just* a number!” Murdock retorted vehemently.
“You can deny it, but it won’t change the truth Big Guy. Ah, we’re here.” Murdock said and stopped before the door 969 and let out a low whistle. “Penthouse. No wonder Face was so eager to take on the job.”
BA nodded and pounded onto the door.
“You know, I think they heard you. Such a decent knock like yours is hard to overhear,” Murdock mocked.
BA turned his head lightly and glared at the Fool. Right then the door swung open. With a last warning glare at a smiling Murdock BA turned to greet their client. And froze. Unbelievingly he stared into the familiar warm dark eyes, big with surprise much like his own must look at the moment.
Only when strong arms pulled him against the big soft chest did he come out of his frozen state and threw his arms around the person. With a sigh he let his head sink onto the shoulder. “Mama.”
“Oh Scooter! It’s been so long. How did you know where to find me?” stumbled his mother, half laughing, and half crying.
BA just shook his head. “Didn’t know Mama.”
Murdock laughed. “Good to see you again Mrs. B. Hope you don’t mind our little surprise here.”
“Murdock. Come here boy.” And before he knew it BA’s mother released her son to draw Murdock into a bone-crushing hug.
After a moment she released him and pulled the two men into her room. When the door closed and BA had taken a look around he stared at Murdock. “Ya arranged this?”
“Well, all of us. Hannibal covered the free time and some of the necessary purchases. Face of course made all the scams,” Murdock replied.
BA was silent and looked from his mama to Murdock. “Ya knew.”
His friend just shrugged. “I had a hunch.”
“But ya organized it.” BA stated, absolutely sure about it.
Again Murdock just shrugged and gave a small nod.
“Thank ya, Murdock.” BA said sincerely, not really finding the proper words. “This…”
But Murdock wouldn’t let him finish. “Forget it. Just enjoy it. You have two weeks.”
BA’s mama looked at Murdock surprised and worried. “So long? Wont the Military find out?”
“Nah, don’t worry Mrs. B. We made sure that they have no idea where you really are. You should be safe. And our boss here will spot them anyway, should some MP’s come along.” Murdock tried to calm her. “Right boss?”
“But they’ve got to be suspicious when they see almost the entire family clan gathered in the same hotel,” Mrs. Baracus mentioned, puzzled.
Murdoch grinned at her. “Probably. But that’s why we contacted your brother and convinced him to use a wrong name for the time here. The reservations are for a family named Scotby. That way all of you are anonymous. More or less.”
“Uncle Warren?” BA asked surprised. “He’s here too?”
“We’re all here Scooter. Well, almost all, you know that Trish, Lucy and Jeremy are still out of country, but other than them the whole clan is here,” his mama told him.
“Ya’re kidding!” BA said unbelieving.
She frowned. “Behave Scooter. Why should I lie? We’re having a family reunion. Came up at a pretty short notice too. I tried to tell you, but couldn’t get a hold of you.”
“I’m afraid that’s our fault Mrs. B. We wanted to protect our little surprise so we made sure he wasn’t so easy to reach.” Murdock apologized.
Mrs. Baracus smiled and went over to Murdock and reached up to cup his face with both her hands. She looked him in the eye a moment, and then gently drew his head down so she could give him a kiss on his forehead. “Don’t you apologize, Murdock. What you did for my Scooter and me and our whole family is simply magnificent, my boy. We’ll never forget you for this.”
If BA hadn’t been so stunned he probably would have mocked the sudden blush that appeared on Murdock’s cheeks. Embarrassed, the Fool freed himself from the motherly grip. “Uh, well, it’s not much. You deserved it.” He backed away a little. “Now, I think everything’s said and done. I’ve got to go. Like I said, enjoy it.”
“Ya’re going?” BA asked surprised.
“Yeah, I’ve got to go home. This time is for you and Mrs. B and the whole Baracus clan. So…” Murdock said.
“Murdock, please stay with us. You know you’re as welcome as if you were my own son.” Mrs. B pleaded, getting a hold of his hand.
Murdock smiled warmly down at her. “I know. But this is a special day and reserved for only you and BA. We’ll spend some other time together.”
BA’s mama nodded smiling, understanding, before she drew him again into a bonecrashing hug. “Thank you. Take care my boy.”
When his mother finally released Murdock and he had stopped before BA to say his farewell the burly man looked at him. “How ya getting back?”
“Don’t worry. It’s all organized. There are cars and planes waiting for me. Don’t forget to call in.”
BA nodded and only hesitated a moment before he very quickly drew the pilot into a firm hug. Just to release him quickly again. “The Bear’s are playing the Texan’s tomorrow. This time A’ll get my money back for sure. Ya losers have no chance against us.”
“Ha! Dream on! This time I’ll even double it.” Murdock grinned.
“Make it fifty and it’s on.” BA smiled victoriously.
“Deal.” Murdock agreed and then waved at mother and son. “But now I really have to go.”
The two nodded and said “Bye” simultaneously.
Murdock opened the door, and just before he vanished through it he softly wished them “Happy Mother’s Day BA, Mrs. B.” and was gone. The door closed shut behind him.
Puzzled, BA frowned. Since their talk in the van he had completely forgotten about what day it was. Even more so since arriving here in the hotel. Not one single thought had gone to the meaning of this day. Strange, as it had been exactly the approach of this day that had dragged him down so much lately, getting reminded of how long it had been since he had seen his mama and the rest of the family. Knowing exactly that there was no way for him to even visit them for a short trip on Mother’s Day.
He couldn’t help but smile. Trust the fool to first, make him forget his dark thoughts, and then to completely erase them by organizing something like this.
“Yeah?” Face’s voice came over the phone.
“It’s me,” BA said.
“Oh BA. Well, how did our surprise go?” Face asked, the smile clearly in his voice.
BA frowned for a moment before he answered. “Didn’t the Fool tell ya?”
“He’s not back yet BA. So, how was it?” Face asked.
“What?” BA called out. “But he left hours ago. He said he’d go home. Mentioned a plane. He shoulda been back quite some time ago.” He felt the panic rise and tried to stay calm. Panic helped no one.
This time it was Face who was silent for a moment. “BA, it’s Mother’s Day.”
“And?” BA asked puzzled.
Face sighed. “And he went home to visit his mother at her grave.”
BA was shocked into silence. “A didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, somehow he has the idea that he needs to be alone on this day. He’s done this each Mother’s Day ever since I’ve known him. Well, in Nam, or whenever he couldn’t go to her grave, he’d go to a special place to spend the day in her memory. During our first year in Nam he asked me to make it possible for him to have this day free. Then, the next year he asked again. The third he simply asked if I could make it permanent. And that’s what I’ve done since then.” Face said.
Yet the Fool had sacrificed a great deal of this day for him. Suddenly there was a big lump in BA’s throat. “Your little surprise worked great. A just wanted to call in and thank ya and Murdock again.” BA changed the topic.
“That’s fine. Murdock was right. We should have thought of you and your mama sooner,” Face said. “I’m glad it worked.”
“Yeah well, we want ta go ta some event here. A should go,” BA said.
“Then have a good time BA,” Face replied.
But BA hesitated another moment. “Ya sure the Fool’s all right?”
Sadness and hurt swung in Face’s voice when he replied. “I don’t know. He’s taking it hard, but when he comes back tomorrow he’ll be his usual self.”
BA nodded. “Ok then. Gotta go Faceman.”
“Yeah bye.” Face said.
Restless Face moved around in his bed, desperately trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep. Of course it was his mind that stopped him from getting to sleep, not the bed. He was worried about Murdock.
BA’s phone call had only distracted him for a very short time before all his thoughts went back to his lover.
There was no doubt that Mother’s Day was both soothing and hurting to Murdock. A day that inevitably reminded Murdock of his mother. And with it came the pain of her early death. To this day Murdock had never told him how she had died and Face had the misgiving feeling that there was something very wrong behind that. Sometimes he gently probed the topic a bit, but Murdock always immediately changed the topic. So he never pressed the issue.
For the longest time now, Face had asked Murdock to let him come with him. Each year he had refused. Saying that this day was only for him and Mom. This year he had hoped Murdock would finally relent, now that they were together. But he had received the same answer as each time before.
Still, Murdock had taken BA to Dallas for his little reunion with Mrs. B. But as he saw it, it had been for the same purpose anyway. It helped ensure that a son and his mother saw each other on this special day. Face had chosen the luxury hotel in Dallas so Murdock wouldn’t loose more time to get to his destination.
And for yet another Mother’s Day Face was forced to spend the whole day thinking and worrying about his hurting friend. But this time it was even worse. He desperately wished to be able to be at his love’s side now, sharing his pain, his memories, being there for him.
The sound of his front door opening quietly made him tense and he reached out for his gun on the nightstand. He listened as soft sounds approached his bedroom door and relaxed. He’d recognize these steps anywhere. Though he was pretty surprised to hear them. It was only shortly after Way too soon.
Sure enough, when the door opened the tall silhouette of Murdock appeared.
“You’re back early.” Face softly said, putting the gun back on his nightstand and switching on the bedside lamp. Then he turned to look closely at his lover, who shrugged.
“I missed you,” Murdock told him.
There were dark rings under his eyes and they looked as if he had been crying. Face felt his heart clench at the thought of Murdock crying by his mother’s grave. And there was no smile in his eyes, not even a weak attempt of it. Just utter tiredness.
“Don’t say I didn’t tell you so,” Face tried to enlighten his mood a bit.
Sure enough, a small smile lifted the corners of Murdock’s mouth a bit. “Yeah, guess I should have listened to you after all, baby.”
Face frowned. “That’s right ‘sweety’, you should have. And you better remember that I told you as well to not call me ‘baby’.”
Murdock laughed then and sat down on the edge of the bed. But soon the laughter changed to stifled sobs. Deeply shaken, Face quickly moved to draw him into a warm, tight hug, gently swaying the crying man.
Leaning into Face, Murdock let him rock him for a while. Only after a few long moments Face heard his soft words. “You were right. I should have let you come with me. I needed you.”
“I’m here Murdock. Always,” Face whispered, tightening his hold on him.
He felt Murdock nodding at his neck. “I know. That’s why I came back so early.” Then Murdock’s strong arms came around him, clinging to him.
“You want to talk about it?” Face asked. He wasn’t too sure what the right thing was to do now. He rarely saw Murdock so forlorn, lost. So desperate. But he would do everything possible to help him.
Murdock shook his head. “No. Just hold me Face. Just hold me.”
Without another word Face quickly took off Murdock’s shoes, all the while careful to never loose contact with Murdock. Then he eased him gently back and drew him close, spooning his lover. After throwing the covers over them he switched the light off and finally snuggled even closer to Murdock, slowly stroking him. Wrapping him into his love for him.
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