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Return To Me

Return To Me

Author: Monte


Rating: PG
Copyright: July 6, 2004
Warnings: Slash, angst, loneliness, tears, mention of death of major character, more angst and tears.  Geez, I gotta tell the muse to lay off the moonshine.  Sorry but she makes me do terrible things to the boys we love.  *Holds out a box of Puffs Plus*  Here, I've got plenty and you may need them.  Don't blame me if your keyboard shorts out, I warned you.
Disclaimer:  I don't own any of the boys, which is good for them but too bad for me.
Pairing: F/M
Summary: Face and Murdock have been broken apart by a force greater than either of them can fight against.
Comments: Pretty please





Face's POV


Our house is quiet. Much too quiet. The only sound is the ticking of the clock in the kitchen. You weren't here when I woke up this morning. You haven't been here all day. I don't know where you went or why you left or when you'll be back. I only know I miss you. You don't realize how much space in your life one person can take up. At least not until they're gone and all you have is a gaping void in your soul. I've wandered from room to room, upstairs and back down as I wait for you to return to me. Every time I pass the telephone, I pause, willing it to ring. I'm dying to hear your voice again. As I slowly make my way into our bedroom, I step into the closet where your shirts are hanging. I breathe deeply to capture as much of your scent as I possibly can. I always loved the way you smelled. Somehow you always managed to smell like the sunshine to me. All warm and fresh, making me want to curl up in your embrace forever. There's your jacket, the leather one you always wear. You can't be really gone, I tell myself. Not without the tiger on your back. If your jacket is here, you must plan on coming back. Sooner or later, you'll be here. I just have to wait. So on with my vigil of waiting and watching. As the day slips past, I stare out the window at the cars going by on their way home. Each time I hope it's you but each time I'm disappointed. Silently I pray, pleading and begging God to send you back to me so I won't have to be alone any more. But as the darkness descends and the light begins to fade, so does my hope. It's getting late, you should have been here by now. What have I done to drive you away? Did I make you angry, did I hurt you in some way? Tell me what I can do to earn your love again. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Losing you is a terrifying thought. From the old recliner in the corner, I watch the moon rise over the trees. It's fully dark now and I should go to sleep. But I can't face the sight of our king size bed alone. It's too big for one man alone. You need to be here to share it with me. So instead I curl up in the chair, denying the nagging truth. I am alone. So utterly alone. I don't know how you slipped out of my fingers, but now you've gone and somehow I know we won't be together again for a very long time, if ever. Hot tears spill onto my cheeks as the loneliness swallows me whole. Without you, I have no reason to fight it. So I allow myself to sink further and further into the black pit of despair because I know you aren't coming back to pull me out.



Murdock's POV


BA pulled the van over at the corner, from here I can see the house I shared with Face. Hannibal thought I should at least take a change of clothes with me. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted we come by anyway. Now as I sit here, staring at the dark house bathed in the pale moonlight, I know I can't go back. Not yet, at any rate. The feelings are still too strong. I know the Colonel's trying his best but he's not the one who just lost a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. Face and I were more than lovers; we were two halves of a whole. Our souls were united. Tearing us apart was the most excruciatingly painful thing I've ever felt. He asks me one last time if I'm sure I don't want to go in even for a minute. I shake my head no. I can't go back yet, not with him still there. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn my head to gaze into his concerned blue eyes. He reminds me very gently that the man I love, my precious Tem, is gone. There's nothing I can do to bring him back. I tried, but the blood ebbed out of his body and through my fingers into the dirt. The memories are still there, I tell him. I know my love's body is in a coffin buried near a beautiful willow tree. A weeping willow, I remember. How appropriate. A tear falls onto my hand. It's been days and I still cry when I think of him. If I could have one wish, just one, I'd wish he could return to me so I could tell him I love him one last time.





Return To Me by Monte



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