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H.M. Murdock Meets Joxer The Mighty

H.M. Murdock Meets Joxer the Mighty

by Susan Owens (with help from Anne Beaudry)


Rated: G

Summary: Lighthearted A-Team/Xena Crossover.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: The usual.... characters aren't mine, not making any money.

Copyright 2000




Murdock's Journal

Monday, July 21, 1985


Hi, my name is H. M. Murdock, and do I have a story to tell you. It all began last week. I was minding my own business playing my 'Warrior Freedom' video game. When my door was opened and a young man was pushed inside and the door closed behind him. He was wearing a straightjacket and he looked so frightened. He looked like a colt ready to buck. I watched as he ran to the door and tried to break his way out. He keep hitting himself against the door. I knew it must have hurt, so why was he doing it? Suddenly, he lowered his head and charged the door. I quickly jumped in front of him and he ran right into me and sent us both to the floor.


"Are you crazy?" I asked him. He just looked at me with a blank look on his face. I came to believe he did not understand me. He began to talk to me in Ancient Greece, a language I didn't know. I didn't understand him. We both stared at each other. Fine, I thought to myself, how are we going to communicate? I know a few other languages, besides English, so I try them. First, German, nothing. He just stared at me. Then I tried Latin, still nothing. Then I decided to try French. This time I get a reaction. He knows French and begins to talk to me.




Joxer's Scroll


I am writing this down because I know no one will believe me. I don't believe it, and it happened to me!


It all began when I spilled tea on one of Gabby's scrolls. I didn't mean to do it, but Gabby acted like I ruined every single one of them. "You idiot!" she screamed at me. "Look what you did! I worked on this scroll all night. Get out of my sight now! Get out!"


I looked back at Xena, who was sharpening her sword. Her look told me to leave until Gabby calmed down. I pick up my stuff and leave. As I go, neither one of the women seem to care.


I walked along the road. I was lonely and I wished I hadn't been so clumsy. It suddenly starts to rain. It's a downpour and I must find shelter before I drown. I see a cave and enter it. It was dry inside and I would wait out the storm there. Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the front of the cave, sealing me in. I didn't panic because I know caves often have another way out, so I began to search for it. I was looking for a long time, when I suddenly see light up ahead. I race towards the light and soon I was outside the cave, but something was wrong. I noticed that the trees had no branches or leaves and that they were connected together by a strange rope. They were all in a straight row. The road was not made of dirt. I had no idea what the road was made of. I wondered about it when, suddenly I saw a monster heading towards me. I stood ready, with my sword out, thinking, maybe today I would die, but not without a fight.


I stood ready as the monster came towards me. The monster stopped and started roaring at me. I plunged my sword right into it. I know I wounded it because smoke came out of it and the human it ate is now free. I, Joxer the Mighty, have saved someone's life. I waited for the person to thank me, but he didn't. He started yelling at me. I didn't understand him, but I knew when I was being yelled at. I just walked away, without my sword because it was stuck in the monster. Suddenly, another monster approached me, this time I was helpless. I watched as the monster stopped and opened up. Two people got out. I know now that the monsters were some sort of a pet. I killed that man's pet, that was why he yelled at me. The two men approached me.


One said, "It's all right, son, no one is going to hurt you."


I did not understand his words and was frightened. I wished Xena and Gabby were here. The man suddenly grabbed me and put me into the monster. I tried to fight, but I was no match.


They took me to a strange castle. I was stripped of my armor and put in a strange-looking shirt. I don't know what to call it, you certainly could not fight in it. I couldn't even move my arms. Then they threw me into a room where a man was. He was dressed in the strangest clothes I had ever seen. He approached me and began to talk to me, but I did not understand him. He began to talk in different languages. Suddenly, I understood him. He was speaking the language of Gaul. I was so excited that at last someone I could speak to.




Murdock 's Diary


The minute I spoke French. He jumped and began to speak back.


"You understand the language of Gaul," the young man said to me.


"Yes," I replied. "I understand French."


He stared at me and then began to tell me about himself. "My name is Joxer the Mighty. Perhaps you've heard of me?"


I shook my head. "Sorry," I replied. "I've never heard of you."


He hangs his head low and shuffled his feet. "I 'm not surprised. No one really knows me. They know Xena and Gabby but not me."


He looked so sad so I placed my hand on his shoulder.


"Don't worry, my friend. I've never heard of Xena and Gabby before, either."


He was about to say something when the telephone rang. He jumped about ten feet in the air. "Chill," I said. "It's just the phone."


I picked up the phone and said hello. It turned out to be my friend, Face. He told me they were taking some time off. BA went to visit his mom and Hannibal was going to Bad Rock to see Maggie. Face said he was going sking with a new girl friend. I said, "Okay, Face." And hung up. I then turned to Joxer and smiled at him.


"Let's you and me get out of here for a while. By the way, the name is Murdock."




Joxer's Scroll


I was surprised that Murdock had never heard of Xena and Gabby. How could he not know who they were? Everyone knew them. Well, at least Xena. I was about to say something, when I heard a strange noise. It frightened me, but Murdock said to chill. I don't know why he said that. I hate being cold. I remembered when I went to Rome. Gods, that was freezing cold. I felt like an ice block. I was so glad to get back to Greece. But now I was lost again.


I looked at Murdock, he wanted to get out, but I didn't see how we could.


"How?" I asked.


He smiled at me. "You will see," he replied. "Wait, my friend, just wait."


Soon one of the men who put me in this prison came and unlocked the door. I thought Murdock would charge him, but he didn't. Instead he smiled at the man and talked to the guard. I didn't understand, but it must have been okay because we left the room with the guard.




Murdock's Diary


I smiled at Roy, that was the orderly that came to take me and Joxer to the van going to Crystal Lake. "That's how we will make our escape." I told Joxer. "Don't say anything. Just let me handle it." He nods his head. I know he doesn't fully understand but it will be fun.


As we got on the bus I told him my plan. I was going to confuse the driver when he taken a head count. I was really good at this.


The bus driver began the count. He gets up to ten and then I confused him. "Look," I scream, "isn't that a UFO?"


Everyone ran to the window and I took Joxer and snuck out the back of the van. The orderlies got everyone back under control. "Now, where did I leave off?" I heard the driver say.


"Nine." I replied from the outside. The driver nodded his head and returned to counting.


I grabbed Joxer and we took off. "Where to now, Murdock?" he asked me.


"Easy," I replied. "I'm taking you flying."


I expected this reaction from BA, but not from anyone else. He looked at me and fainted dead away.




Joxer's Scroll


Oh, no. I think to myself as I looked up into the face of my new friend.


"Did I faint?" I asked him.


He smiled at me "Yep. Dead away. Are you afraid of flying?"


I slowly got up and stared at him. "Yes, I'm afraid of flying. Gabrielle once told me about some of their friends who flew and one of them flew too close to the sun and fell to his death. I don't want that happening to me."


Murdock laughed as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I promise, Joxer. That will not happen to us. I am a very good pilot. I used to be a Thunderbird."


I stared at Murdock. He was once a Thunderbird? A legendary Thunderbird. I never met one, but Xena and Gabrielle had. I was so excited.


"Really?" I exclaimed. "How long ago?"


Murdock shook his head. "Oh, a long time ago. It seems like a century."


"Do you miss being a Thunderbird?" I asked.


"Man, yeah, I really do. Soaring up in the sky. Do all kinds of tricks. In the air I was free." Murdock replied.


"Why don't you become a Thunderbird again?"


He shook his head and looked sad. "Can't. I'm too old."


I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Murdock, someday you will be a Thunderbird again."




Murdock's Diary


Well, Joxer fainted. I asked if he was afraid of flying. He gives me this story about some friends of his friends flying too close to the sun or something like that.


I think he is really scared of flying. I reassure him by telling him I used to be a Thunderbird. This makes him excited, I guess he saw them perform. He even said someday I will be a Thunderbird again. That was wishful thinking.


"Well," I replied, "let's get going. I need to get a bird without Face's help."


"A bird?" he asked me.


"Yeah, a bird," I replied.


Joxer grabbed me. "What kind of bird?"


"Oh, probably a helicopter or a small plane."


He stared at me as if I didn't know what I was talking about. "You're from Greece, right?" I asked.


He nodded his head. "Don't they have helicopters and planes in Greece?"


He shook his head. "I don't think so."


Now it was my turn to stare. "Where, exactly, from Greece are you from?"




"I know there are planes in Athens." I replied.


He just shook his head. "I never saw any."


I said nothing more. We soon arrived at the air strip. I saw a nice-looking helicopter. I counted my money and realized I had just enough to rent it for an hour. So, I do. As we approached the helicopter, Joxer started acting strange. He jumped in front of me.


"I'll protect you from that monster, Murdock. They don't call me Joxer the Mighty for nothing."


He picked up a stick and charged the helicopter. I raced after him and tackled him.


"Are you crazy?" A stupid question. He was sharing a room with me in the mental ward.


"Why did you stop me?" he asked.


I helped him up. "Come on, let's go." I climbed inside and waited for him. He stared but slowly approached the helicopter.


"It's not a monster?"


"No," I replied. "Now, get in and buckle up."


He slowly climbed in and looked around. I guess the war really spooked him. I fastened his seat belt and checked my controls. Then we took off.




Joxer's Scroll


I was in this strange thing. Murdock called it a 'hell a copter', or something like that. Gabrielle went to hell once. She told me it was a bad place. Oh, no! Murdock was taking me to hell! He really was not my friend! I try to find a way out. I was not going to hell.


"Hey, what are you doing?" Murdock asked.


"I don't want to go to hell." I replied.


Murdock laughed. I didn't know if he was laughing at me or not.


"Hey, Joxer, I don't plan to go there, either. I may not be perfect, but I don't think I'm that bad."


"We are not going there? Then why are we in a hell a copter."


"Well, we can't fly without one, now can we?"


I understood. This was the only way Murdock can fly. He's no longer a Thunderbird. I place my hand on him. He looks at me.


"You really miss being a Thunderbird, don't you Murdock?"


He smiled sadly at me. "I told you I did, Joxer. It was the most exciting thing in my life."


I nodded my head. "Murdock, can this hell a copter, take us to Greece?"


He stared at me. "I only rented for an hour, but why?"


"So I can go home again and you can become a Thunderbird again."




Murdock's Diary


I smiled at my new friend. "I wouldn't mind going to Greece. It might be fun. Well, we've got to find my friend Face. If anyone can get us to Greece, he can."


"Great, my friend," Joxer said. "Let's go find Face."


I smiled at him. I knew where Face was at. He was with another blond bimbo. We soon arrived at the penthouse Face has scammed. Only the best will do for the Faceman.


I turned to Joxer. "Wait here. I've got to tell Face that you don't speak English."


He simply nodded his head and I entered the room without knocking. I heard laughter in the other room, so I called out.


"Face, can you come here a minute?"


I heard muttering and Face soon came into the room.


"Murdock! What do you want?"


"Me and my friend want to go to Greece."




"Greece, Face. We want to go to Greece."


"So go then. Who's stopping you?"


"We need your help, Face."


"What friend, Murdock?"


"My new friend, Joxer. He really wants to go home Face. He doesn't speak English so you will have to speak French to him."


Face nodded his head. "All right, Murdock. I'll see what I can do. Where's your friend?"


"Waiting outside the door."


I opened the door and there stood Joxer. As he entered the room there was a cry.






Joxer's Scroll


I couldn't believe it. There, standing in Murdock's friend's bedroom is Aphrodite. I was so glad to see her that I forgot who she was and gave her a hug. She returned my hug and I was so glad.


"Hey, studmuffin, I've been looking all over for you. Gabrielle is throwing fits. Why did you run off?"


I glared at her. "Because Gabby made it quite clear how she felt. I've got feelings you know."


"I know you have feelings, but now it's time to go home. Are you ready?"


I was just about to say yes, when I remembered Murdock.


"Wait. My friend, Murdock, used to be a Thunderbird. Can you change him back? It would mean so much to him."


Aphrodite smiled at me. "Anything for you, studmuffin." With the wave of her hand my friend Murdock became a beautiful brown bird. I've never seen a Thunderbird, but I guess that's what they look like.


I smiled. Murdock is now happy. "I'm ready," I said and we both disappeared in her bright light.




Murdock's Diary: written by Face


Hi, I am taking over Murdock's diary for a while. This is nuts, crazy, or whatever. Just a few moments ago I was with a beautiful woman. Then Murdock and his new friend came and my girl changed Murdock into a falcon, a hunting falcon. I stared at Murdock. Slowly I approached him, but he flew out of the window.


"Murdock! Come back here."


Murdock flew away. I ran to the elevator and went down to the ground floor. Running outside, I jumped into my car and followed Murdock. I got on the phone and contacted Hannibal.




"Hannibal, this is Face. We've got a problem. Murdock's been changed into a falcon.




Joxer's Scroll


When I opened my eyes, I noticed that nothing changed. I still see all of those strange monsters or pets. "Aphrodite, didn't you take us home?"


"In a way. You are in Greece, but you've got to find that cave again to get back in your timeline."


"My timeline?" I asked.


She nodded. "Yes, and I can't help you. I can only get you this far. Good luck!" And with that she vanished.




Joxer's Scroll


Well, here I am in Greece, I think, and Aphrodite has left me all alone. This isn't the Greece I know, and I miss my new friend Murdock. Well, at least now he is happy.


Let's see, I've got to find that cave. It's my only way back to the Greece I know.




Murdock's Diary written by Face


Great, what more could go wrong today? My best friend has been turned into a falcon by my date, and Hannibal is looking at me as if I grew another head or something.


"Now, let me get this straight, Lieutenant. Your date changed Murdock into a falcon?"


"Yes," I replied.


Hannibal shook his head. "What kind of falcon?"


I shook my head. "How do I know? Birds look the same to me. A falcon, the kind they used for hunting."


Hannibal gave me a look. Boy, do I hate that look. He looked up and smiled at me.


"Is he a brown falcon with blue on top of his head?"


"Yeah," I replied. "How did you know?"


Hannibal points up to a tree. Murdock was perched on the branch.


"Murdock, get down here. That an order, captain."


I watched as Murdock swooped down and landed on Hannibal's gloved hand.


"How did you do that?" I asked.


He just smiled at me. "I gave him an order, and he obeyed it."


He then walks away with Murdock, and I followed. We came up to the van where BA was protesting, as usual.


"You are not putting that bird in my ride, Hannibal."


"It's not a bird," I replied, as I climbed into the van, "It's Murdock."


Both me and Hannibal laughed as Murdock nipped BA on the nose. BA just looked and rubbed his nose.


"Hannibal," I said, "we've got to find my date."




Joxer's Scroll


Well, I found the cave but there is no way in. It's been sealed off. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I can think of.


"Aphrodite! Where are you? I want to go home!"


Suddenly a pink glow appears and there stands the Goddess of Love right in front of me.


"You don't need to shout studmuffin. I can hear, you know."


I pointed to the cave. "The entrance is closed. I can't get in."


She just smiled. "Is that all? No worries." She stood back and waved her arm. I expected something to happen, the cave open up, or something, but it didn't.


"What's wrong?" I asked.


She look confused. "I don't know. That should have worked."


We both suddenly hear a laugh, and turned to see Ares. "Oh, Dite, you crack me up. You can't open that cave to send Joxer home until you fix things."


"Fix things? What things?"


Aries was still laughing. "You've got to turn Murdock back into a human."


"A human?" I replied. "But Murdock wanted to be a Thunderbird again."


Ares looked at me. "First of all, duff. Thunderbirds no longer exist, and Murdock was turned into a falcon not a thunderbird."


"But he told me about how he used to fly..."


Ares placed his hand on my shoulder. "He meant a jet."


I stared at him. "Don't be funny, Ares. Jett can't fly."


He stared back at me. "Not Jett. A jet."


I was more confused than ever. Suddenly, Ares clapped his hands together and Murdock and his friends appeared right in front of us.




Murdock's diary written by Face


We were no longer in California. I didn't even think we were in the United States anymore. There was my date, and a tall man dressed in leather he looked kind of mean. I started to greet her, but BA was really angry.


"Hey, sucka, did you turn my friend into this bird?"


My date did not like to be called a 'sucka,' not that I blamed her.


"Hey, don't called me names, or I am leaving."


Murdock's friend, Joxer, looked really scared. "Aphrodite, please don't go. He didn't mean any harm."


My date stared at BA. "If he says he's sorry, I'll stay."


Joxer looked at BA with hope. BA grumbled. Hannibal ordered BA to say he was sorry to my date. Which he did. Then my date turned my best friend back into a human.




Murdock's diary


Hey, I'm human again, but it was fun being a falcon for a day. Then my new friend and his friends seemed to want my attention.


"Murdock," Joxer said. He wasn't speaking French and yet I still understood him.


"How can I understand you? You aren't speaking French?"


Face's date smiled. "I'm doing it, cutie. It's so you all can understand each other before Joxer goes home."


I nodded my head.


"I can go home, Murdock. But I will never forget you. You have treated me like a friend when I really needed one,and for that I will always be grateful. Thank you."


My friends and I watch as the cave opened up.


He turned and walked into the cave. "Wait," I said ."At least let me walk you to the end."


He shook his head. "You can't, Murdock .This is a one way trip." He took off the baseball cap I gave him. "Here. I think this belongs to you."


I pushed his hand away. "Keep it .Something to remember me by."


"I wish I had something to give you, but that place I met you in took all of my stuff."


One of his friends smiled. "We can't have you returning without your stuff now can we."


Suddenly, my friend Joxer is dressed in a strange mix-up armor, but I liked it. He hands me something.


"This was my father's. I want you to have it. It's called a scabbard. You place a sword in it."


I shook my head. "I can't takes this Joxer. You may need it."


"No, I don't. I lost my sword."


"Look again, studmuffin."


We all looked and there, where it belonged, was his sword. He smiled.


"Good-bye, Murdock. I will never forget you."


I watched as he entered the cave and then vanished. I feel my friends around me. They will always be there, but I will miss my friend Joxer the Mighty.




Joxer's scroll


Well, that's my tale. I met another friend in a different place and time. I heard my Gabby calling me.


"Joxer, let's go. Xena is waiting."


I smiled, take off my helmet and placed Murdock's... what did he call it? Oh, yeah a baseball cap. Whatever baseball is.


"Coming Gabrielle."



The End


H.M. Murdock Meets Joxer the Mighty by Susie Owens



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