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This page last viewed: 2017-04-29 and has been viewed 2621 times
Ways to Tell Him
by Sarah Gerber
Summary: 10 ways for Face to tell Murdock he loves him.
Author's Note: Hi guys, this is the first in a series of 10 stories I intend to write. Each will have Face revealing his feelings for Murdock in different ways and situations. I've only had 6 ideas so far, so any suggestions would be welcomed and much appreciated. :) They're all pretty short but I'm going to pick one eventually to continue. I'm posting this with html tags. Hope it doesn't come out a mess. Ok here it is, my first A-Team fic (and 2nd fic overall). *deep breath*
Since I can't do italics, internal dialogue between * and *.
10 Ways to Tell Him
Face could not believe that this was really happening, that he was leaving the team. He did not think it would ever happen. It wasn't because he thought the A-Team would be forever - nothing was forever he just didn't think he would ever be strong enough to make a decision to leave. It would be too scary. In fact it *was* scaring the hell out of him. He didn't like change. "I'm being stupid. How could this be good for anyone," he thought to himself.
"Faceman is getting married, settling down. Can you guys believe it?" Murdock looked earnestly at Hannibal and BA from the back seat of the van while slapping Face's back vigorously. "I can't believe it," he finished.
"Murdock, would you cut it out?" Face looked pained, wondering when this abuse from Murdock would end.
"Hey man, I still think you're never going to make a good husband," BA said. He was only worried about his friend, not meaning to throw a damper on Face's big day. He hoped Face knew what he was getting himself into.
"The big guy is right. You're not cut out for that," Murdock nodded his head with conviction.
"Aw guys, give me a break. Have more faith in me will ya?" Could they be right? Marriage *is* a big commitment. He should know himself better than anyone knew him but he still did not have the slightest idea whether this was the right thing to do. This was what he always wanted. He loved Kelly, and with her, he could have a real family. What would it be like to have a real family? Face could not wait to find out, to experience it.
"Of course not. I was just thinking, I'll never get used to Hunkman,"
"Yeah, he terrorises them. And I don't want to be stuck springing the crazy foo' out of the VA every time," BA continued.
"Besides, who's going to knock on the front doors when you're gone, Face? None of us are pretty enough."
Catching on, Murdock decided to keep the ball rolling with his very own frivolous reason for wanting Face to stay. With as much passion as he could muster, looking very much the part of a
Murdock looked to Hannibal and BA for help but was getting none of it.
Face had played in his head dozens of scenarios when he would tell Murdock how he felt. He always ended up feeling totally humiliated. This one, the real one, was different. He was surprised he didn't feel the least bit embarrassed even though Hannibal and BA were right there - now *that* did not happen even in his worst case scenario. He knew the guys too well. And Murdock was the kindest soul he ever met. He was sure he would have no reason to feel humiliated by any single thought that was crossing the minds of his three friends. That realisation made him brave and he was determined to see this through. A bit shaken by his own boldness, but thoroughly relieved, Face asked, "You mean it?" He was out of breath and it came out as a whisper, but he was sure Murdock heard him.
After a long beat, Murdock was still confused. "Wh.... what?"
"I will stay for you. Just say the word."
Here's the 2nd story. Face tells Murdock he loves him with the help of Sam Beckett (Quantum leap crossover). For people unfamiliar with the show, Sam is a scientist that travels through time and takes the place of various people to put things that once went wrong right.
"Now Sam, you're Templeton Peck, Face or Faceman to your friends. Vietnam War vet, on the run from the government, known to be able to charm anything out of anyone, ladies' man "
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there. On the run from the government?"
"Relax Sam, he's one of the good guys. He and his friends, that's the A-Team, were wrongly accused of robbing the Bank of Hanoi on their own initiative. They were under orders. Now, they help people. You know, protect the defenseless and all that."
"The A-Team." Sam Beckett, the frequent but still nowhere near seasoned, time traveler furrowed his brows in concentration as he searched his swiss-cheesed memory for any information on this familiar name. "I think I remember them, Al. They're some sort of folk heroes aren't they?"
"That's right. The leader of the group is Colonel John '
"Al, what is it. What am I doing here?"
"Twenty-four hours from now, they're going to be captured. The trial will be quick, and they will be sentenced to death before a firing squad."
"What?" Sam was incredulous. "For bank robbery?"
"Apparently, they got implicated in a murder. They were eventually cleared with the help of evidence uncovered by Captain Murdock." Al paused and looked up gravely from the link to meet his friend's concerned gaze. "But it was five years too late."
Sam felt weak in the knees. He had done this so many times, but yet he hadn't figured out how to handle news like this. Every leap still felt like the first time. Every wrong he had to right felt impossible. Sam stopped himself quickly before self-doubt overwhelmed him. There was no time for that. Lives were at stake and he would not allow himself to fail. "I need more, Al."
"I'll see what I can get from Ziggy. Lieutenant Peck is still keeping mum, keeps staring at the mirror. I think he likes you." With that, he disappeared behind an invisible door, leaving Sam alone again.
Just as Sam was about to continue exploring the apartment he had found himself in, he heard the door unlock and turned to find a man in a brown bomber jacket and baseball cap standing hesitantly beside the doorway.
"Murdock?" Sam ventured.
"Listen Face, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I " Both hands tucked safely inside the pockets of his khaki pants, Murdock stared at his shoes, unable to bring himself to look at his friend. He couldn't finish; he didn't know what else to say.
"Murdock. Why don't you sit down and we can talk." Sam approached the visibly distressed pilot and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Murdock decided to risk a peek at whom he thought was his best friend. He wasn't as mad as he imagined. If he was angry with him, it wasn't showing on his handsome face. If their friendship was over, it wasn't showing in his gentle eyes. Feeling a bit better, he let Sam escort him to the couch.
When Murdock seemed to have calmed down a little, Sam took a deep breath and said, "Now, it seems you have things you'd like to say to me." He returned Murdock's apprehensive look with an encouraging smile.
"I shouldn't I shouldn't have kissed you, Face. You're my friend, I I shouldn't have."
Sam smiled. So that was what Murdock was so worked up about. The way he was acting, you'd think he had killed someone. He was relieved, but at a loss as to what to do. He hadn't the slightest clue how Face felt about Murdock. "Great time to leap me in," he mumbled to "Him", looking up at the ceiling.
"Great time to what?" Murdock was worried. Face didn't look right. He had changed somehow.
"Nothing." Sam shrugged. His lips moved to offer more explanation but then he decided against it, and instead coughed awkwardly. Privately, he was trying to come up with a way to get out of this. He should let Face deal with this. He was here for the bigger, more pressing problem of the A-Team's capture and execution.
Murdock looked across at Sam who seemed to be having the worst time since the POW camp. "No, Face hasn't changed. Just out friendship is all. If it still exists that is." Murdock thought sadly.
"Face, you don't have to say anything. You don't feel the same way. I know that." Murdock could not stand to sit down anymore and started pacing the room. "I don't suppose you would say yes to a memory displacement operation?" Murdock asked hopefully.
Sam grinned. "It wasn't that bad, Murdock."
"You don't want to be around me ever again do you?"
"You're still my friend." Sam whispered. Listening to the fear and desperation in this man's words had put a lump in his throat. He was sure this was what Face would say if he were here. He didn't know him but appreciated that it would take a special person to earn such devotion. He hoped to god that this Faceman could reciprocate Murdock's love. "Nothing has changed." Sam tried again, this time more convincingly, when he saw the doubt written all over Murdock's face.
Sam wished he could give Murdock more. Tell him he loved him back, but he couldn't. It was breaking his heart. "Al, where are you?" he thought desperately.
"You know it doesn't cheapen our friendship. All the extra feelings I have for you. You know that don't you, Face?"
"Of course I do. Don't be silly." Sam answered without a moment's hesitation. Thinking Murdock could use a hug, he walked swiftly across the room and smoothly intercepted Murdock's rapid pacing with the help of strong arms and a firm, but gentle gaze. "Come here." With that, the two men held each other in a warm embrace. Sam heard Murdock sighed softly and felt his body relaxing into his arms, as though he was surrendering to the comfort he was all too happy to provide.
"Sam, Sam! We've figured it out!" Al appeared out of nowhere, excitement apparent. "Uh am I interrupting something?" Al waggled his eyebrows suggestively when he saw Sam and Murdock.
Sam could not help but grimaced at Al's bad joke, but he regained his composure and signaled for him to keep talking. Al finally managed to stop smirking at the pair, but only with considerable effort.
"I'm sure you know by now what happened between these two lovebirds right before you leaped in?" Sam hoped Al wasn't merely just being liberal with the use of the word "lovebirds".
He nodded in the affirmative and Al continued, " Well, according to Ziggy, I don't know what Face said or didn't say to him, but Murdock disappeared for a while in the original history. He didn't show up until after the arrest of the A-Team was announced. They were caught by a Colonel Decker while helping out, believe it or not, Hulk Hogan and his friend. Apparently Face scammed the ID of the wrong FBI agent."
"There's an eighty-five percent chance the temporary disappearance of the good captain was a crucial factor. Ziggy figured he was either going to be important for the mission, or he was going to rescue his friends from Decker."
"Face, I think I'd better get going. I'm going back to the VA. Just tell Hannibal and BA I don't feel too well when they ask about me tonight at the Hulkster's match would ya? I need to be alone for a while."
Al was frantic. "Tell him you love him!"
"But you don't know that," Sam protested.
At Murdock's quizzical look, Sam added, " You don't know that you need to be alone right now, Murdock."
Murdock was unconvinced, wondering if he had done some permanent damage to Face's head just by revealing his feelings. Nevertheless, he went along with it. "But I do, Face ... Thanks for everything." He turned and started to leave.
"No, no! He wants you to tell him. Tell him!" Al cried. "He thought he was dead, Sam, and his only regret was never having told Murdock how he felt."
Relief washed over Sam. He quickly reached for Murdock's hand and held it tightly. "Don't go. Please." History was going to change.
This one is an unplanned story. I wrote it on the train on my way home. And it's really late now hope it's not too dumb. <g> Face and Murdock get dressed for a party.
"Now Murdock, I need you on your best behavior. If everything goes well, I get both the girl and the membership."
"Ok honey," Murdock shouted from inside the bathroom.
"I'm serious. This party is very important to me."
"I don't get it. If you're so worried about me screwing things up for you, why bring me? Own up, Face. Why do you need me?"
For a moment, Face faltered. He hadn't exactly told his best friend the truth about why he had to have him along. "Well must there always be a reason Murdock? I just thought some fresh air and a nice party would do you good. I mean, we do things together all the time, don't we? You're my best pal."
"You know, I'm racking my brains in here and I'm having a hard time remembering the last time we did something together just because you thought it would be good for *me*."
"Now, that's not fair."
"It's always, 'Murdock sweetheart, I need you to be the date for my date's favorite gal pal, sister, aunt or or Murdock honey, I *really* need a chauffeur, or Murdock my bestest buddy, you're so crazy I'm sure all my phony artist friends would be impressed, or "
'Alright I get it," Face interrupted, knowing very well that Murdock had a list long enough to last him a whole day. "I *thought* you enjoyed these outings, Murdock. You always have a great time."
"That's not the point." *Damn you Face, do you have to sound so hurt and make me feel bad?*
Face wondered why Murdock got so serious or of a sudden. He had been in a great mood all day since he sprung him out of the VA.
"Are you done putting on that tux yet? You've been in that bathroom for an awfully long time." Face glanced at the bathroom door as he tucked his shirt in. "You know I spared no expense on that one. You're going to look great in it."
"I'm having some trouble with the bow tie."
"Well you're gonna have to come out of there for me to help you."
A few seconds later, Murdock finally stepped out of the bathroom, still struggling with his tie. Seeing that, Face quickly reached over and brushed his hands away gently. "Let me."
While Face worked on Murdock's tie, he couldn't help but let a little smile escape. He didn't know why, but he was enjoying this too much.
"There's something you're not telling me. Don't think I didn't catch that evil grin."
"You're getting too paranoid for your own good. You should see Dr. Richter about it." *It was a nice moment, I felt good, and I smiled. Give me a break, Murdock.*
"There, all done." When Face was finished, he gave the tie a pat and went back to the closet to pull out another dress shirt. "Chin up, Murdock. That pout looks cute and all but it's not going to win you any hearts."
"I thought you already decided on that shirt you're wearing. How many shirts are you going to have to try?"
"It wasn't very comfortable," Face shrugged.
Murdock was about to put on his vest when his breath caught at the sight of an unclad Face. His breath always caught, much to his absolute dismay, no matter how many times he saw Face's fine-looking torso. When he realized he had stopped moving and was in fact staring, he quickly recovered himself, hoping Face did not notice. Face had on another outfit by then.
"I like this one. It's nice," Murdock offered.
"Why thank you, Murdock." Face checked himself in the mirror and looked pleased. "What do you know, you have some taste after all."
Face turned to look at his friend, expecting an indignant retort to his jibe, but was disappointed to be greeted by a still solemn Murdock. Now he was really starting to feel awful about the reason he needed him at the party.
"Here let me help you." Face moved to help Murdock put on his tuxedo jacket when he saw how that piece of garment was fast becoming a minor disaster at his not-so-gentle hands.
"Right arm." Murdock rather gladly obliged and extended his right arm.
"Now left." Face liked doing this. It felt right.
"You'd make someone a pretty good wife yourself too," Murdock teased. Face had said the exact same thing to him once at Cup a Joe when Murdock was showing off his culinary skills. He knew face was only kidding but some dumb part of him wanted those words to mean something so much it tried to convince him to say some dumb things back, like 'Only if that someone was you'. So there was this little war inside his head and fortunately, the sensible part won. He still said something dumb anyway, like 'where's my paprika,' but at least it was "crazy foo' Murdock" dumb, and not "love foo' Murdock" dumb. He wondered sometimes if Face suspected anything. That war in his head had to have lasted a good few seconds.
*Only if that someone was you.* Face was finished putting the jacket on Murdock and was just now smoothing out the creases on the front when he was struck dumb by his own thought. He allowed his hands to linger on Murdock's chest while strangely aware of his nearness. Face felt peculiar as all his senses was seemingly heightened. He could smell Murdock's shampoo and aftershave, feel the heat radiating from his body and hear his soft breathing. He felt as though his hands were burning a hole right through the fabric. He found himself mesmerized by the beating of Murdock's heart beneath his hands. It was almost magical to him. This felt too much like a dream. The air was too charged, his mind wasn't working right, and he couldn't move not his hands, not his legs. And his best friend looked too handsome.
*This has to be a dream. Nothing makes sense and you get crazy ideas when you dream. Snap out of it, Face.*
Through sheer force of will, Face removed his hands from Murdock's chest and stepped away to retrieve his vest. He knew he should say something to break the awkward silence but he did not trust his own voice. He was embarrassed and wondered how he had looked to Murdock. Could Murdock tell what he was thinking? After that display, Face wouldn't be surprised if he could.
"How do I look?" It was Murdock who spoke first. Face's back was to him but Murdock could feel something was wrong. He was worried that he might have upset his friend. He had gazed into Face's eyes for a moment too long when he was straightening his jacket. He could have sensed his feelings. *Stupid, stupid. What did I do that for?* Murdock wanted to kick himself real hard.
Responding to Murdock, Face turned and for the first time in his life, actually felt his heart missed a beat or two. He hadn't noticed it before when he was putting it on for him, but that tuxedo looked spectacular on Murdock. He was perfect.
"You look gorgeous," Face whispered before he could stop himself. Face groaned inwardly. That did not come out right. Or rather, it came out *too* right.
Face watched apprehensively as Murdock stepped closer as though to say something, but he eventually stopped himself.
"I know." Murdock smiled. "You don't look too bad yourself."
*Has Murdock always had such a beautiful smile?*
"Uh listen Murdock, I wasn't completely honest with you about the party tonight."
"I needed you to be someone's date."
"You mean 'need'. You still need me don't you?" Face seemed ready to cry and that surprised Murdock. "Relax, Facey-guy, I'm not about to kill you. Who is she? Kelly's sister?"
Face shook his head.
"Don't tell me it's her mum."
"Her brother actually." Face finally came clean. He felt irrationally exposed as though just by talking about someone gay, Murdock could figure out his newfound feelings for him.
"You told her I was gay?" Murdock was ready to laugh.
"I'm sorry, Murdock. It's just he just broke up with someone and Kelly thought it would be good for him to get out of the house. She was so worried "
"I'll go," Murdock sighed. Male date, female date, it really wasn't much of a difference to him. It had always been all about Face anyway. Besides, he'd never have the heart to disappoint Face.
"Yes. Now pick a jacket and we can get going before I change my mind."
Face was conflicted. He wasn't sure how well he would take seeing Murdock on a date with another man now, after what just happened. *What* exactly just happened anyway? Face considered the question for a moment and realised that the feelings he had for Murdock weren't new. They were just old feelings he'd always had stripped naked that was all. No more pretenses, no more excuses. *So I'm in love with Murdock now?* Face was stunned but at the same time excited about the possibilities.
"C'mon Face, you don't want to keep our dates waiting."
"Murdock, you don't have to go. *Really*."
"No Face, I'm looking forward to it." Murdock seemed to be back to his old chipper self. "It'd be fun."
"I'll just make up an excuse for you. I'm sure Kelly would understand "
"Face, Face," Murdock interrupted before Face could continue. "It's not a big deal. I'm gay."
He had kept it from Face for so long only because he knew that if Face knew, his feelings for him would become obvious, and their friendship would suffer. Murdock didn't plan on telling Face, but at that moment, the exact thought running through his mind was, "Oh, what the hell". For one second, it felt like the thing to do. *So this is it. The big revelation. Not what I always imagined. They didn't call you crazy for nothing, you impulsive fool.*
" and Michael's a great guy, I'm sure " Face stopped short then. Murdock's words finally registered. "You're gay?"
Murdock put on his best serious-serious face, as opposed to his pretend-serious face, and nodded.
"Oh." A beat. "OH." Another longer beat. "That's good. Uh it's nice. Thanks for telling me."
"Now can we go?"
*Oh, what the hell. Just tell him.* "Only if you would be my date."
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