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This page last viewed: 2017-10-17 and has been viewed 4063 times
Summary: During a mission, Murdock finds himself naked with Face in the cold winter. Realisations and trouble ensues...
Warnings: Slash, Rape (m/m, m/f), violence, mental torture, bad language, EVIL in general
Pairing: No real pairing... in some way, F/M
Disclaimer: Wakes up from dream world and realizes: they're not mine! Damn RL!
Author's note: POV writing: At the beginning of a part, you have a name. The name indicates whose eyes you see events through. Betas: My wonderful betas who also happen to be two magnificent authors, Chiller (Speedy sweetie) and Maestro (little chief). I have to thank them for bearing with me (and my evil self) because they are fabulous! And patient... and fast! I won the lottery big time with them! (And you better both feel flattered! heheheh) What else? Well there's the whole EVIL thing I should mention... Do not read if you are easily disturbed!!!
Comments: Please... infinitely appreciated
Part one (Face)
"F... f... face... c... cold...
- I know I know... You'll be warm soon, I promise.
Just 'kay. Not okay just 'kay. I can't help but think of how cute it is. I start to laugh; soon it becomes hysterical. My best friend is
almost comatose and I'm thinking of how cute he sounds. Calm down; calm down... need to... calm down. Amazing, I haven't even stopped moving during a mini-anxiety attack. My automatic mode works real good.
I can't believe I let them take him. Oh God! This is all my fault! What am I going to do? I can't remember the dos and don'ts of
He stopped shivering about ten minutes ago. I have to get him to shelter now! And he's going to be all right. He's going to be fine... he's always fine.
He has to be.
Keeping moving is good. Positive thoughts would do good too but I don't think I can manage them. Not with an almost unconscious Murdock and baddies after our hides.
- "Fffffaccccccce... I don't fffeel ssso good.
- You'll be okay, hear me? You do not lose consciousness unless I tell you to, okay?"
I'm shaking but I don't think it's all from the cold, even if it is awfully cold here.
I'm almost glad they decided to shower him and leave him naked in the middle of winter. They could have shot him. I couldn't have handled that. As it is, I can still save him.
God I hope I can. I haven't done such a good job of it. Letting him go in the first place then losing the kidnappers on the way here.
He managed to escape them but it was sheer luck that I found him after I called Hannibal. The bad guys could've taken him back. Stop that line of thought, they didn't find him, and he'll be fine... see he's still conscious... no... don't... no!
- "No Murdock! Stay with me here! Come on! Wake up! Talk to me.
Say something cheerfully annoying! Anything! No no no you don't
get to do that! I haven't told you to lose consciousness yet!"
I slap him a bit. Damn, he's so cold. It's like he's already dead. But he isn't... he isn't... he's alive, but damn it! Wake up and prove it! I slap him again, harder this time.
I breathe a huge sigh of relief.
- "Talk to me, tell me again what those guys said."
God I'm such an idiot! He's just escaped their clutches and I ask him about it. Smooth, real smooth. If it keeps him talking though...
- "Thhhhey'rre a bunchhhhhh offfff idiotssss thhhhhey sssaid... Thhhhhey'd ffffffind nnnn' killllll mmmmy partnerrrrr... you're nnnot gonnnnnna lllllet thhhhemmmm killllll you are you? Nnnno offfffff courssssse not. Sssssso thhhhey deccccided I neeeeeeded tooo coolllll downnnnn"
That's good; keep talking, I'll keep moving. Damn it all to hell! Where is that stupid cave! Where are BA and Hannibal for that matter? The knot in the pit of my stomach gets bigger... didn't think that was possible. I hope they're okay but I've got no time to
worry about them.
Come on give me a sign here!
Part two (Hannibal)
Where the hell are they? It's not often that one of my plans goes as bad as this.
I sent Face and Murdock to collect information on that bastard, Davidson. An hour later, I get a radio call from Face. The scam went sour. They had Murdock. Kid gave us a new rendezvous point where he'd lost Davidson's men.
I was worried, yes, but not overly so. After all, Murdock is one of the best escape artists I know. So I told Face we'd go in after
twenty minutes or so, if Murdock hadn't found his way out yet.
As we were on our way, I started to get concerned. It could be bad since Murdock hadn't escaped yet, especially considering the nature of our job. And Face wasn't answering radio calls. I started multiple schemes in my head, just in case.
Then Decker appeared on our tail. Not unexpected but the man has a horrible sense of timing.
And off we were. We exchanged gunshots until for the first time in years it seems, bad luck caught up with us. Decker managed to shoot a tire of the van and it went skidding.
We "landed" with a tree impaling the side of the van. I'm never unprepared but I have to admit that this was a little too close for
my taste. We broke into a run towards the woods, barely missed by bullets. We hid and waited for Decker to get pissed and out of his car after us. Then we went back and stole his car. Nice huh?
Unfortunately, it wouldn't have done to stay an' see his expression even though I had a furious urge to. With all this we arrived late, to find both my men missing.
I love BA's threats. They're always so refreshing! When we got to where Murdock had first been taken, we got answers in ten seconds flat. Suffice it to say, I was more than concerned... I was angry and very, very worried. The bastards had brought Murdock to the HQ, thought it funny to see how long it would take for him to spill his guts if they left him in the cold winter, after having been showered and stripped to help the process. Apparently, Murdock eluded them and they'd lost him.
Now we can't find him or Face anywhere. We've searched the whole area and found nothing. Though playing hide and seek with Davidson's men does not help matters.
BA's worried, I can see it. He's tensing up, he needs something else to do other than just walk around. Plus, we should have found them by now or a trace of their passing. Time for a change of plan! I feel the familiar buzz filling my veins. Ah! The jazz!
- I want you to try to modify our radio to catch theirs, see if we can detect it. Maybe we can locate them from here even if their
radio is out. I am going to pay the pursuers a visit.
- That's a crazy plan man. They'll get you too!
- No they won't."
How is it that when you're searching for something, it's the hardest thing to find but when you're not looking, it comes and finds you? It takes me about 10 minutes to find the bad guys when they were on our tails every two minutes.
Two men, one car, a radio... I need something, a weapon... an old branch? It'll have to do. I approach slowly leaning on the branch giving the impression that I'm not dangerous. They come closer, unsuspecting... this is almost too easy. As soon as they're close enough, I swing my improvised bat at the first one's head. Out of business. The second one tries to tackle me but it doesn't take me long to send him join his pal with a couple of well-placed punches. Thank god for the element of surprise! Okay, radio... ah here!
- "Sir! We found traces of the target." A voice crackles through.
Are those guys for real? An unprotected channel for important info! Talk about idiots. Now tell me where.
- "What's your position son?
- Uh... 10 km north of you sir"
That is not very helpful.
- "We'll be there in five. Other teams, joins us."
I need a map. There, in the car.
If I were their commander, I'd kill myself. Can they be any more stupid? They've marked the HQ.
So ten kilometres north... about 2 minutes from our position. Not a good time margin. We better get going.
Damn it's cold.
Part 3 (Face)
Finally found that cave. Murdock is out for the count. He has my jacket on but that's all I could give him.
I can't hear his heartbeat. No! Remember, he's just unconscious, not dead... not dead. I lay him down on the driest place I can find. The rocks are so cold... as cold as him.
Okay Face, concentrate, think! What do you do with a very hypothermic patient who just happens to be your best friend whose death you couldn't survive? Why didn't I listen to Hannibal's lessons! It makes sense to try to warm him. I can do that, warming, easy...
I undress as fast as I can. Then I lie down with him on top of me, I'm trying hard not to let any part of him untouched. He feels so
cold but now I hear his heartbeat. It's slow, too slow. I put my clothes on top of him.
This is awkward, trying to move with him on top of me. But it feels good.
I can't decide what feels colder, the floor of the cave or him.
Let him be okay. Just let him be okay! I can't think of losing him right now. I can't.
I'm cold now, really cold. All I can think of is him. Murdock. He has to survive. He has to. He can't leave me. Who'll help me out
with my scams? Who'll put up with the real me? Who'll actually seek the real me? Who'll be there when I need someone close to me, when I'm vulnerable and who I can trust not to hurt me? Who if he dies?
He's a part of me; I can't lose a part of myself. It's happened too much already. One more piece, a vital piece (Murdock), and more of me will be gone than what'll be left.
I'm chilled to the bone now, but I feel better for it. If he goes, I go.
That's when I feel it. It's such an insignificant thing but I never thought I could move so fast. I feel an eyelash brushing my shoulder where his head rests. I shift so rapidly it makes my freezing body cringe.
I look upon the most beautiful sight I can imagine: a pair of big unfocused brown soulful eyes. I know I have the biggest, stupidest
grin on my face but I can't help it. I feel like the world has just been lifted off my shoulders by the opened eyes and the tired smile I get.
I just do the thing that makes the most sense to me at the moment; I plant my lips on his. Mmmm... tastes good.
Am I crazy or something? I break the kiss. He's looking up at me, shocked and confused I think but too out of it. Then I hear:
- "Face! Murdock! You there?"
Part 4 (Hannibal)
It's been three hours since Face's call. To say that I'm worried right now would be the same as saying BA has a smooth temper. 3 minutes to get them in and out. Enough.
BA is restless. He moves really fast.
We arrive at the coordinates. Three men this time, they're standing still. Really, they must have had something removed from their
brains. What about perimeter check? Sentinel?
Could it be a trap? I don't think so. But even if it is, the risk is worth taking. I can always plan an escape!
I'm weighing the possibilities. Take them out; let them know we're here. Contour them; they'll never even know we were there...
There is no real choice is there?
Let's take them out! We'll tickle the lion! Then we are going to sting them, possibly with deadly poison. One way or another they have to pay for what they did to Murdock and the women. Better sooner than later no?
Damn! I lost 10 seconds with the reflection, I'm getting slow. Better get moving.
We approach on their flank. I give the signal to BA.
We make our approach slowly. The men are not noticing us.
I jump on the first one. He's surprised. Gives me the opportunity to take a swing at him. And the fight is on.
BA is really pissed off. He grabs the first one by the throat and hits his head on his knee. Ouch...
I have my own problem right now. This guy is good. He knows how to block hits. He's big too.
He throws a fast punch.
Ow! That hurts!
The guy tries to get me another time. Never twice pal. I duck and get him with an uppercut. He's dazed. I get a couple of blows in to finish him off.
BA's second guy just took a flight towards the nearest tree. He hits the tree headfirst. He doesn't get up. That has got to hurt.
We run towards the marks on the snow. Wonder why they didn't follow them? More stupidity?
There's only one clear set of tracks. I continue to follow the markings. They stop abruptly. I taught you two too well. I spot
something to my left, a darker area. Cave. Bingo.
My men better be alright. If not, some heads are going to roll and that is a promise.
- "Face! Murdock! You there?"
No answer. Now I'm seriously worried. Can't lose them, can't lose my kids.
I get inside. They're here! Murdock looks pretty dazed and they do look funny like that. Murdock on top of Face, both naked, covered with Face's clothes. Huh! I don't think they find the position comfy.
The kid did well. He listened to my first aid classes.
He looks strange though, embarrassed. Something happened. Something big.
Murdock isn't all there; I'm worried about permanent effects now.
- "Face, Murdock, you okay?
- I'm okay Colonel, I don't know about Murdock but at least he's awake
- I can see that. BA, give Murdock a hand. Let's go kid."
I grab Face while BA gently lifts Murdock off the floor. We take them outside, to Decker's car. Face feels cold but he's still
shivering. Murdock... I'm not so sure. We get them inside Decker's car. Still having fun with that one! I turn the heater to the maximum. As I start the car and get on the way, I hear:
- "Facccey, why did you kissssss me?"
Part 5 (BA)
Crazy fool! Getting himself all hurt! If he's dead, I'm going to kill him!
I gotta go faster. Can't let the fool die. He's my little brother. Infuriating annoying little brother but he's my friend, my family.
Then there's Face. He's got to be worried sick about Murdock but he won't let it show. And knowing him, he'll probably be in worse shape than Murdock.
Fool don't need no cuddling, Face always cuddles him, indulges his bouts... shouldn't do that. Crazy man don't need that!
Man's my little brother, my responsibility. I have to keep him safe. Each time he gets hurt it's even worse than with the others. Means I failed. I hate failure.
Hannibal's pissed off and on the jazz big time, keeps him from worrying too much I guess. He looks my way just before we get inside the cave. It's a look he doesn't like to show, it's doubt. He doesn't know if they'll be okay and that tears him apart. They're his kids as much as they're my brothers... as much as he's our father.
We get inside.
Man, I got me some real blackmail material. They're all huddled together, naked! Fool looks bad though. Faceman don't look too good either. Hannibal moves to help Face up. I start moving to help Murdock even before Hannibal tells me. They'll be okay now; we're together.
There's something different, Face looks all embarrassed and flushed. And when I bend to pick up Murdock, I see the fool looks baffled on top of his blue lips and ragged aspect. Murdock's never baffled, surprised, I've seen it, but baffled...
Something's going on. They all think I'm not perceptive but just 'cause I don't talk much, doesn't mean I don't know how to look. And this looks like trouble.
Fool weighs so little. He really does make me think of a child, an overgrown irritating child with too much brains and experience of bad stuff.
He's cold to the touch. I feel the relief of having found them alive dissipating. We gotta get him to a hospital, now. We get in the car; I put him down next to Face on the backseat as gently as I can, don't want him to get worst, want him to get fine!
I get in and Hannibal starts the car. Puts the heater full blast. Then Murdock's weak voice cuts through the engine noise:
- "Faccccey, Why did you kissssssss me?"
Hannibal's still driving, doesn't have time for them fool's jives. He heard though.
I turn to tell the fool to shut up and keep his strength. He still looks mostly out of it... don't look too good... where's that hospital already?
But what makes me really wonder is Face. He's shock-still. Not twitching a muscle. As if he'd just been slapped by his date.
Can't be... can it? Nah... Face is probably insulted or something.
Something doesn't sound right about that.
- "Murdock, I did not kiss you. It was all in your head probably."
Murdock's too out of it to notice Face's lying. I see it on his face. That in itself is worrying. Faceman lies like he breathes, must be about something important if I can see he is. Murdock says:
- "Iffffff you sssssay sssssso muchhhhhachhhhho."
That's what's wrong... Faceman did kiss the fool. He wouldn't be lying otherwise. But Face has to work everything out for himself. You just can't tell the man what to do. He'll just go and do the opposite.
Murdock was still slurring his words though. This is bad man, real bad.
We're at the city. Didn't even notice when we got in. Damned fools are making me sloppy. The car stops abruptly and we quickly get our friends inside the doctor's house. No hospital but it'll have to do.
Part 6 (Face)
Stupid stupid stupid!
How could I do that? Not only did I kiss him, I denied everything! He better be alright. I have to explain!
Explain what? That the most natural reaction to your best friend waking up is to kiss him? Sure I will!
What a mess! Doctor said I'd be okay. I don't care. I want to curl up and die of embarrassment. Why did I go and do something like that? Only reason why I'm staying is 'cause I want him to be alright! I need to make sure he is...
The doctor is coming out of the room. Hannibal looks calm as ever but anyone who knows him ever so slightly can tell you he's worried as hell. He's a mother hen, deep inside... hides it well too.
BA's scowling deeper than usual. His hands are tightened into fists. He's not in control; he hates not being able to do anything. I'm glad the doctor arrived. The waiting was killing him.
It's killing me too. I don't know if he'll be okay. I don't know!
- "Sirs, are you family?
- We are," says Hannibal. He's right, we are a family closer than most. "I'm his father."
I'm shaking so bad, Murdock is going to die... I know it now. It's my punishment for all my sins. I'm going to lose him. Oh God!
- "Mister Peck here suffers from frostbite but nothing that hasn't been taken care of with warming of the regions. I am more concerned with your son however. Luckily, such cases are quite frequent here so I have the sufficient equipment to provide the same treatment as a hospital. Luckily too, as I don't think your son would have survived so far if I didn't. I connected him to an EKG monitor and a blood pressure monitor. I also started normal saline hooked to a heater of course so the saline can be warm before it enters the body. Normal procedures in such cases. I am also running a warm peritoneal lavage. This consists of introducing a catheter in the abdominal cavity and running warm saline into them, then draining the fluids and starting again. Unfortunately, he has not been responding well to this treatment. He is not going to survive if I can't take more drastic measures
and for that I need the permission of the next of kin.
- You've been telling me all this while Murdock is dying?"
He really is going to die. So am I...
- "Calm down Mr... Murdock? The permission of the next of kin is vital to this operation
- You have it.
- This operation is called cardiopulmonary bypass or haemodialysis with a heat exchanger. I will basically run your son's blood out of his body, into a machine that will warm it and then pump it back into his body. I am going to need help with this procedure however. Could two of you give me a hand? Usually, family helps.
- BA and me will do it. Face, you rest."
I don't even protest at that. I'm without sensations. Can't talk, can't move, can't think.
Hannibal plants himself in front of me.
- "Kid! Get a hold of yourself, he needs you and he will be fine!"
I don't know how he does it but it gets through the fog in my brain. I settle myself down to wait.
It's been twenty minutes since they left. I use the time to reflect. It's uncommon for me to be introspective but I have to figure this out. For Murdock's sake...
I don't know what I feel. I wish I did. Worry is pretty much prominent. Fear, no, panic occupies a good place too. Then there's something else. Something I never felt before. Something I never knew existed. Something I felt for a long time but only just
noticed. And I don't know what it is. I'm guessing it must be love. But I don't know. I never loved before.
Leslie was infatuation, the realisation of my perfect life, a wife, kids, and white-picketed fence around the family house. I thought I loved Leslie. Seeing her so happy without me hurt. But I knew she wasn't essential to my being me or happy even, after I saw
Murdock is essential.
What does that tell you? I'm a fag. Oh God! Please forgive me! I think I'm in love with my best friend. The one sin I hadn't committed yet. Maybe that's why God fights so hard to take him from me.
He's more important than anything else I've ever known and if I have to live with this, I will.
God damn it! Where are they?
I have to find out. Have to tell Murdock how I feel, I can live with being a sinner, God knows I did before. But I can't live without Murdock this way. I can't.
I run through the door of the room where the rest of my team is. What I see freezes my blood more surely than the cold winter outside.
There are so many tubes sticking out of him. He looks dead. BA is beside him holding his hand with teary eyes. Hannibal is on the other side of the bed, shaking his head sadly.
Oh God no!
Part 7 (Hannibal)
What is this about a kiss?
I don't have time for this now but I will investigate later. Right now, I'm more concerned with finding a doctor. Anything with
medical supplies will do. I've seen hypothermia before, and this is bad.
I'm not mad. I'm pissed. I don't drive very carefully... I drive fast. I remember, there's a small town 5 km from here. That's the
I'm on autopilot, leaves my mind free to weigh advantages and problems with certain ways to kill the bastards who dared hurt my
I already know we'll finish this. That's all clear in my head. I know we can't kill them, we're not murderers. But I will take them
There's a small doctor's office. I feel a small relieved sigh escaping. It's not much but it's better than what we have.
I need my man to be alright! Face hasn't stopped being coherent so I have one less thing to consider... Kid'll be okay.
He looks off though, guilty and... scared. He doesn't let fear show usually. Must be bad. There's a link with the kiss thing. I know.
Murdock was just delirious wasn't he?
No. Something happened between those two and it's killing Face. I'll have to talk some sense into him... or I won't have to if Murdock doesn't make it.
Another reason why he has to make it!
Damn it! What is taking so long?
One of my men is unconscious in there, possibly dying, and I can't even be there with him!
*He will be okay.*
I know it's bad... severe hypothermia does not heal in a few minutes but we should have had news by now.
The doctor's coming out of the room. About fucking time!
He starts to explain the situation.
Say what? He's been singing serenade to us while Murdock is DYING! The little over confident bastard!
BA's pissed also but the kid looks even more down.
Don't want to throttle the doctor though, Murdock needs him to live... shame.
Doctor asks us to help moving Murdock's blood out of him and then back in. It's even worse than I thought.
Face is going into shock... he's not even breathing. I have to do something. I blurt out a short order. Orders always work with Face. Demands... rarely but orders, always.
I go in with BA.
Murdock looks bad. I haven't had a proper look at him till now. His lips are still blue, his skin ashen, and circles as if he hadn't
slept in over a month under his eyes. He's still... so still. Murdock is never still.
I can't help the thought but... he looks dead.
I need to reassure myself he's alive. I take his hand into mine, notice BA do the same with his other hand. Murdock would never
believe me if I told him he takes it like it's the most precious, fragile thing in the world.
He still feels cold. His pulse is slow... too slow. I let his hand go to turn towards the doc, question written on my face.
He nods. He seems nicer now. At least he's not an insensitive bastard enough to ask us for papers. Plus I think he finds the portrait of BA holding Murdock's hand endearing. So do I, but I'm still too worried to consider contemplation.
- I want you to help me move him first.
- No problem doc, where?
And so it begins. We start the procedure.
We've been at it for ten minutes, pumping the blood out, putting it back. The doc really doesn't seem such a bad guy. He explained every part of what he was doing as he was doing it, keeping our minds focused.
But I don't know. It has had no effect yet.
Doc springs into action, but he doesn't use CPR. Why? Why isn't he trying to revive him?
He shocks him without preamble.
Damn it! Come on Murdock come on!
Bip... bip... bip...
Thank heavens! This is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
We start the procedure again. You better wake up Murdock!
5 minutes and the Doc says there's improvement. We can stop he says.
We can? It means Murdock will be okay?
- "I don't know. There are many unknowns in such severe cases. I didn't start CPR because a frozen heart can be extremely
sensitive to compressions, I might have damaged it. But there is still the possibility of complete or partial memory loss. We'll have to wait until he wakes up. And that shouldn't be too long, once the procedure starts to work, it works fast, give it a couple of minutes and he'll wake up.
- Thank you doctor."
Nodding, he retreats to a corner of the room to file some papers. I feel like I can finally relax. A huge weight has been lifted. BA sits in the chair. Takes Murdock's hand again.
- "Hannibal! Fool moved!
I see dark eyes looking up at me and he says... his throat is no doubt sore since I can barely hear him:
- "Am I dead? Are you angels? Didn't think my angels would look like you guys."
BA is emotional but I can't blame him, so am I. I'm so damned... happy to hear him talk but I can't believe what his first words
are. Am I dead? Are you my angels? Do we really look like angels?
- "No captain you're not dead... welcome back."
Now I'm all teary. Damn... I'm getting old. But BA has tears in his eyes too. I softly shake my head as Murdock slips back into
Then Face stumbles in full speed...
Part 8 (BA)
Damned fool! Scaring us like that! Don't he know he can't die? He did die. He was dead. And now, he's asking if I'm an angel.
Damned fool! Getting me all emotional! He's okay now. He had better stay that way! Or I will hurt him bad.
I have tears in my eyes, won't let them fall. Mama said it was okay to cry but there's no more reason to. I'm trying to hide the
tears. Hannibal knows better.
I got his hand in mine. Totally limp.
Then Faceman comes through the door.
He's stock-still. His eyes are filled with shock, horror, fear, and many other things. Then his eyes roll in their sockets and his body
goes limp. Hannibal's there to catch him before he falls down and hits his head. He'd never let his kids fall if he can help it. S'just
the way he is.
Face must've thought the crazy man was dead. We weren't offering a brilliant picture either. He's as much of a fool as Murdock!
Jumping to conclusions like that. I get up and retrieve him from Hannibal. He weighs more than the fool even if he's shorter. I place him on a chair beside Murdock. He has to wake up and realize the crazy man's okay.
Hannibal gestures me to follow him outside. I take a last look at the two biggest fools I've ever seen and I follow him.
I hope Face sorts himself out. They need to take care of each other.
- "BA, we need to find the bastards.
- I know. What do you want me to do?
- I need you to take the map and visit our client, see if she remembers any useful information about the HQ. Then you'll come
back here and take watch. We don't need to go back to the other house, Murdock did all there was to do before they captured him. And now we know where their base is, thanks to uncanny stupidity. Face should be conscious by the time you get back. We'll make our move then.
- Okay Hannibal."
I take the map and go out the door. I'm reluctant to leave my two little brothers but Hannibal deserves the time with them. I know
they'll be fine. Fools are hard to kill. I know.
I'm clenching the steering wheel as I drive. I'm still angry. Anger is a familiar, reassuring feeling. I'm thinking about our case. No
one should have to go through what our client has.
Davidson is a dead man. The A-team will see to that. Not only for my little brothers but also for all the crimes he committed. Using your strength against a weaker opponent is wrong. And what he did to these women can't be forgiven in my eyes. Our client is one strong lady to have come to us. Now we'll make the bastard wish he was dead. I will personally remove his kneecaps and use them for earrings.
I'm there. I get out of the car to be greeted by the woman herself. Her name is Carol Sanders.
- "Mister Baracus? I hope nothing went wrong! You look awful! Do you want something to drink?
- Milk will be fine lil' mama. I got to ask you some questions."
We get in her house and while she's giving me a glass of milk, she says:
- "Go ahead...
- I got a map for you. I want to know if it looks like the place you escaped and what you can remember of it."
I show her the map. She stays silent for a minute. Can't blame her. Then her voice shaking, she says:
- "That looks like the forest I had to cross. You mean this is the place I... where I was prisoner, right? You... you have to
realize that this place..." she takes a deep breath... "It's horrible mister Baracus, they kept us in quarters where we were four or five to a bed then every once in a while, they came...
alright you don't have to tell me about it.
- You mean the rapes?"
I cringe a bit at the free use of the word. Woman went through hell, she shouldn't have to go back.
- "I'm sorry but that's what they were and I have to tell you so you realize the importance of this. The other women didn't talk,
only thing they said was that we were listened to. So the silence was all there was. Sometimes, in the night, I could hear someone crying. Or shouts and grunts of satisfaction. They kept us fit by making us walk inside some sort of opened area at night. The only time we smelled the outside world. Our world was reduced to obedience and suffering consequences. During a "session" most women got beaten and raped. It happened to every woman there. We took care of each other but no spoken bond was permitted. Sometimes, women just disappeared. Then one day, I... I just couldn't anymore. After... after a session, I took a lamp by the bedside and I knocked the bastard unconscious. Then I ran. I remember gunshots and a high fence. There was an opening in the fence. Small. That's how I got these."
She shows me scars on her left arm and back. By now, I am shaking with barely contained rage. The suckers are going to pay! I have flashes in my head of what I'd like to do to kill them but it all comes back to this, those animals should be castrated and eat the damn things!
- "As for security, there were 5 guards after me, I think it was all there was, but I outran them, I was a champion during my
college days you know?" Her voice is gaining strength, that's good lil' mama. "I don't remember anything else. I'm sorry.
- It's fine lil' mama it's very very good."
She's shaking now. I'm not good at showing what I feel but anger and right now, she doesn't need that. She's sobbing openly.
- It'll be okay, it'll be alright, we'll get them.
- Thank you.
I hug her a bit. She seems nervous but I'm glad she doesn't back off.
- We'll get them don't worry
I get out of her house. I take the first right into an alley.
Son of a bitch!
My fist is bloody but I feel better... relieved. Mama told me swearing wasn't nice but right now, I think it's okay.
I get on the way to the doc's office. More relaxed now but I'll feel even better when the fool harassed me some and when the creep Davidson is dead!
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