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Yes, We Have No Bananas

Yes, We Have No Bananas

By Rackuhn


Rating:  G

Disclaimer:  No money made here and they're not mine to own.  They do, however, belong to Stephen J. Cannell, creator of the A-Team (as if you didn't know).  So don't try and sue me.  I have no money.

Warnings:  Deaths of some very minor characters.  Read the story, you'll understand.

Summary:  Face comforts Murdock over the loss of a couple of loved ones.  Dedicated to all of those who have lost a loved one whether it is family, friend, pet, or banana (you just don't realize how attached you can get to a banana).




Murdock sat on the hospital bed, not in his usual bed in the VA Psychiatric ward, but one of LA County's finest emergency room facilities.  The doctors had just finished putting on a brand new "camouflage" colored cast on his left hand and arm.  Though he really wanted "day-glo yellow", he ended up changing his mind when he thought that the color would be too loud and keep him up at night.


He was looking dejected; with unshed tears in his eyes.  All he would say to anyone that asked him a question was that "it was all his fault and that he was responsible for their deaths".  He just sat there rocking back and forth thinking over and over again about how they were gone and there was nothing that he could have done to help.  The nurses and doctors tried everything that they could think of to try and cheer him up, but nobody was able to get through to him, not even the nurse who brought him the helium filled hospital glove with a smiley face drawn on it. 


Then quietly the door to his room opened and a very cautious Faceman entered.  He quickly walked over to Murdock's side and placed his hand on his friend's shoulder.


"Hey Murdock.  Are you okay?" Face asked seeing the tears in his best friends eyes, wondering what had caused them.


Murdock looked up at Face and jumped off the table and threw his arms around his friend.  Face winced slightly as the newly hardened cast on Murdock's arm slammed into his own back.  Face then wrapped his arms around Murdock in a supportive hug.  "Everything is going to be okay Murdock.  I'm here.  I'll help you get through this," Face said as he pushed Murdock away from him to look into his face. 


Tears were streaming down Murdock's cheeks.  "Oh Face, it was horrible, just horrible.  I just can't believe that they are gone and it's all my fault."


Face handed Murdock a crisp, white handkerchief that he pulled out of his pocket, which Murdock gratefully accepted.  "Tell me what happened.  Maybe it will make you feel better," Face pleaded.


"No, it's just too horrible!" Murdock cried out and turned away from Face.


"Come on, Murdock," Face said in a calming voice.  He then walked up behind the pilot and placed his hand on his friend's arm.  "It's alright.  Just tell me what happened."


Murdock's shoulders elevated and lowered when he released a huge, shuddering sigh.  "I killed them Face.  I killed Barney and Benny!" 


Face removed his hand from Murdock's arm and took a step back in confusion.  "Barney and Benny?  Uh Murdock, who are Barney and Benny?"


Murdock slowly turned around to look at Face, tears welling up in his eyes again.  "You know!  Barney and Benny.  My pet banana peels!" Murdock cried out in exasperation.   "I told you about them this morning when you called and checked in, remember?  I told you how we met at breakfast and became fast friends?"  He then put his hands in his pants pockets and pulled out two blackened banana peels.


"Oh, oh yeah.  That's right, that Barney and Benny."  Face just stood there a minute as he tried to figure out how two banana peels had landed Murdock in the emergency room.  "Just…what exactly happened?"


"It was just after you called this morning.  Barney, Benny and I were playing a game of "I Spy", when Barney started to look sick."


"Sick?  Just how does a banana peel look…sick?" Face asked. 


"You know, sick!  He started turning black and it happened real quick-like too.  Boy it really scared me, Face.  I didn't know what to do.  So I laid him down on my bed and tucked him under the covers, you know, in case he was getting a fever.  Benny was helping me tuck him in when he must have decided to go for help.  He must have crawled over to the edge of the bed and jumped to the floor.  I swear Face, I never saw him there!"  Murdock was starting to get more agitated as his story continued.


"Alright Murdock.  Take a deep breath and calm down."  Murdock did as he was ordered.  "Now feel better?" Face asked concerned over how his friend was doing.  Murdock simply nodded his head yes.  "Okay now, I want you to continue."


"Well, Barney seemed to be getting worse, so I decided to go for help.  I went to go call one of the nurses in when I felt something under my foot.  I realized immediately that it was Benny, but it was too late.  Benny did the only thing he could think of and that was to push me off.  When he did, I fell backwards, landing hard with my arm hitting the corner of wooden box that was holding all of my Captain Belly Buster tradable toys."  Murdock stopped long enough to take a quivering breath.  "Oh Face, it was horrible!  There on the floor lay Benny, with a size 12 footprint on his back.  He never had a chance.  As I tried to get up, one of the nurses came in to check on me.  I tried to get her to look at both Benny and Barney, but she decided to help me first.  By the time I got back to my feet, Benny was gone and Barney went shortly after that.  She tried to help them Face, but it was too late."


Murdock ran over once again and flung himself into Faces arms.  Face just stood there holding Murdock and shaking his head softly trying to figure out what he was going to do with Murdock.  Face pushed himself away and held Murdock by the shoulders.  "Murdock, look at me."  Murdock slowly lifted his eyes to meet Face's.


"I know that you are hurting, but maybe if we got you another banana peel pet it might help," Face said as sincerely as possible. 


"No it's…it's too soon!" Murdock cried out.


"Maybe, but just maybe having another banana peel pet with you will help you with your grief.  Now I'm not saying that you will get over loosing Barney and Benny, but maybe, over time with the help of your new pet, the pain won't be so bad."


Murdock's brown eyes looked directly into Face's blue ones.  "You mean it's like getting a new puppy when your old dog dies?"


Faced shrugged.  "Something like that, yeah.  You will still miss the old one, but the new one will help make things better."  For the first time that afternoon, Murdock smiled.


At that time, the door to the room opened and in walked a beautiful, blonde haired nurse.  "Oh, you must be Mr. Murdock's friend.  Are you here to take him back home?"


Face smiled one of his most brilliant smiles.  "That's right!"


She smiled back at him sheepishly, and then looked over at Murdock to see the smile on his face.  "Mr. Murdock, are you feeling any better?"


Murdock started to shake his head when he decided to answer her instead.  "Yeah.  I think I do feel a little better.  Face is gonna help me take care of a few things and then he's gonna take me home."


"Well that's nice of…of…"


"Just call me Templeton," Face told her as he once again flashed another smile her way.  Her heart started pounding and she fumbled through her pockets trying to find a pen.  "All right, Templeton," she said as a blush started crossing her cheeks.  Finally finding the pen, she handed the clipboard of discharge papers to Murdock so that he could sign the release forms.  "Now Mr. Murdock, you make sure that the doctors at the VA hospital check your arm tomorrow and if all is going well, you should be able to have that cast removed in about six weeks," she smiled at him and patted his shoulder.  She then handed him the discharge papers.


Murdock grabbed the papers from her hand and turned to Face.  "Come on Face, we have to go.  We have things that need to be done."  He took Face by the arm and started to pull him out the door.  Face started to protest and tried to get his arm back from Murdock so that he could talk to the nurse, but Murdock wouldn't let go.  They finally made it outside to Face's Corvette.


"Murdock, I was trying to talk to your nurse back there," Face whined.


"I know, but we got more important things to do than worry about your love life!"


"Like what?"


"Like what?" Murdock exclaimed.  "Well first we need to have a funeral for Barney and Benny.  Then we need to go the grocery store so that I can check out all the baby banana peels.  I want a really cute one.  You know, maybe a red one this time."


"Tell you what Murdock.  We'll hold a private ceremony back at the cabin that Hannibal is staying at.  We'll even get BA to build little coffins.  Then I have to take you back to the VA before they start to worry about you."


"But what about my new banana peel?"


"Don't you worry.  I'll stop by the store and get you a really cute one," Face said motioning Murdock to get into the car.


They quickly drove out to the cabin where Hannibal and BA were staying.


The service was brief but held with the utmost respect one could give to the two banana peels.  Murdock gave a touching testimonial about his two lost friends.  BA grumbled to himself the whole time, wondering how Face had conned him into building two tiny caskets.  "Faceman a bigger fool than the Fool is," BA thought to himself.


Hannibal tried desperately to keep a straight face as Murdock went on and on about how valiant Benny's efforts were in trying to save his friend Barney.  He almost broke out in laughter at the thought of Benny "jumping" off of the bed to save his sick friend.


Finally after the service was done, Face drove Murdock back home to the VA hospital, where the worried doctors and nurses made sure that he was locked up safe and sound in his room.  One of the doctors even wrote on his chart that he was not to have any bananas until further notice.


Once Face had dropped off Murdock, he then went to a small novelty shop not that far away from the VA hospital.  After searching for about five minutes, he came across what he was looking for.  He purchased the treasured item and then had them wrap it in a small box with holes cut into it.  The clerk kept looking at him as if he had lost his mind, but did what he was told.  Shrugging, Face took the package and headed back to the VA.


Using one of his phony I.D.'s that he had made up ahead of time, he was allowed into Murdock's room.  "Faceman, what are you doing here so soon?" Murdock asked looking at the box in Face's hands.


"Just keeping a promise," Face said slyly as he handed the box over to Murdock.  Murdock took the box and seeing the holes in the sides, cocked his head and asked Face, "What's in the box?" 


"Open it."


Murdock carefully pulled off the wrapping paper and open the top up.  He looked cautiously inside and his eyes flew wide open as he jumped up and hugged Face.  He quickly pulled himself away and carefully pulled out a rubber banana peel.  "Oh wow Face, this is great!  I think I'll call him Buddy!"


"Buddy should be with you for a long while Murdock.  He's guaranteed not to get sick and turn black," Face stated as his smile grew bigger. 


Murdock suddenly turned away petting his new little pet.  "I'm gonna teach you how to stay away from monkeys, and show you how to climb trees, oh wait, you probably already know how to do that since you were born on one…"


Face quietly left the room.  He knew Murdock was going to be fine.  Besides, he wanted to go back to the other hospital and find that nurse that took care of Murdock.



The End!


Yes, We Have No Bananas by Rackuhn



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