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This page last viewed: 2017-10-17 and has been viewed 1522 times



by Nutty


Rated: G

Summary: Murdock has a few thoughts that he wanted to share.

Disclaimer: Nope don't own them, not making any money, this is strictly for fun.







How many of us want to be something we're not? How many of us are not what we seem? To everyone else I look human, but I'm not. I'm something else, I'm a killer. I have taken the lives of humans.


Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what happened to that younger man, how did he get here? If he'd done things just a little differently would he be like I am now? Would he be as crazy as me?


On the outside I look just like everyone else on this planet. Inside I'm different, I'm crazy and confused.


Once long ago I was fighting a war and now over ten years later that fight still goes on. Sure it's not in that place they called Vietnam but it's still a battle for freedom, my freedom and the freedom for my friends.


They tried to take away our lives for something we did not do. My friends were sentenced to prison by a military court. I was sent

here. My friends escaped but I did not. Every night I close my eyes and go to sleep in this prison. Want to hear something weird? I like it here.


Back then I was crazier than I am now, you'll never believe that if you meet me. I lost myself for a little while and I've never really found my way back home. I don't live in the same world as everyone else, I'm a killer and I'm insane.


I took away lives in Vietnam, I fought for my freedom only to be framed for a crime I did not commit, only to be locked up every night in a hospital for the insane. To be told I could not fly. Not being able to fly is like not being able to breathe, it's like someone took away a vital piece of me. It's like I did all that fighting for nothing.


Every day I get further and further from the person I used to be. It's frightening, what I might do, what I could do and what I have

done. I've seen things and done things that you would not want to experience in your worst nightmares. Without my friends I could not survive this torment.


They are the ones that bring me back to myself. Every time I feel myself going away I think that they might need me and I hang on with everything I've got. They get me out of here and let me fly and for a while it's good, for a while it all goes away and I feel as if I can cope with being crazy.


So, about these three guys who are my best friends, my brothers; my family. Well, there's Colonel John Smith but we all call him

Hannibal. I can't remember why now but there is a reason. He's good at making plans and when we go out on missions and help people he always comes up with something to save the day. He always goes along with my ideas and games.


Then there's Lieutenant Templeton Peck called Faceman or Face. He's the best con man I've ever met. He's the guy you can't say no to. There must be women all over the world who've had their hearts broken by that man. He just smiles and they're all over him. I wish I had his charm sometimes but then I think that I might not be crazy and that would be so much worse. Face is a true genius, if you want it Face can get it. He sometimes plays along with my games, especially when Billy's around.


Last but by no means least comes Sergeant Bosco Baracus. He goes by the name of BA which stands for Bad Attitude and believe me no-one is better suited to that name than him. He's one mean guy and he's usually yelling at me. He says he doesn't like my crazy jive. I can't think why, don't get me wrong, I love this guy, I love all of them, they're my family. But BA he just doesn't understand that sometimes a man has to be crazy and of course he doesn't like flying. I cannot understand how anyone can't like flying. It's the best thing in the world and I'm never as at ease as I am when I'm up in the air. But he won't even give it a try, we have to dope him every time we fly. Oh, yeah and he wears a lot of jewelry, I swear you can hear that guy coming towards you miles before he's anywhere near you. I'm a little intimidated by him sometimes, I think only Hannibal isn't scared by him. Really BA's just a big teddy bear at heart but he has to maintain the big guy image.


So are you wondering about me? Guess I should tell you something other than the fact that I'm a crazy non-human killer. My name is, hang on give me a minute; I know the answer to this one. Oh yeah, my name is Captain HM Murdock. HM stands for Howling Mad which is me to a capital T. I see stuff that isn't there, I talk to people who don't exist and if you've ever tried to have a conversation with me you'll know right away that I'm not on the same planet as you guys.


But all in all I enjoy being crazy, you should try it sometimes, it's a lot of fun and you get away with far more than you do as a sane person. You'll notice that I'm usually wearing a brown leather jacket with a tiger on the back and blue baseball cap. Don't try and take those things away from me because then I might have to get mad and you really don't want to experience that. There's a big difference between crazy and mad.


I have many friends not just the guys, I have a dog, and he's the best dog in the world. And, just like me, he's special, he's

invisible. He sleeps on my bed at night and is always there when I need him. He's my best non-human friend. His name is Billy.


Then there's the golf balls. Do you have any idea just what they have to go through? You do? Good then maybe you can help me do something about it, not many people are so aware of their sad plight as you and I. Maybe between us we can do something to help them. Someone has to be their friend, they've got no-one else.


I had a friend called Bogie Bear but he passed on a while back. He was helping me out in a fight for justice when some idiot blew his head off. Literally, can you imagine that? He was just a teddy bear, couldn't really look after himself and I took it upon myself to become his guardian. I failed in that one, he lost his life fighting for the cause and let me tell you it's a good cause. Bogie, I will

remember you fondly.


And Herman, he was my pet roach but he moved on and found a new life somewhere else. Narrowly escaped from a potato salad. Nearly got squashed by a giant shoe! He escaped though. He doesn't write that often but sometimes he'll call and we'll have a chat. He's livin' it up in Hawaii right now with his lady roach Harmona, they have three little baby roaches call Murdock (yep, after me, I'm godfather), Herman Junior and Harmony. Glad to know that one of my friends is doing all right.


Excuse me I just have to feed Billy, I'll be right back.


Right, sorry about that. So, by now you're probably wondering why I'm telling you this, good question. Shows you're actually paying attention to me, more people could follow your example. Well, to tell you the truth I don't really know guess I just wanted someone to talk to. It gets lonely in here sometimes, `specially at nights.


I suppose the main reason is that I wanted to tell you about the greatest men that ever lived, I wanted to tell you the story of the A-Team. You probably know how it goes: in 1972 four men were sent to prison for crime they did not commit and all that. Well I just thought you should know more about us in case you're getting the wrong idea about us four. We're not what they made us out to be, we were framed.


You know I said I was a killer, well I think it pays to be honest right from the start. I am, I have killed other human beings and I

regret it but it was my life back then. It was what I did, I was and still am a soldier and I was fighting a war. A lot of people die in

a war and even the ones that make it back can die inside no matter if they survived the event or not. I just need to set the record

straight, if you're not prepared to listen to that then fine I'm not gonna care, you're probably like BA and don't want to listen to my

crazy rap but either way it's your choice.


So they said we robbed that bank, no way, they got that one wrong. We didn't do it and whatever else they say we did we didn't do that either. We were framed. F.R.A.M.E.D. Framed. We're the innocent victims here and that's why we do what we do. We're Soldiers of Fortune now and we help those who need our help and we've done a lot of helping in the last ten years. It's been fun and scary and great all at the same time. You should see Hannibal when he gets on the jazz, sometimes he's crazier than me and that is crazy. We are doing real good here and they want to stop us.


Personally, I like it like this, I like living in the VA. They declared me sane a while ago, it was a mistake I hasten to add. My

doctor was the one who was crazy, he had some weird idea that I was normal. God, I hope that never happens because crazy is a part of me now. I mean if I was sane I'd lose all of my friends, not to mention missing out on my therapy sessions, I've really learned a lot about myself from that. Mostly that my craziness has no limits but there's been other stuff too. And you know the best thing in the world to me is seeing the look on the guy's face's when I'm acting crazy. They're either scared or smiling and I like both. Especially making them smile, that's important, someone has to do something to lighten the mood when the going gets tough.


Plus, getting busted out of the VA every couple of weeks makes for an interesting life. I need some variety and there are some great looking women out there. Sorry got sidetracked, one of the nurses walked past. I know, I should wipe this grin off my face but hey, I'm crazy give me a break.


Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, thanks, we've been in some real tight spots but each time one of us will come through for the others. We are one big family, we fight like crazy sometimes but we care about each other and we can count on each other. Even now I know that I could pick up the phone dial anyone of their numbers and talk to them if something was bothering me. We've been through a lot together and I guess what I want to say is don't judge us too harshly because of what you've been told. The people who've said all that stuff about us don't know us. They don't know what we are and what we're capable of. I may be crazy but even I can see that the three men who's hands I put my life in each and every day are very special. They should have medals but they can't because society deems them to be criminals. And society deems me unfit to be a part of it. Society doesn't know how lucky it is. They've got four guys looking out for them when no one else will.


We do a lot and we get hardly any thanks but that doesn't bother us. We don't just do it because we have to but because we want to. Because we enjoy getting out there and fighting the way it should be, our turf, our rules. We're a unit, part of a team and we can't function without each other. This is why we do it, because of the jazz and because we want to help people the way we couldn't be helped.


I'm crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way but even I get tired of it sometimes. Most times I just enjoy it, I enjoy Hannibal and

his plans that always come together, I enjoy Face and his cons and I even enjoy BA and his yelling. Most of all I enjoy being part of a family and I know that if I traveled to the ends of the earth and back I would never find a group of guys who care about me as much as these three do.


This is what I wanted to say and what I want to say to them but never can. I mean come on I may be crazy but I'm still a guy and you know us men, never can let our true feelings show. Just know that we didn't do anything wrong and that we're not bad guys. We've just had a bad break. Remember that and don't judge us because of what they told you about us.


We're out there, Hannibal loving it when a plan comes together, Face scamming like crazy, me being crazy and BA acting all mean. We're fighting the good fight, we are the A-Team. We're all different and yet we're all the same.


They're the ones that keep me human. They're special. I just wanted to tell you how special they are and let you know that they aren't the bad guys in this. So, I'm gonna go now because you're probably sick of all the crazy rap and I'm getting kinda tired. Maybe Face'll come by tomorrow and bust me out of here for another wacky mission. Night.


Ps. Don't let the purple wobblies get you.


PPs. Billy says night too.


PPPs. Drop in and see me again sometime.


PPPPs. Crazy is good, be crazy; don't fight it.


PPPPs. Long live the Golf Ball!


PPPPPPs. Goodnight.




Human by Nutty



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