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This page last viewed: 2017-10-17 and has been viewed 1440 times


by Monte

Rating: PG
Copyright: March 6, 2004
Type: Light Slash
Pairing: Implied Face/Murdock
Status: Complete
Summary: Murdock loves Face but knows he can't hold him too tightly.
Warnings: kinda sad. Male/male kissing and touching
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or make any money from this work of fiction.
Comments: Please.
Beta read by: no one yet
Dedicated To: For Val and Franne, as part of my act of 'Val'or :-)



They stood staring out at the beach. The waves crashed on the reef. The
moonlight highlighted Face's golden blond hair. He sighed as he thought about
the tender lovemaking he had shared with Murdock earlier.

Murdock turned to look at Face. He gazed at the guarded expression on his
lover's face. "You remember the first time we met, Face? What was the first
thing you noticed?"

"Your smile. Your crazy, goofy grin. I always loved to see you smile."

Murdock reached over to cover Face's hand with his own. "You know I love you.
But I'm not going to hold you here. I want you to be happy. Now kiss me for the
memories and kiss me goodbye."

Face stepped over to embrace the lanky pilot. He buried his face in Murdock's
hair. He inhaled the scent of bubblegum shampoo. It was one of Murdock's quirks
that he would miss. He pressed his lips against Murdock's in a sweet loving
manner. He felt his groin begin to throb as Murdock's tongue slipped inside his

They remained liplocked as Murdock slid his hands around Face's hips to grip his
denim clad ass. Face groaned into Murdock's mouth and pushed him against the
balcony railing. When they broke apart, they were both panting in the cool night
air. "I want you, I need you, but I can't make myself love you. You deserve
someone who can love you the way you love them," Face whispered.

Murdock gently caressed Face's cheek. "You can't help it if you don't have the
same feelings I do. Let's make this goodbye a happy ending, ok?" He smiled at
the handsome conman to reassure him.

Face nodded and turned away. He silently slid open the glass door and walked
back inside the apartment.

Murdock turned to stare out at the ocean. He knew he would always love Face, but
he also knew holding him too tightly would frighten him away. At the sound of
footsteps, he glanced over his shoulder to see
Hannibal joining him. "They say
if you love someone, you gotta let them go. If they return, they'll stay
forever. But if they don't, they were never your's to begin with. He may be gone
for good,

"Are you going to be alright, Murdock? How are you going to handle seeing him
day in and day out if he finds someone else?"
Hannibal paused before asking,
"What are you going to do?"

A bittersweet grin crept over Murdock's lips. "I'll smile so he'll be happy.
I'll laugh so he won't see me cry. I'll torment BA so he won't know my heart's
breaking." He considered the words he had spoken. "Yeah, even if it kills me
inside, I'm gonna smile for him. I want him to remember the good times we had. I
don't want him to feel guilty for not loving me the way I love him. Maybe if I
smile, he can find the courage to go on."

Murdock shifted his gaze to watch the stars twinkling overhead. "We'll always be
friends. Nothing can change our friendship. At least I'll have that much anyway.
Half is better than none, I guess. I'll be alright,
Hannibal. You'll see."

Hannibal nodded and laid a supportive hand on Murdock's shoulder before
returning to the apartment.

Murdock forced himself to smile. Face's happiness was more important to him than
the pain he was feeling. He couldn't bear to see Face unhappy. So he resolve to
smile and hide the tears that wanted to flow. If he could make Face happy, he
would be content to be a friend instead of a lover. Just before he left the
balcony, he whispered to himself, "Don't think about losing him. Just remember
how much you love him... and smile."



Smile by Monte



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