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And So It Goes

And So It Goes
by Susanna Smith


Rating: PG maybe a weak PG-13
Warnings
: A little Slash (Still can't believe I'm writing something a little slashy!) Also, I didn't have this one beta read, since I doubt I'd have the courage to post it if I waited. (I did proof-read it though.)
Summary: Post-Curtain Call. Face opens up to an unconscious Murdock. I almost feel like I cheated on this one, since I was listening to a song and could just here Face's voice saying this to Murdock.
Covering my Butt: I don't own The A Team. (I wish I did though.) I'm not making money off The A Team. Also, I didn't write the song, "And so it Goes." I'm pretty sure Billy Joel did, at least, I know he sang it. It's a lovely song off his album, "Storm Front." Billy, I didn't make money off of using your song either.
Important note!: Everything Face says out-loud before
Hannibal's entrance is the lyrics of the song, "And so it Goes." I didn't put them in verse form, since Face is actually speaking them, not singing.

*******************


Face remained when all others left. He paced for a quick moment then stopped and looked down at Murdock. He looked so pale even after BA's transfusion. He looked so weak. What really bothered Face, though, was how peaceful he looked. Murdock wasn't peaceful. He was mania, energy; Murdock was passion. Face took a few steps and soon he was sitting by Murdock's side.

They had gotten him to a hospital as quickly as they could. BA had never driven so fast. Murdock moaned occasionally at first then grew eerily silent. By the time they got there, he was almost gone. The doctors still weren't sure if he would make it. He wouldn't die. Face refused to let him die, not like this. Not with so much left to be said between them. Face had tried to talk to Murdock earlier, before the mission, before the gun ripped through their lives and Murdock's flesh. It was hard for Face, the Catholic boy, the woman-chaser to admit he's feeling those feelings. But he did. Murdock had opened his mouth to interrupt, but Hannibal barged in, unwittingly interrupting Face's troubled confession and Murdock's reaction. The conversation dropped. After all, they had a case to work on. They would always have later, right? Well now Face confronted present that held no guarantees for the future.

Face took Murdock's hand in his and tried to find the words to speak. "In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and strong to heal the wounds from lovers past until a new one comes along."

He was groping and he knew it. He focused back on the interrupted conversation and sighed. "I spoke to you in cautious tones. You answered me with no pretense and still I feel I said too much. My silence is my self defense."

Face closed his eyes to the raw emotion and faint beeping of the machines around him. He thought back to the last time his confessed his love that time to a woman that seemed to disappear so after. "And every time I've held a rose, it seems I only felt the thorns. And so it goes, and so it goes and so will you soon I
suppose."

Face's eyes burned red behind their lids. "But if my silence made you leave." Face's throat felt raw. "Then that would be my worst mistake. So I will share this room with you and you can have this heart to break."

"And this is why my eyes are closed. It's just as well for all I've seen. And so it goes, and so it goes and you're the only one who knows."

Face opened his eyes and stared directly at Murdock's eyes, closed and so peaceful. "So I would choose to be with you. As if the choice were mine to make. But you can make decisions too and you can have this heart to break. And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knows."

"Face?" Hannibal stepped in. "We have to go. Decker might be here any minute."

"But Murdock." Face said, not even turning his head to Hannibal.

"We won't go far. Since Decker never actually saw Murdock with us and since he's certifiably insane, Decker won't be able to touch him." Hannibal sighed. "I don't like doing this anymore than you do, but we can't care for Murdock in this condition. He needs the hospital. We'll get him as soon as we can."

Face rubbed Murdock's hand softly not looking to see if Hannibal was still there or not. Then he stood, leaned over, and kissed the pilot on the forehead.

Face didn't look back as he walked away. If he did, he would have seen half open eyes and a gentle smile.


The End


And So It Goes by Susanna Smith

 

 


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