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Torturing The Faceman

Torturing The Faceman
by Georgia Bentz (Murdockian)


Rating: PG for best guess.
Summary: How does one writer mess with the mind of the most notorious conman ever? In his dreams of course! A personal challenge From Cap'n Marina to me.
Hope you all enjoy. I'll try and come up with a better title then this but that's all that came to my mind. :D
Warning: None. Just a little bit of dreams for Face.


Onto the story......

Part 1


It was a dark night and Templeton Peck was sound asleep. His dreams were all about women and the fun he was having with them. Right now he was dreaming about his latest fling. Julia Reynolds. Her long curly hair shone and her eyes ALWAYS sparkled....But wait! This isn't the dream the Author has intended for him. Oh noooo way....

Suddenly he was floating and his body was dropped into the van. They were speeding along just out of the reach of some goons. Murdock was in the back of the van shooting with all his might. Hannibal saw him and grinned.

"Well! Welcome back to the land of the living Sleeping Beauty. Didn't think you'd make it when Robertson and his goons caught you."

Face looked around and then looked at Murdock and Hannibal. He didn't understand how one minute he was sleeping in bed and then the next minute he was in the van.

"What the? How'd I get here? I'm supposed to be in bed away from you guys!"

Murdock ambled back to his regular seat and grinned over at Face. But frowned at Face's remark then spoke.

"That ain't nice. Ya know we love ya. An' 'sides I was worri'd 'bout'cha. We all was."

Deciding not to argue any further he settled back into the chair and held on for dear life. He was hurt? He looked at himself and found a gun shot wound near his shoulder. He shook his head. Very bizarre.

Suddenly out of nowhere a gunshot went off and they careened into a ditch. Murdock was flung towards Hannibal and they conked heads. Then they were both flung backwards. Both were sideways on the ground. Fortunately once in the ditch the goons left them alone and BA was able to fix the tire.

They drove on and Face helped Murdock back into his seat while BA helped Hannibal back into his seat. Murdock stirred and was the first to wake. His brown eyes were glittering like they were on the jazz. He turned to Face and asked a question.

"Hey Face? You got a cigar on you? I seem to be all out."

Face glanced at him. And spoke as well.

"You don't smoke. And don't smile like that you're giving me the creeps."

Murdock returned the reply with a reply of his own.

"I do too smoke. Now hand me a cigar."

He held out his hand expectantly and Face reluctantly gave him a cigar. BA turned around and with a growl spoke.

"Stupid Foo' shut up an' put out tha' cigar. Give it back ta Hann'bal."

Murdock didn't say a word just kept puffing on it and giving BA sly smiles. BA growled some more but didn't press it for once.


Just then Hannibal awoke. He touched his head and glanced at BA.

"Hey BA? What am I doing in the front seat? Aren't I supposed to be behind ya pestering you? After all I am insane...."

Hannibal's voice trailed off as he caught a look at Face's confused face.

"Yo! What's wrong Facey Face? Lose your bestest buddy? Well never fear your bestest buddy's here!"

Murdock spoke too around the cigar.

"Yeah Face what's wrong?"

Before Face could answer sirens sounded in the distance and BA sped up to get out their way.


Part 2

 

Murdock spoke up again.

"Turn left up here BA. I know where to go to hide out from the MP's."

BA shook his head. Murdock was beginning to sound like Hannibal and he didn't like it at all. So he started talking again.

"I said shuddup Foo'! We gotta lissen ta what Hann'bal's sayin'!"

He turned to 'Hannibal' and waited for his words of wisdom. Hannibal just looked really confused. He looked at the back and suddenly he and Murdock's eyes locked gazes. Their mouths formed round 'O's and they shook their heads.

Hannibal was the first to speak. It came out controlled like he was practicing a foreign language or his tongue wasn't working right.

"Listen to M-Murdock Big...er I mean BA. And don't look at me for advice for a while. Just let him take us somewhere safe."

BA grumbled and spoke.

"Takin' orders fromma foo'. Didn' think I'd evah see th' day when dat happen'd."

Murdock on the other hand was enjoying this. He turned to Face gauging the lieutenant's reaction. Face however had his own question.

"What in the world is going on here? One minute you and Murdock are out cold the next... Well the next we're taking orders from Murdock? Why Hannibal?"

Before Hannibal could answer Murdock spoke. His eyes still glittering and he was still gauging what Face's reaction would be.

"Well it's like this Lieutenant, seems Murdock and I have traded bodies. I'm me but all you see is Murdock. He's me and all you see is Hannibal. Are you getting this?"

Face and BA exchanged puzzled looks through the rearview mirror. BA spoke again.

"I don' believe it. Hann'bal tell that crazy foo' that he ain't you!"

'Hannibal' shook his head and spoke.

"Afraid he's right big guy. I'm in fact the colonel but ain't him."

'Hannibal' broke off into a howl and settled back into the front passenger's seat. He looked over at 'Murdock' and spoke again.

"Hey Colonel? Give a guy his cap? I'm feeling strange without it. And where's Billy?"

'Murdock' tossed 'Hannibal' the cap and he gave him a piece of air too. 'Hannibal' sighed contentedly and soon 'Murdock' spoke again from the backseat. And gave directions to BA. Once there they found it was a sprawling ranch. A bed and breakfast. They got two rooms and were soon settled down. BA with 'Murdock' and Face with 'Hannibal'. 'Hannibal' was full of energy and was driving Face up the wall.

Face spoke.

"If you don't quit bouncing around like that I'm calling the VA. This is unnerving watching you in Hannibal's body bouncing off the walls. Hell it's unnerving watching you even bouncing off the walls in your own body. Can't you act sane for once?"

'Hannibal' guffawed and shook his head.

"If I have to act sane I'll get pent up anxieties. 'Sides the Colonel did say that we don't have any jobs lined up. We're safe here Facey. Don't worry."

Face groaned.

"Well I am worried. And don't call me Facey. At least call me Lieutenant. Hannibal never calls me Facey and right now you're Hannibal...."

His voice trailed off as 'Hannibal' got a wicked gleam in his eyes. Then he opened his mouth as if he was going to sing. Face stopped him with a hand to his mouth.

"No! No singing. No Dancing. And No calling me Facey!"

Meanwhile BA had his hands full with a calculating Murdock/Hannibal. It was unnerving seeing 'Murdock' practically chain smoke in front of him. BA growled in 'Murdock's direction. He couldn't take it anymore and started speaking.

"Murd...I mean Hann'bal whoever you is. Quit smokin'. Leas' take it outside? Ya gonna make yaself sick."

'Murdock' did as he was told and started smoking on the porch. Where he met 'Hannibal'. 'Hannibal' looked happy but not as happy. They started to speak but were interrupted as sirens again sounded in the distance. This was going to be one of those weeks.

 

 

Part 3

 

The four jumped back into the van. All in their seats. Except 'Hannibal' jumped into the seat behind BA and 'Murdock' sat up front right beside BA. Murdock spoke first.

"Okay we need to get out of LA and lay low for a while. Robertson's still a problem. But we'll take care of him shortly. Face get us a plane. And get me a new cigar?"

Face nodded and started figuring how much it'd be a risk if he brought 'Hannibal' along. Automatically he fished out a cigar from his pocket and handed it to 'Murdock'. Just then 'Hannibal' spoke up.

"What about me? Do I get to go with Facey? Can I be a blue collar man? Oh please tell me I do?!"

'Murdock' smiled indulgently at 'Hannibal'. Then spoke.

"Sure. Why not? After all he does need a good scamming partner."

Face suffered a long suffering sigh and was just about to protest.

"But it'll look suspicious if I scam with him. Uh no offense Murdock/Hannibal whoever you are."

'Hannibal' answered glibly.

"None taken. But I still wanna go. Can I be your grandpa?"

Face scowled. And shook his head.

"No! You cannot be my grandpa! Oh please help me!"

'Murdock' only chuckled and puffed on the cigar. He grinned around it and turned back to Face.

"You'd better take him. Or you'll never get any peace and quiet."

Face groaned and nodded.

"Fine! Fine! I'll take him. Why am I being punished? Why God why?"

He raised his head to the heavens and prayed. Finally he got together a scheme. 'Murdock' spoke.

"Get a good one Face. Nothing that crashes."

At that moment BA chose to speak up.

"I ain't flyin' wit' none'a ya suckas. I don' ev'n know which crazy foo's flyin'. I Ain't Goin'."

He bellowed and pushed the brakes on the van down really really hard. 'Hannibal' spoke up just then. Grinning as big as ever.

"Oh I hope you don't mind being left here then. Especially when Decker comes lookin' for ya. You could write and tell us how prison food tastes."

BA growled and his eyes narrowed. Nobody was going to throw him into prison but he still didn't want to fly. That's when 'Murdock' spoke up.

"Oh you don't have to fly Sergeant. We're renting a boat for you. Aren't we fellas?"

Both men in the back nodded furiously. And soon 'Murdock' pulled out a needle and handed it to Face. Face grimaced he hated doing 'the honors'. So while his team mates kept BA occupied the needle went into the shoulder and BA was out. Head conking out on the horn.

Face groaned.

"Every single time! He lands on the Horn! Why?"

'Murdock' shrugged and stopped the van with his own two feet. He parked on the side of the road and settled BA down in the bucket seat behind the two passenger seats. Soon they were at the airport.

 

 

Part 4

***Rating: part rated PG-13 for mention of Strip Poker between straight men.
Now onto the story......***

While 'Murdock' found a parking space, Face and 'Hannibal' went scamming. Finally finding a place to park, he pulled out a newspaper and started to read. Hoping that BA wouldn't wake up. Soon they came back. 'Hannibal' very chipper and Face sullen.

"Aww man! That was THE awesomest scam in the world! Had that lady eating out of your hand. Now we gotta private jet and I can fly! Tell me how ya do it Facey?"

Face scowled in the other man's direction and hissed towards him.

"How many times have I told you NOT to call me Facey? Hmmm? It feels funny when you do that! Now get in the van and let's tell Murdock/Hannibal whoever he is that we've got a plane."

'Hannibal' nodded excitedly and jumped inside. His feet barely landing on the ground. He literally crowed and tapped 'Murdock' on the shoulder. Causing the other man to drop the paper and look expectantly at Face and 'Hannibal'. 'Murdock' had a serious expression on his face and spoke.

"Well? What happened? Did you get a small plane?"

Again Face scowled but he nodded yes too.

"Yes. But no thanks to Hannibal/Murdock over there. He kept giving the lady behind the desk monkey faces. All she did was laugh. I didn't even get her phone number or ask her out on a date."

'Murdock' nodded but didn't say a word about Face's date or lack thereof.

"Okay then let's get into it and fly away from here. At least for a while. While I think up a plan to get back to my own body and Murdock can get back to his. Agreed?"

Both men nodded and soon they were high in the sky. 'Hannibal' in the pilot's seat and 'Murdock' in the co-pilot's seat. 'Hannibal' howled at takeoff and soon they were passing other clouds. Face sat back into his seat and thought that it wouldn't be so bad. That is until a few hours later when he'd thought he'd gone to sleep (Again?).

He heard 'Murdock's voice as something and he inched closer to the pilot's area to see what was causing the commotion. He heard 'Murdock's voice again.

"Well did you check to see if she had enough gas?"

'Hannibal's voice sounded just then. "Yup and the brakes are in working tip-top shape."

'Murdock's voice again.

"Then what's wrong?"

'Hannibal's voice once more.

"I-I dunno. Somethin's busted we're about to lose our first engine. Oh c'mon fellas don't do this to me..."

Face couldn't stand it anymore and crossed into the pilot's area. Squatting down between the two chairs. He spoke.

"Now what?"

Two pairs of eyes looked at him for a split second. And 'Hannibal's voice came out.

"Nothin' to worry about Faceman. We'll be clear of these mountains in no time."

Face was incredulous.

"What happens if we're not clear of these mountains?"

'Hannibal' became serious and spoke.

"Probably gonna crash. Crash and die."

Face fumed.

"You're kidding right?"

'Hannibal' answered.

"Pilots never kid Muchacho. Be prepared for a crash when I say so...."

Just as he was about to pull up the sheer face of a mountain came nearer and nearer and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't pull up. Just then 'Murdock's eyes glazed over and he seemed to come out of whatever he was in. He didn't say a word. Just took the controls from Hannibal.

But he couldn't pull up either. And as they loomed closer and closer towards the rock Face ducked and prepared himself for a crash....


Conclusion now:

Just then he sat straight up in his bed. He was all sweaty. He hated being sweaty. He checked the clock by his bed and it read five am. He couldn't go back to sleep for fear he'd know the outcome of the dream, and so he decided on a shower. Just then the phone rang. He hesitantly answered it.

"Hello?"

Hannibal's voice came over the phone slightly slurred.

"Hey Face *hiccup* Just calling about check-in. You're late." *Hiccup.*

Face groaned. He knew he was late but he'd done it on purpose. He instead asked a question.

"Hannibal? Why are your words slurred? And what's with the hiccuping?"

Hannibal's voice reached through the phone and Face caught a hint of a smirk in it. As Hannibal replied,

"Ya know I was wondering about that myself. Then I remembered. Murdock and I got drunk and decided to play Strip Poker. Whoever lost had to wear the others' clothes for a night. Guess I lost. Cause when I woke up Murdock was on the couch asleep and snoring and I was on the floor with ALL his clothes on." *Hiccup.*

Hannibal continued. "Now you get dressed and come over to my place. I should be sober by then, and then I want a full report. Got it Lieutenant?"

Face gulped and scratched his head. His head swimming with alot of things that had happened.

"Full report sir?"

Hannibal sighed and answered.

"Yeah. A full report on Robertson. We're about to move in on him sometime today. Get your butt over here PDQ!"

Face told Hannibal he'd be down there and soon hung up the phone.

"Robertson? Well I'm sure the other parts were just a dream."

Little did he know that someone watched him and smirked. It was the dream fairy. She had wanted to torture Face and had successfully done so. Now she was off to find other hapless...er sleeping people. And as she flew off you could hear her speak.

"You'll never Know Templeton Face Peck. You'll Never Know!!!!"

And her evil laughter floated off into the distance....

BwahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!


The END

 


Torturing The Faceman by Georgia Bentz

 

 


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