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Title: Factions of the VA Explained

Factions of the VA Explained
by Cabaret

Rating: PG
Summery: An update on the Virtual Asylum factions as of Feb 2002
Warning: Possible silliness and war starting! Most definite confusion (especially if you've never heard of the VA!)
Disclaimer: The A Team belong not to me or the VA, however the factions within are owned by the VA and lead by their respective leaders, and kept alive by their respective members.
Comments: Yes please!



(coming first cos I'm a devote Murdockian!)

A follower of the great Cpt. Howlin Mad Murdock

Will fight to splattation in his name

Mortal enemy of the Temps

Greatest achievement to date: Over running of the VA!

Insanity required!

Occasional Location: Any therapy session..... Actually the VA in general, c'mon
everyone has an inner Murdockian! (yes even you Temps!)

Queen of Murdockians - Jipster, enrolment not necessary, just prove yourself to
be a true decibel of the Murdock, and howl baby howl!

Weapon of choice, insanity and general not making any sense, also repetition!


A follower of (grits teeth, but being fair!) the great Lt. Templeton Peck, AKA
Face, Faceman, Face Guy, Facey, etc etc

Will fight to the point of hair being messed up and make up being removed in
his name…

Mortal enemy of the Murdockians and MCBA

Greatest achievement to date: Kidnapping of Jipster and attempting to turn her
into a Temp in their secret Temp Labs

Designer labels and insanity also required! (Well you'd have to be to follow
this one! Sorry, being fair, being fair… Well trying!)

Please note: Preening and pampering practice is rigorous and everlasting as it
Face worship and torture!

Please also note: Black Gem reserves the right to turn on her troops for
purposes of torture.

Please also note: to be a Temp you must be well attuned to the art of scamming
and underhanded tactics to get the job done!

Occasional Location: The Secret Facial Labs, located by way of navigating the
air ducts believed to be in the basement below the regular labs, or beside
them, a map has been painted to there in florescent dissappearing paint, care
of Kathleen (MCBA) You'll have to bypass Roady to get there but be warned, she
can get vicious if you don't ask permission to use the air ducts first!

Please see Black Gem, Head of Temps (until a better title is pinched) for

More info on the Temps: (Care of Bri)

Weapon of choice: Handbags and make up!


Sometimes split into the Hannibabes and Hannibuds

A follower of (stops gritting teeth as is getting annoying, but the thoughts
still there) the Great Col. John "Hannibal" Smith.

Will fight to explosive proportions and over planning to insanity in his name.

Mortal enemy of Decker and the Decker bugs… just as soon as they find his

Greatest Achievement to date: Planning a ruthless attack to retake the VA… Then
getting lost! Also The leader's, Adalia, assistation in the rescuing of Jipster
when she was kidnapped by the Temps, finding the secret facial labs and
pacifying the evil Temp secretary from heck, so she was ready for killing by

Also will blow up any other faction that happens along their path.

On upside though they will also occasionally join forces with any other faction
that takes their fancy….. Jazz and insanity required!

Occasional Location: Although the Hannipeeps don't seem to
have an official 'lair' of any sort, they do tend to congregate in Adalia's
back corner of the cafeteria for lack of anything better to do, it's also handy
for snackation.

Please see: Commander Adalia for enrolment.

More info on the Hannipeeps: (Care of Adalia)

Weapon of choice: Exploding pink bubble gum cigars, and anything that goes boom!


BA's Bad Ass Babes / Buds

A follower of (note: thought still present of teeth grittation) the Great Sgt.
Bosco "BA" Baracus.

Will fight to crazy foo'ness and angry mud suckaness in his name.

Mortal enemy of the Murdockians, MCBA, Temps, Hannipeeps and anyone else that
gets in their way!…..

Greatest achievement to date: Scaring all of the other factions by merely
standing in the hallway looking angry! (hey it worked!)

Excessive gold jewelry and insanity, though in denial, required!

Please Note: This is a highly top secret organisation as it is feared
throughout the VA, in fact to my knowledge only one member is known.

Occasional Location: These guys are impossible to find!!! Although you could
try the garage, or any hallway portal, as they usually crop up in the hall way
lookin scary and scaring everyone!

Please see Red Baracus for enrollment or pummelment, depending on her mood.


United A Team Front -

A follower of all four of the Great members of the A Team,

Standing for unity and fence building,

Will fight to all extremes of splattation and explosions in the name of their

Mortal enemy of the DUCKs and Tawnia and Frankie

Known friends of the MCBA, Temps, Hann… Well actually every faction! Apart from
the DUCKs and Decker Bugs.

Greatest achievement to date: Having a Tawnia roast and fighting the DUCKs.
Also a lot of fence building in and around the VA.

Warning: Joining this faction may lead to being tricked into delivering Taffy
bombs to the very factions you wish to unite.

Further Warning: Sometimes this faction gets quite frustrated, when the other
factions refuse to unite, when this happens please direct their attention to
the DUCKs or Decker Bugs, it soon peeps 'em up again!

Please note: You get a great welcome pack though, complete with business card
in the shape of the *Van*

Please also note: The roasts and high maintenance of this faction is pretty
darn good!

Insanity and an unwavering love of all our guys no matter what the consequences

Occasional Location: They have been known to congregate in the kitchens and
actually take them over! (It's for the roasts you see) They can also be found
sitting on any fence in the VA.

Please see Pamela for enrollment.

Weapon of choice: unity and love, and a cunning use of decoy bomb delivery and
Tawnia roasts.


Murdock's Crazy Barmy Army

Elite force of crack commando Murdockians

An enrolled follower of the great Cpt. Howlin Mad Murdock, and keepers of his
obsessions and friends

Will fight to beyond splattation and kidnapping in his name and their own

Mortal enemy of the Temps and DUCKs, Hannipeeps, BABABs, and anyone else that
gets in their way or attempts to take their meds away, but mostly the Temps and

Greatest achievement to date: Painting Face's 'Vette Plaid and turning Face
into Frankie, also beating the Temps into temporary disappearance. And rescuing
Jipster from the Temp's secret underground Lab.

Insanity, stealth, the ability to sing and see Billy and a complete lack of
fear or logic required

Please note: Marching Practice will be rigorous and everlasting, as will the
lack of sense.

Please also note: Rosebud, (the second in command) reserves the right to turn
on any MCBA member in favour of torturing, Cabaret (keeper of the marching
song) is also quite capable of this action although only by Rosebud's Command.

Trainers of stealth SEALs and the goldfish fleet, keepers at bay of the DUCKs

Warning: The MCBA are a force to be reckoned with, by way of they never shut up!

Occasional Location: MCBA - Barracks, location unknown, HQ, location also
unknown! Damn, it's hard to find these guys! At a guess I'd say 3 lefts 8
rights, down the stairs, through the tunnel, past the guard, a right 2 lefts,
up the escalator, backtrack 3 paces, walk om your hands to the trap door, 3
rights 7 ups, 2 lefts, then back track all previous steps, do a mad dash then
crash through the door! Usually found by following the Marching song, or any
posts screaming for the MCBA at the VA!

Goldfish - The rivers and lakes outside the VA, watching the trees, always
watching.... and the MCBA barracks for training.

Seals - There is an MCBA Ocean sized pool and pen, but in all honesty, who
knows? just avoid them!

Please see Commander Jipster for enrolment.

Please also see: MCBA come out to play by Cabaret archived at for further information, although please note, incomplete,
at present.

For more info: (Care of Jipster)

Weapon of Choice: Jelly Guns and other assorted pudding projectiles, insanity
and repetition.


Dastardly Uncontrollable Chaotic Kooks

A follower of the Great D Team, and all things chaotic

Will fight beyond chaos and punnation to rule the VA

Mortal enemy of the UATF, Goldfish, MCBA, Temps, Hannipeeps, BABABs and the
general VA population!

Keepers of the VA Quarantine keys. Friends of Tawnia

Please note: Master Mallard fears Goldfish crackers (the snack that smiles back
until you bite their heads off!), but will run away from the fish because of
their resemblance to the crackers! and orange sauce, but always have a
dastardly plan up their wings!

Warning: DUCKs reek havoc and extreme paranoia both in RL and at the VA!
(Please contact Cabaret for details of RL paranoia!)

Greatest achievement to date: Over running the Labs, wreaking the UATF's Tawnia
roast and setting her free within a volatile vortex in the Labs, and
practically bringing the whole VA to it's knees, although unsuccessful in the
later, they do keep trying. Also locking Cabaret and Pamela in quarantine.

Insanity and chaos, the ability to pun beyond the call of duty and avoid all
capture required, actually essential!

Occasional Location: Winter - Mexico, Summer - the trees outside the VA and if
they get in which they usually do, the VA halls, rooms cafeteria and Labs.
(They get everywhere.)

Please see Master Mallard, head of the D Team and DUCKs for enrolment.

Please also see: A Fowl Tale by Master Mallard archived at
for further DUCK details.

Weapon of choice: puns, chaos and Tawnia

The Congregation of A Slash

A follower of the Great A Slash Team

Will fight beyond the cause of weirder and wonderfuller coupling and the unity
of Murdock and Face.

Mortal enemy of no one actually, cept maybe when the Reverend starts preaching!

Greatest achievement to date: Some darn good fics, if it's your cup o tea, and
the harmony of being able to congregate on mass, pinching some Murdockians and
Temps and uniting them.

Warning: The sermons can go on for quite some time!

Insanity, devotion and lust required.

Occasional Location: In the VA place of worship of course!! (You'll have to
find that one on your own, just follow your ears....)

Please see the Rev. for enrolment

Weapon of choice: The unification of Murdock and Face and any other couple-able

Decker Bugs

A follower of all things Decker (even I won't go as far as saying he's Great… I
refuse!) and the capture of the Great A Team

Mortal enemy of everyone, but especially the Hannipeeps, the DUCKs don't care
much for him either!

Warning: This is an unknown quantity within the VA….. We know of no registered

Please note: Although the DUCKs, MCBA, Temps and Hannipeeps are usually on the
hit list, NOBODY likes the Decker Bugs!

Please note: We all think Decker has bad BO

Occasional location: Decker's office…. Somewhere in the VA

Greatest achievement to date: Nothing that we know of! Except maybe running the
Hannipeeps in circles when they tried to find them!

Please see Decker for enrolment…. If you can find him that is, and if you do
find him, don't enrol! Take him to the Hannipeeps!

Weapon of choice: An extremely silly low voice, and the inability to actually
capture anything!


Well I sure hope this cleared a few things up for you... or made things more
complicated, either way, it's a result!

Factions Of The VA Explained by Cabaret



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