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This page last viewed: 2017-10-20 and has been viewed 1381 times
Warnings: This is off the cuff, spelling mistakes will ensue! extreme silliness
and an over use of the words distressed and young man!
Summery: Hannibal scams Murdock outta the VA in classic drag! Billy Day challenge response.
Disclaimer: A Team not mine, never will be etc etc
Comments: would be adored!
"Billy get back here, Bi-lly! You're gonna ruin Hannibal's scam, Billy!"
Murdock hissed as he sat strapped in his straight jacket in his VA room.
Hannibal was picking him up, that's all Murdock knew, that and it would be
soon. Billy had fallen in love with one of the nurse's cats, she had brought
that damn cat in after a trip to the vets. That cat just played Billy for the
innocent mutt he was, soon after it's arrival, Billy was stealing milk out of
the fridge for it and bringing it flowers from the garden. It wasn't really his
fault, but honestly Murdock was beginning to wonder where the dog was coming
from. It had been a week now, the cat had only stayed for the length of the
nurses shift, but like the harlot it was, that cat had left a hole in poor
Billy's heart, he was pining all day and howling all night. Murdock was even
considering asking Face to have a word with Billy, those two really seemed to
relate, which also worried Murdock.
Well Hannibal still hadn't arrived, Murdock concluded that at least he should
have breakfast, after all he rarely had the chance to eat on missions.
"Hey how 'bout some breakfast in here?" He yelled.
"Are you gonna behave?" A nurse popped her head round the door, Murdock felt
like he'd just played into their hands.
"Madam, I always behave."
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow, who the hell was this? His mother? "What about
"They needed re-doing anyway."
"Well that's a matter of opinion."
"So you agree?"
"I'm not getting into this with you Mr. Murdock."
"Oh you can get into anything with me!" Lord! Now he was taking on Face, well
she was cute.
"What do you want for breakfast?" No she wasn't getting into anything with him
"Cheese omelet and chocolate cake please." Murdock grinned, he could have asked
for worse. She rolled her eyes and disappeared.
"I can't tell you how wonderful it'll be to see him again, I haven't seen him
since he was ten, oh he was already trying to fly then, jumping off trees and
the hay barn when he would visit for the summer, landed on his head a couple of
times. Oh nurse, you don't think that was the reason he..."
"No Mrs. Murdock, war has many casualties, your nephew was just one."
"Well he always was a bit of an odd boy, you know he tried to make a hot air
balloon outta trash bags, deck chairs and a hair dryer."
"That would explain a lot."
"Landed on his head that time too."
The door opened to a cringing Murdock.
"Mr. Murdock? This is your great aunt Agnes, she's come to visit you."
"Oh my boy! look how you've grown!" If there was any time Murdock wanted to run
away, it was now. A beaming Hannibal approached him in a ridiculous get up of
drag queen proportions.
"I don't know this woman." Murdock said through a grimace as he was kissed on
the cheek by his 'Great Aunt'.
"Oh now don't talk rot young man, I don't care what these fancy city doctor's
say, you will behave yourself." Hannibal was sporting the worse Texan accent
Murdock had ever heard. "And sit up straight, slouch like that and you stoop all
your life." He added. Murdock sighed and sat up straighter then straight. "And
no more of this back chat young man, have you forgot all your manners? Now give
your great aunt a big hug."
"Um I'm kinda tied up here auntie." Murdock hissed.
"I said no back chat!"
"That's better. Miss, could you take that ridiculous jacket off? I don't hold
much with these new fangled city fashions."
"But..." Murdock was stopped by a stern look from his 'Great Aunt'.
"Well I suppose it would be ok during the visit, I've never seen Mr. Murdock
respond so well before, do you fancy visiting more often?"
"Oh my dear, now I've found him, Rest assured, I won't let him outta my sights.
Young men just need discipline. That or rigorous exercise." Murdock took the
hint as he was unbuckled. But really! Hannibal didn't have to live here, this
"You would think the army would have sorted all that out huh?" The nurse said
as she finished releasing Murdock.
"Yes you would, wouldn't you? I don't know what the world's coming to. Do you
know I was attacked by some MPs only last month, they said I got in the way!
And the language? I tell you I gave them a piece of my mind before I was
'You certainly did Hannibal' Murdock thought to himself.
"And for heaven's sake open up that window, it's far too stuffy in here, no
wonder he's acting up on you, he needs the fresh air." The nurse obeyed, she
wasn't about to get on this strange lady's bad side. "Now where's my hug young
"OK auntie, but it always makes Billy jealous."
"Now you just stop all that nonsense, he's been obsessed with the name Billy
for as long as I can remember, when you burnt down the kitchen, it was Billy,
when you let all the horses loose, it was Billy. When you chewed all the phone
wires, that was Billy too. Enough! I won't hear it, you show some respect young
Murdock sighed and stood up, Hannibal was intent on making him look crazy,
really, burning down the kitchen, that was a grenade. The horses was a rescue
and belonged free, and the phone wires.... well ok he had chewed those, they
tasted nice, but so had Billy!
As Murdock had predicted, Billy didn't take kindly to this action, especially
after the slating he'd just received. Billy jumped up and bit the dress
Hannibal was wearing, it ripped to reveal a pair of white cotton bloomers,
damn Hannibal was a perfectionist!
"Oh my!" Hannibal gasped. "Just look what you've done! How dare you?! You'll
see the back of my hand for this young man." Hannibal turned to the nurse. "Oh
please, what am I going to do? I can't possibly go out like this! Do you happen
to have any needle and thread? Oh it's all so distressing!"
"Come with me Mrs. Murdock, we'll find you something."
"Oh you are a treasure, I can tell you all about his summers at the farm, he
was such a nice young mannered boy. Oh this is all so distressing. And I'll
deal with you later young man!" Murdock gulped.
"Bi-lly." he said with a disapproving tone, "Well it was kinda worth it. Good
"All so distressing." He heard Hannibal's voice disappearing down the hall way.
"He makes some damsel huh?" Face said as he leaned on the open window.
"Well you are welcome to him." Murdock pouted as he joined Face on the outside.
"Are you're scams running thin or something? Losing your touch Faceman? I
guess it's to be expected, I mean, you're getting on n all, and I guess it does
get hard to get all these lovely nurses to just play putty into your hands.
Never mind Face, it comes to us all, I'll just expect Hannibal in the future."
"Old? Expect Hannibal?" Face spluttered.
"No it's OK, really it is, everyone's mojo has a sell by date, yours just
came up early is all, I guess I'll have to handle more scams from here on in."
"Let's just make one thing clear, my mojo is in perfect working order, I am
still the Face that launched a thousand scams and will always be. And you can
expect me in the future.... young man!"
"Fine. Just fine. Younger man!" Face was bad at times, but Hannibal was way
worse, so this arrangement was just fine. "Oh hang on a sec," Murdock leaped
back through the window .
Murdock grabbed the chocolate cake that had been left for him.
"C'mon Billy! Let's go see how distressed we can make another damsel, the
mudsucker variety!" Murdock leaped back out and rejoined Face who just sighed
at the ever grinning Murdock.
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